The Captain Cancer Man makes me confused I need to know where I stand Aquarius



  • Hi! ,The captain after all the storm in my life here I am again. I just came back from holiday after all the emotional stress of cancer man. I knew somehow we can connect again and and to tell you the truth.I am the one try to find away to keep in touch with him.I always have this strong feeling that we can catch up again. He hurt me badly everything that he knew about me he used all of that to make me feel upset. He swear and calling me a slut, ugly,bitch, dump a lot of unacceptable words that he can say to me, but nothing is truth I hate people swearing and he always knew that. I am not an ugly person,I am a family oriented person and very friendly. He always said to me that he doesn't wanna know about my friends and family very strange he want his privacy and discretion, I said to him so do I.He hated me cos everything he said to me was lied . I call him pathological liar, scum bag , user and all he wanted me to do is to go away and leave him alone.After a month I started calling him and his begging me to leave him alone but I'd flirted him a bit which I never did to anyone and I can make him laugh over the phone. He always asking me what did I want and I want him to have me and come over at my place and help me to tidy up my place and his willing to help me. But he said to me that he doesn't wanna argue with me anymore. He stayed for over night and he said to me that I made him relax and telling me that he only want the best for me ring now. After all the dramas all he want to do is to live life peacefully and sure I am too, I can feel that I missed him so much and this time he never stopped cuddling me tight and kissing me all night. And i said to him hope I can have him once in awhile and he said he can as long as I will not bothering him all the time and to stopped messaging and calling him for several times a day. When we woke up I always wanted him to stayed back but he can't. He was on the door step and smiling at me and said I'll see you soon.He knows I'll be away again and be back for a month before I leave I send him message that I missed his kiss and cuddling but never replied its been 5days now. I dont wanna get hurt but I dont wanna stay for no assurance where do I stand to him. I always find away to keep intouch with him. And he never want to brought up what we been through. Now who I am to him. I'm i one of his friends with benefits and for all I now his single now.



  • I'm not the captian but i have a similar situation but the other way around he was the one contacting me. But you shouldn't take him calling you names etc. He isn't better than you and should respect you . You're boosting his ego while he belittle you and killing your self-esteem etc. My cancer guy also seemed to like control becuz i use to let him.. he even said that b*ches like me want to be controlled so that's what he's doing but he noticed i wasn't taking his crap anymore. So he continued saying mean things. I think you deserve better than him.... in time you will see that. I know how you feel i strangely still miss my cancer guy too eventhough in the end i hurt him back and told him who and what he is. Since that day he left me alone. He use to say to leave him in peace when we're arguing but he would still come and herass me. I know that I will be oke and i'm going to take the time to love myself and get back on track.

    if he wants to have you as a friend with benefits forget it... it will feel gd at the moment but hurt after... Your the one who is going to get the bitter end..( telling your from experience). He knows how you feel about him so if he does that then he's just selfish...

    I wish you strength...



  • I appreciate your advice Gemmi90, I know some how you have a point and must be right.Yeah , I am the one keep intouch with him shamed but true , he called me names and swearing on me over the phone and sms. And every time we meet he never once said those words on my face. I asked him once to stopped doing that to me cos he knows I am not the right person to talk shit.He said to me that I have to stop annoying him.I said to his to shallow for that I don't know why he never once want to disscuss that he laid to me.All of my mates wants me to stay away from him I was so soft and at the moment I enjoy having time with him.I know for somehow I will hurt myself.I hope God give me courage to show me the right way. Thank you so much and I wish you all the best of everything.



  • "I am the one keep intouch with him shamed but true , he called me names and swearing on me over the phone and sms. And every time we meet he never once said those words on my face."

    I had the samething... swear we know the same guy...

    Yes my mates wants me to stay away too and i think they're right.. Becuz i havent had any contact with him after i hurt his feelings and he know that i would ignore him eitherways bcuz he replied after i told him that by saying crap as if he didnt have anything to say but wanted something to say. I just ignored him... I was seeing him for 8/9 months i can tell u that it has indeed done alot of damage to me. Now I am getting pyschologist help to get back on my feet becuz i will not let this happen to me again. Don't need someone in ur life who is going to degrade you. that is what i realize. You're hurting yourself already and its going to hurt even more later on...



  • " he called me names and swearing on me over the phone and sms. And every time we meet he never once said those words on my face."



  • You are his booty call, nothing else. There is no love here. He simply enjoys the power he has over you to do get he wants and treat you badly. The only question here is - why do you put up with this abusive behaviour? People treat you as you allow them to treat you.



  • The Captain that's what I am thinking to him I am just his booty call, It really hurt my feelings, I sometimes asking him why you doing this to me since he knows that I am far from all the words that he said , He just answered that he never ones to disrespect me and he never was .He just said all of nasty words if we having argue and as much as he want me to do was to leave him alone. Which I really never stopped complaining, questioning and attacking him.He sometimes scared me and threatening me but he said he never mend to say those words .He said that cos he want me to stop and take a relax and calm down for we both now were stressing ourselves last year for almost 4 month.And he asking me after all of what he said against me . He never one's trash my place nor breaking my house which is true. And when ever were together he never once makes me feel accept and he said sorry and hugging me so tight and asking me to kiss him which sometimes I refused and he gets upset to me and asking me if I want him to go home instead,Were like a kids laughing and teasing when were together watching dvd. and his head lying on my tummy and he always makes sure to cuddle me always had a skin contact and he never once away from me when he sleep with me.I decided to give him a chance if I compare him to some other man if they really want to have fun after that they just go home, like wham bum thank you mum, but he stayed at my place as long as he never work the next day. Call me stupid but I really need to understand him as some of my friends said to me go with the flow but most of them telling me that I don't deserved a man treat me like a doormat I just smile and replied there is sunshine after the rain. I will wait for the sign and that's the time, I will decide to myself shall I stay or I need to let him and what ever happen . I need to put on my mind that its my decision and I allow myself in this situation but I should be strong and no more regrets for I know somehow some where a long the way I will meet my prince charming and that time I am a better person cos I made it all . Thanks so much for all the advice I am not trying to be mean or criticized your point of you but I really do not know as the days past by I am very positive to myself which is a good feelings.Thank you again The Captain I really appreciate your advice and makes me feel stronger and a better person..



  • You have already had many signs of this man's disregard for you. How many more signs must you get before your self-respect is completely gone? He treats you like a doormat because you let him. He is only nice to you to get sex. he likes to stay at your place becasue you wait on him hand and foot. But the rest of the time he doesn't think about you.

    Anyway I can see you only want advice about prolonging the relationship so there is nothing more I can say to you. You will have to learn from bitter experience.



  • The Captain, You make me feel scared by saying .I will have to learn from bitter experience.WOw you hit me there. OMG!!! Here I am again confused over and over again to this man. I keep think how I start this stupid love of mine and now I just realized he is the one start and initiate of this at first I don't agree for his idea let see how we go.After a few days of no communication I ring him and said to him I'm not ready for what he want. He never once ring me or message me I remember for all of the time I'll spend in him he only call me once and all of the days that I missed him I need to message or ring him to remind him I am still for you waiting on my turn. God I am really exhausted now I'll tried my best to be positive in every aspect of my life and here I am again . I am sorry The Captain I don't want you to feel bad just because of how I feel now but you get it right honestly...I get back in his arms last week and I am the one chasing him and its been 6days I never hear anything from him .And that is true he never once thinking of me unless I will please him to spare his time with me and I give him pleasure damn I felt so bad why do I have to allow this things since I know it will never be a happy ending. The Captain can you give an insight this year I born February 16. 1975. Is this year is good for me I am wood Rabbit and this year is Year of the Rabbit. I will try my best to stay away from him and put in to my mind he is no good for me and I don't need him in to my life thank you so much