Is she(cancer) really done with me? Shall I wait or move on?
Here’s my story, I’m a leo / dragon and she a cancer/ dragon, she’s only 40 days older than me. This is a short version, I know her since Aug, we just start dating since 12/2, we went to a common friend x’mas party on the 20th , together as friend, not date as her request, she was drunk and was doing body shots with her friends and told one that she and I are just friends, I don’t mind about the body shot, but it’s the just friends comment that put a dagger thru my heart, I had a mild argument with her later that night, but we made up on the way home.
She told me that I care for her so much that it scares her, but she does like me and think that I’m special. We made out a little by her front door and when I leave she said she’ll txt me.
I know she’s really busy at work because she’s a researcher and had a yearend deadline to meet, so I didn’t bug her, just email/ txt her once since the party, and on the 24th, she txt to thanks me for the present I gave her on the 20th and wish me a merry x’mas, (she told me she had to work with the other research to finish the project, I love her, so I chose not to question that and I know her field is really competitive)
On the 29th, I email her and asked if we could spend NYE together, (a person from the party invited her to her NYE house party, and my gal told me then that I can go with her if I want to), on the 30th, she email and told me that I care for her so much that it is smothering her because she is so busy at work, she has so little energy and personal time, she doesn’t feel comfortable / fair to be serious with anyone. She said she felt overwhelming just thinking about having a relationship. She said that she thought we would be casually dating but since I have such strong feeling for her it is impossible to be just casual, she cares about me and she knows it hurts and apologize.
I wrote back to her and said that I understand that she’s tired from the project and affected by the weather (she told me before that she’s highly affected by the weather), I’ll give her time and space and will talk late. We didn’t see each other on NYE, I txt her and wish her Happy New Year and let her know that I still care about her and will be waiting for her, she didn’t reply. (I know she went to the house party on NYE.)
She had to go for another business trip 1/6, I txt her and wish her a good/ safe trip, she didn’t respond.
I send her a gift package last week which I had ordered before the new year and told her about, she txt me on Sat. Thanking me for the gift, but asked me to stop sending her gifts and saying the she thought she had made it clear that we can not see each other, she doesn’t want to see me and I’m making it uncomfortable, She ask me to not contact her again. I txt her back and apologize that if I had made her uncomfortable, but I don’t know what I’ve done for her to hate me so much that we can’t even be friends. And that was 1/15.
I went to a going away party hosted by her crush for another common friend on 1/17 and saw her crush txting her, I don’t know what the content is or if she had reply.
I ask to friend her on facebook on 12/30 and she hasn’t respond (neither confirm or ignore), I ended up canceling that request last night.
My question now is that is this one of cancer moody thing, shall I wait and see or move on?
I felt so comfortable with her, and she told me before she like to the vibe between us, and I know she’s the one for me, but I don’t want to bug her and have her hate me, on the other hand, I don’t really want to give up if its just her bring moody and I’m willing to wait for a long time.
Any advise from any fellow Leo or Cancer?
I think you definitely need to like....stop contacting her all together. She needs space...but like, real space. if you keep sending her presents and texts, your not actually giving her space. Cancers get freaked out over their emotions, your lucky she was so honest with you. If she says your affections are scaring her, its very important you tone them down hardcore or you'll push her away completely.
Also, Cancers tend to get totally wrapped up in one thing. So, if she's focusing on her job, she'll have little brain power left for a relationship, as she said. So, you dont have to cut her out of your life, but I would stop the texts and maybe only send her one on like...holidays and thats it. If she wants to consider you, she'll contact you herself. Give her a few months, then maybe contact her and aks her how she's doing. But you need to give her REAL space first.
Hi MariaRia, Thanks for replying, I really needed some 3rd party comments, as we are in the same group of friends and everyone know each other, I just don't want to start any drama by talking to our common friends.
I do plan to give her real space (by not contacting her at all) and see how things goes, I know if we were meant to be, fate will bring us back together, or else, I don't really have to be with her to love her, I can love her from afar, as long as I know she's happy.
On the other hand I might still run into her in an event next Fri, I think I'll just nod and stay away.
I'm planning to send her a Happy bday txt on her bday in june, but I don't know if that would upset her.
Below is the actual last txt from her to me, and me back to her last Sat.
English is my 2nd language, so I don't know if I should txt her in June.
"Thank you for the gifts, but I really need you to stop contacting me. I thought I made it clear that we can't see each other.I don't want to see you and you are making it uncomfortable. Don't contact me again, please!"
"I'm sorry if I had make you uncomfortable, this is the package I told u about in my last email to you in Dec, I don't know what I've done to you to make you hate me so much that we can't even be friends. Like I've said before, I'll respect ur decision. I hope u'll find the one soon and he'll adore you forever."
Ouch, damn. Yah....I would definitely stop contacting her, especially after she said that to you. If you do see her at this event, yes, smile, nod, say hi, and then leave her alone. Dont act like your in any real rush to talk to her. You have to play it really, really cool now. You've gone a little bit too forward, so now I feel you need to take a couple of steps back. You can text her on her birthday ,for sure. June is far away, so that will give you guys enough time apart. But yah, no more gifts definitely.
Usually if a person says they need space, you need to pull away completely and any big things you do for them, like sending gifts, although you just wanted to do something nice, the other person sees it as you invading their space, trying to force them to open up communications again or not respecting their wishes. I know thats NOT what you were trying to do, but thats what they think.
So, dont text her again till her birthday, and if she DOES end up missing you during the time you guys have apart then she'll take that opportunity to talk to you more. If not, then continue to give her space.
Good advice MariaRia. ( You know I always like what you have to say, you are such a comforting person).
LostlLeo, firstly, I think most of us women would love to be with someone like you.
But just reading your posts, I really think you should be strong and move on with your life right now.
Like MariaRia said, send her a text for her birthday, (short and sweet) then take it from there.
I know it hurts to be pushed away by someone you really care about, but in time you will heal from that and who knows, maybe you meet someone new before her birthday and then you may not have to send that text after all.
Quote from one of my Chinese Astrology books, IF YOU LOVE A CANCER/DRAGON, STAY AT HOME BY THE PHONE AND KEEP YOUR LITTLE BLACK BOOK WELL FILLED WITH ALTERNATIVES.
I wish you all the best.
MariaRia and Piscesstar, thanks for ur advice.
I know whatever the future might be, for now, I have to give her space.
I just hope that I won't upset her when I txt her in June.
but then if she wish to be disconnected from me, she could have block me on her google voice or email.
Anyhow, I guess I'll just focus on my work and elderly parents for the time being.
152 days count down.
maria read my forum tell me wut u think please ugh dese effin cancers!!!!!
LOSTLEO - If you ever have a relationship with a cancer person it will drive you crazy 'cause they are very moody people. You are lucky to be told that she needs a space. Its a warning for you so move on.
Indeed... drive you crazy....