Really hurting.....please help!
hi,i jst can describe ths is d first time i really felt so hurt!i cant imagine like ths the felling.i really love d man wth honestly n wth my pure heart!but i not expecting he can said all over ths past one year been wth me actually is not true love but is jst coz sex n lust!whn i found out tht by myself last monday im pretty sure u know how hurt it is!whn u love d man sincerely n ths is d first man i can said i really felt i love him sooo much.i couldnt believe in my eyes after look d email he have send to his dad,instead of discuss wth me if there have a problem!i been in swiss almost 4years wth his real mum for helping taking care of his kids,for beginning i knw him whn he came visit his mum in swiss on 2007,but tht time i jst respect him like family!thn i starting click wth him on 2009 whn he were in sweeden!bcoz of i living wth his mum so sometime he have been chat wth me for asking how is it his mum n others.frm tht time we begin always chatting non stop n i can said we begin like each others n felt there have a love!i never thought i could be his gf...then he fly frm sweeden to swiss jst for me whn i aggree to be his gf as well on february 2010.i follow him back bcoz he plan everthing wth me n wnt to live wth me in sngapore.he do living in sgpore as well his dad already settle down here!so since in swiss we plan bring me back bcoz dnt wnt we being apart,i could trust him n actually his mum not really like it bcoz him not really have stable job yet.but i do follow him bcoz i wnt to make new life instead living in swiss for long time i have nothing.so we arrive in sgpore on mid sep last year!wht make me so sad its wht ever he plan since in swiss tht just nothing n jst bullshit!we get here n i dnt seem he like to do his old job bcoz he just love to work wth horse.(polo)but in sgpore he cant hold the job for long time.so i always advice him try find d job,then save money for future n married.i strongly believe in him n myself tht will spend rest of my life wth him over here.but whn i get here all is ruin..he fox d polo job in philipine now he have been there since early december last year!i thought he jst gone for 2 month like he said,but before he leave he promise to send ticket for me after new years eve for visit him.i do hope on everthing wht ever he said bcoz i knw he will..but all tht jst on my dreams!after he get there in d begin all r seem ok n we always keep contact in sms.but jst after ths new year he loss contacting me like before.i was wondering wht happends n i dnt knw where is it d problem i have did.he jst said bcoz busy n expensive to text often but y jst now he complain!i dnt care he cant text or call me but i already said let me will call him often,but even we talk on d phone he never be nice,or talk nicely,we always must be arguing,his kind of hot temperatured n me either but i always try to be calm.but smtime i cant take it,d problem now i have been so hurt hoe could he said d love for me actually not true but is jst coz sex n lust!so wht i have been thought whn he alredy losss contact wth me i may guest he have smone else or i have done smthng wrong by sms.even tht he should discuss wth me but y jst keep silent suddenly!im wondering he get change like this.is so sad for me living here alone n i thought whn we being apart we will be more love each others n missing more n more!but maybe only me but he seem not at all...he text me on 7jan said i have to make up my mind bcoz he wanted to moving there for good coz he think d job he can hold it for long terms!i do reply i cant jst moving bcoz really unsure abt him!he jst like to talk n confident but wht i have seem in d end nothing!like in sngapore i get d result already!after tht he really like ignoring me even i text him asking y he like tht...so smtime for sure i will talk back is it he forget me already or busy wth someone else.n asking y he not stick to his word!i seem his email sending to his dad saying seriously i make him stressfull n drive him mad.i make him possessive abt married issue.but i never force him!i do always give him advice abt the future bcoz i do believe he love me honestly like he always said...whn ever he sms all d msg is so perfect.surely i do believe as well!i do bear it wth his attitude.i do everthing he want,care wht he need n all whn we living 2gther!but for him im jst nothing!whn being argue i knw he said some words is out of his love.ii always try to be strong bcoz i believe one days he will be change to a better man!but i dnt expecting jst one month he been away y jst now he realise tht he regret bring me back frm swiss n his love jst coz sex n lust!i dnt knw y he not come clean to me n said...he no need to blame me in everythng!even him not so perfect either.but now i really cant bear it anymore n im so really2 hurt by him!maybe god open my eye for letting him go n make my own life.after i get d real answer frm reading d emai he have send to his dad,i straight away send him email y he did this to me!!!!!
all over ths past one year i do love him so much wth my heart!then i cant imagine now wht i have been hope for living in sgpore 4 good actually jst dream.he happy now being in philipine so im happy 4 him also.frm last monday i couldnt believe this all happends to me.i keep crying non stop,keep thinking,wondering,is iit im so bad tht i deserve all this things!i am a women not socialise like go club,drinking,fucking around,flirting a man,or smoking!for me i have good enought n always be who i am!i pray to god tht he can be good n change his attitude!so frm now on i make up my mind i will be back to my country in malaysia.since i already knw he like that n i write long email to him to explain evthing.he said let discuss n he be back on 9feb.but for me there is nthing to discuss bcoz i cant bear to hear or see him again.i knw he will said d same things like in d email.really i love him n cant let him go but deep down i follow wht my heart said!i will move frm his house end of month before he back here.is really hard to see him again for chat in d last time but i thinking this d best jst walk away behind him...his parents r really like me n they r so nice n really want me to wait him back but i do explain im not d right gurls for hisson!and he also already said in email if that i choose i can go bcoz he cant force me to stay!but 4 me if really true he love me for sure he insist to let me go!but for his good sake n me i do let him go n decide we r over!
please help me is it this d good action i have been doing??????im still thinking do i need wait him come back on 9feb for last disscussion even i knw we r not meant to be 2gther?and plz look 4 my love reading....we really not meant be 2gther anymore? im born on 4 august 1986 n him is 5 january 1987..thanks all ur advice!
I will help tmw
today he have sms me already tht saying sorry ths relation wont work out!n dnt lke to push in regarding marrieds.but wht i not forgot i didnt push him into it!is him d one porpose it n saying abt it.thts y i come back to sngpore wth him!i reply n said the pint i decide brek up not bcoz tht,but he really break my heart like a pieces of glasses,tht will never can repair it anymore.bcoz he could sid the love for over ths past one year is jst coz sex n lust!!so i finish wth him totally after i knw d truth...but i do not regret wht happends,i always keep strong n lethim go even deep down my heart still love him.this is first time i felt soo hurt...