Hanswolfgang....after long



  • helbells,

    i know there are many issues to work out but surely the child can be a blessing to me, even if no-one else cares about him? no.

    perhaps if you looked so hard but couldn't find anything wrong with him then there is nothing wrong health-wise? no.

    can I handle raising the baby alone? yes.

    Will I stay alone or will i find a partner? You will stay alone.

    will the baby's father ever change his mind? no.

    will anyone in my family help me? yes.

    how will it affect my career? Easy is the Flow...

    First you have to go into some some process where your anger can be expressed, relaxed. Then only can you move into some process, into some inner alchemy that can use sexual energy as a vehicle.



  • hans,

    you're really making it sound as if i don't have much to live for anymore.

    should i be considering terminating the pregnancy?



  • just one more question... will i stay living in this country? or will i move back home? or will i move somewhere else to follow a job opportunity?



  • helbells,

    should i be considering terminating the pregnancy? no.

    will i stay living in this country? no.

    or will i move back home? no.

    or will i move somewhere else to follow a job opportunity? no.

    If you accept it, the whole world is in a very very giving mood towards you.



  • if it's in a very giving mood, why doesn't it want to give me a partner I can rely on? that's the part that scares me the most.



  • helbells,

    if it's in a very giving mood, why doesn't it want to give me a partner I can rely on? because first you should feel a difference the whole day because you encountered a rose flower in the early morning. You should feel totally different the whole day if you have seen the sun rising in the morning and were overwhelmed by it. You should feel an utterly new person if you have seen birds on the wing and you have been with them for a moment. Your life should have started changing.



  • is it possible that my life will get better as a result of this?



  • helbells,

    is it possible that my life will get better as a result of this? no.

    Being happy would really freak you out. Looks like you are much more at ease with being miseable and searching for happiness, rather than just being happy. I don´t know what the problem is but I feel you need a slap to wake you up!



  • no, i really want to be happy but you keep saying it's impossible and it brings me down.



  • you said the baby was a curse! and nothing good will come from it but at the same time I should keep it and not terminate it. i don't know which part i should be happy about...



  • To see this point is to allow an awakening in yourself. Then both can disappear. You can simply let things disappear by not cooperating, by withdrawing yourself, by becoming a simple witness, watching.



  • You are filled too much. There is no room, no space for love to enter in you. You are too crowded. A thousand I's milling inside -- they don't leave any space for anything to enter in you. That's why you go on missing that which is always present.



  • Hello hanswolfgang. I feel unbelievably stupid. I got together with Luis today. He pursued me again after being out of my life for so long. When he was getting ready to leave my place, I commented that he shouldn't be a stranger. He replied that he was going to be more of one because he was moving to Texas for a year. Texas is 1200 miles from where we are now. He also made one of the first references ever to our age difference. Have I seen the last of him this time?

    Lola



  • Lola,

    Have I seen the last of him this time? Yes.



  • I'm glad. I hope that its permanent, in that I never hear from him again.

    Lola



  • Have you understood the significance of it all?



  • He came into my life at one of its lowest points and made me feel attractive, desirable, and alive again. Normally, I know not to entertain a relationship with someone who is so much younger. I couldn't ...or wouldn't see that with him. And on top of that, "a relationship" has proven to be elusive. I have also been responsible for the elusive quality. I guess I'm not completely seeing the significance. Perhaps its a lesson teaching me what I don't want from a relationship. As from the beginning, he's been the pursuer. I don't understand why he...we have been trying to make time for each other all month for it to end up like this. I'm supposed to talk to him later tonight. We'll see if we can end this thing with any understanding of one another.



  • He is a poor man but he can understand.



  • Well he didn't talk to me as promised...what do you mean by poor man?



  • he cannot be independent financially, he cannot be independent educationally, he cannot be independent from woman's domination.


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