Im a Gemini,born on May 27th.
Lately,everythings just been going wrong.
My best friend and I got into a fight,
my grades are really starting to go down,
I just keep messing up on every little thing,
the guy whos completely in love with me,
well,Im not sure if I feel the same way about him,
I just don't wanna hurt him.):
I have no idea whats happening.
My best friend was like a sister to me and even though I moved we'd talk to each other
everyday and after the fight we decided not to be friends anymore.
She was like my good luck charm.I miss her so much.
My grades are really dropping a lot.
Especially in math and science,and even language arts.
Those are my best subjects.I never used to study for tests or anything,and I'd still get perfect marks.Report cards are coming soon,and if I don't get honours,I will be so disappointed in my life like,I don't even know how to explain the level of disappointment Ill be feeling.And I need to make my parents proud too.
By messing up I mean I keep on forgetting things in my locker,
Im a lot more clumsy than usual,and I just keep on answering the questions
wrong everytime my French teacher randomly asks me for an answer.
Im hurting the guy who I know would really die for me,and is not just saying that.
Hes crazy about me.Hes so sweet,he says the sweetest things.Hes caring.Always asking me
to give him my binder and stuff so he can hold it for me.And hes told me he loves me,
like hes said it to me face.>.< Not many guys have really ever done that.
And hes just perfetct.Hes everything I ever wanted in a guy.
But for some reason,theres kind of like a wall thats blocking me from completely falling in love
with him.I don't know why.I want to love him.And hes always trying so hard.
But for some reason I just can't.So I guess I just have to pretend to be in love with him.
I feel so cold hearted.I have no idea whats even going on with my emotions right now.
If I tell him that I don't love him,I don't know what hes gonna do.Theres no other guy or anything
like that.But I just don't know why I can't fully love him.
Maybe 2011 is a bad year for me?
Im losing everything I love,and its like no matter how much I try to feel a certain way,
it doesn't happen,I have no idea why.I just don't even have control over my own feelings
anymore.I don't know what to do.I just feel like sitting there and crying about it.
Its like I have no one to talk to.
Cotton Tail it sounds like you are just going through growing pains, we all have went through them, everything seems like the end of the world and it really isn't. Sometimes in life things happen sometimes beyone our control, sometimes things we can't control. The best thing to do is to remain calm and keep your thoughts positive and just breath in and out and think "this too shall pass" and it will. Sometimes we "outgrow" friends you can wake up one day and realize you really don't have anything in common anymore, it does not me that he/she is bad or that you are either, just happens sometimes. If it is meant to be, it can rekindle again, my best friend and I have been friends over 30 years and sometimes we didn't see each other for years in between, could be you have life lessons to learn and maybe she does too. As for the guy, if you genuinely are not Interested, softly let him know, he should be wise enough to understand. If you treat people the way you want to be treated you know you always did your best. Don't pretend to be something you are not ever for anyone.
For the grades, maybe it's time to study and are you getting enough sleep? It is hard to focus if you are sleepy, there is hope! Think good and Good will happen to you! Don't wish anything on yourself but good things! Good Luck!
I understand what you're saying.(: