Could things get any worse!! :-(

  • Hi there,

    Just spoken to another close friend and she is pregnant!! Obviously l am happy for them but man does it make me feel like crap!!

    Ok, here goes...28 been single for 5/6 years after a really horrible relationship. The only guy l have felt for in this time is the guy that l posted about - l actually thought l had something there!! Time that fantasy went...

    Anyway, l'm lonely and or so fed up of being on the shelf...l want someone to share my life with etc...:-(

    Sorry had to vent now l going to have a really good cry and get it all out...

    Sorry and thanks,


  • .Rosie,

    28 and single? Should be celbrating! Listen, living with, and comiserating with the opposite sex in the hopes that your forming some eternal bond is futile. If you don't already have someone doting on your every move honey it's probably not going to happen. Be grateful. Men are horrible creatures. They lie to themselves, their friends, their boss, God. So, you say "I see all these women in relationships." Each women gives some parts of herself up when she becomes intwined. And darlin', no offense, but it doesn't sound like you know yourself well enough to go bending around on your spirit, in such primordial way. Don't hate yourself for being single, see it as God's giving you a break, when you didn't even realize you needed one. When your so independant, and emotionally strong that you find you no longer need validation from some neanderthal putz, then look for a relationship. But never give anyone all you have, hold some back, protect yourself, and your future. Love is after all a four letter word. And if you are desperate for physical attention, there are lots of ways to invest in reinventing your sexuality. Desperate times, call for desperate measures. Take a good long look at yourself, physically. Men are sight driven creatures. Put the power in your hands not the male of the specie. As soon as they know they have you they are on to the next conquest. Not caring what damage they do to another person's life, or future. Always be prepared to defend yourself!!!!!! This might be 2009, but the natives are just as barbaric as a millenia ago. Your 28, you've got every minute of every day to change the things that are holding you back. Much like myself at 28, sounds like the biggest thing holding you back is you. P.S. DON'T CRY!!!! too long...=D

  • Rosie you are so young!!

    I am a lot older and was single for 7 years following a broken heart but I was ok really I sorta just got on with it so you are ok you have time on you side!

    You will prob be ready now and love will find you when you LEAST expect it as that is always the way so go out be happy have fun and love will find you it sort of has a way of doing that.

    I met someone so outta the blue when I wasnt looking and in the most unlikely place I ever thought and just when I had completley given up on men so dont you worry it will be there for you and SOON

    Dont be lonely I am new to this but this site has given me hope so many people to help and give advice etc..... I love it and the beauty is no one knows you so they cant judge and can give onjective advice its brilliant. You will chat to so many new people you wont have time to be lonely!!


  • Hey 🙂

    Thanks you for advice and yes l know one day l will meet him blah, blah and blah...

    See it's not the being single, l have had a fantastic 5/6 years totally enjoyed my single status and honestly didn't want to be with someone for the wrong reasons so l embraced my independence. Overall l like my life and l like the person l am, and l do get a lot of attention from men...

    Oh and when l say about mates having kids etc it's not because l want, way toooo young for that!! lol. It's just seeing them move on and develop differently and well because l'm not very maternal l feel left out from what they are going through...does that make sense?!

    I would just like to meet someone l like, likes me and fun...nights out, holidays etc

    Overall things just aren't good at the moment, not working, no money - silly credit crunch postponed my career plans!! Trust me l am trying to make things better. Probably why l am over reacting a little here! lol

    Having a good cry because l want this out of my system so l can move on and concentrate on the good stuff....:-)

    Thanks guys!

    Loads of

  • You are not overacting sweetie you sound like a happy bubbly person sometimes a good cry is what you need get it all outta your system you will meet loads of people on here and they will make u smile wait n see

    You have everything in front of you you are lucky....]

    Yep I get the maternal thing feel the same but hey its all good you have a wonderful life ahead lots of excitement precious moments new job holidays and friends and new lovers soooooo cry if u want but u WILL BE HAPPY we will ask the angels!!!!


  • GoodWitch - I think you have possibly given THE BEST advice on here and anywhere else I have been reading about stuff like this. Your advice also rings true for me, as I have been really down on myself for not being with someone. I am SO GLAD I clicked on this post - I actually needed to hear that - even though it wasn't my thread............thank you.

  • Failing that just join my singles club Pauaj?? lol - trust me you would have a right laugh out with me and l'm always looking for new members!! haha.

    Wait a minute Goodwitch - you saying l is ugly?! hahahaha. Only kidding yeah l probably could make more of an effort looks wise....:-)

    I am obviously feeling alot better - spoke to a good friend and going to go away for the weekend soon! Dance the night away and flirt with lots of men...hmmm Leeds or Manchester not sure yet. Oh l'm sooooooo excited now! 🙂

    And Nefratiti - Usually l am the happy go lucky one....

    Thank you all for making me smile....:-) 🙂 🙂 🙂

    R x

  • Rosie

    I dont doubt ur are the happy go lucky one but sometimes happy people get sad too we just need someone to go hey it will be ok and that is what I mean about this forum there is always someone to go hey you are kool its ok

    Happy days have fun in Manchester hey you are uk girl? Me too lots of really nice people on here (forum) lots of people from USA too so far not met many from uk

    stay happyu sweetie uw will get there

    have fun........ goodwitch and paulaj all give great advice that what is so brilliant about this site...

    men?? trust me as older and wiser honestly and I really am speaking from experience here they will use u up and wear u out and spit u out but us girlies we stick together you will get amazin support from this site u lil party gal


  • Rosie

    hey sorry forgot to say and you say you are lonely? Trust me you wont be now you have all these people rushing in to say hello and give you advice its brilliant isnt it and you havent even met any of them............. love it...

  • Hi Rosie, Goodwitch's post was very good, very true. Relationships are give and take. I think it's smart early on to look at it quite seriously. Weigh the pros and cons. Can you deal w/the issues. If you can, cultivate friendships. Please, be happy w/yourself. In no way can you compare yourself w/others. God did not make each similar. We are programmed for everlasting Love and Life. That is why it hurts. The here and now, in my belief, is just temporary.

  • Hi there,

    Thanks for the posts all! 🙂

    As people have said that Goodwitch's advice was good l have been reading and re-reading what was written. With the greatest respect Goodwitch l don't feel like l have been looking or want "validation". Maybe my original post seemed well needy and at that moment it more than likely was! lol.

    As l mentioned later on these 5/6 years have been mainly through choice. I have had opportunitues but they never felt right enough to give up the independence and freedom that l enjoyed so much.

    In a nutshell l am now "ready" to meet someone, l want them to know me and vice versa, I want to give a little more and share up and downs and all the other stuff that l have, well run away from! lol.

    It was the shock of my friend....l am offically the last single one. My friends don't go out now so l feel like my chances of meeting someone just decrease, At this rate l will only ever be able to do on-line dating which l would rather give a miss! lol

    Yes l am young, and no l don't totally know many people actually do? From what l understand and see, people grow and evolve constantly in their life through experience etc...No doubt l will continue to grow and learn - l hope l do!

    Maybe the time alone is preparing me for when l finally meet someone, l don't know....guess it's a case of watch this space....;-)

    Anyway before l continue to bore you all l will leave it there and get some sleep...byeeeee 🙂

    Thanks again!

  • 35- never married- single 7 years

    Rosie I think I know what you are feeling, or maybe it's just something I think I've been through before, and identify with. It is hard when your entire circle of friends become married with children, and you are the only single one. It's like the end of an era with your nearest and dearest. Your married friends always say things won't change, or they can make the time to do the same things, but they inevitably things have to change. You feel your social circle winding down into just you, and even when your girlfriends do go out with you it's just not quite the same. They are talking about diapers, grades, what cute thing happened, whose sick, and soccer games, and you just have nothing to add on any of those subjects... because you don't have kids.

    I understand it is not some lonlieness or validation you need to cry for... it's the realization that suddenly 75% of what your friends lives will be now, is something you can not associate with or really be a part of. In reality it comes out sounding like you want or need what they have, but really you're just realizing you're probably going to have to find new friends to do 'the single thing' with... and that's just intimidating, and often times hard to do.

    I found a home with live music. I found a few bands I liked, and went to see them as often as possible. This way I was able to do something I enjoyed, without feeling like I was ' going to a bar to meet men' and I have wandered across a few very good female friends who were single like me. It's really just about creating new opportunities not only to expand yourself but to meet new people. Take up an art class, a dog training class, or some kind of charity work, just something you have an interest in... then you will not only be filling yourself up, you will be surrounding yourself with people who share some common interest with you, male and female.

  • Bluedawn you are spot on, they is more or less how l feel!! Thank you....:-)

    Yes l suppose it is a start of a new day or life in some ways! lol. And previously is was fear that has stopped me from really grasing what l need to do and most importantly how....feeling really positive about my future now! 🙂

    I AM going to get a new job and meet someone l like and generally have lots of FUN in my life ....l feel it in the air!! lol. Any help, tips and hints welcome....haha

    Thanks all,

    R x

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