Looking for help with frustrating Gemini



  • Hi! I would so appreciate any help or insight....

    I'm not sure how to proceed in my relationhip with a man - the two choices being push harder or give up. I really, really like him and I don't instantly click with people often. We've been friends since last July, but due to his job he's always traveling. He goes completely cold with me all of the time. We'll be getting along great and talking regularly and then he just stops responding. The next time I reach out to him, it's all HEY! like there's no reason we haven't been in touch. It's so annoying! He likes me, I have no doubt about that. Just two weeks ago, I posted on my facebook that I wasn't feeling well and my car was still under a few feet of snow. Within an hour, he texted me a picture of my car completely shoveled out. He walked over, did it, then went home before he told me because he didn't want me to think there was an ulterior motive. All night after that we texted back and forth about ways I could thank him, so there's definitely not a lack of sexual interest there. So I let a few days go by and then invited him out to dinner to say thank you. He responded that he's on a business trip and thanked me for the invite, chatted about a couple of other things and then again... randomly stopped responding. No "maybe when I get back" or anything like that. WTF!! I know he likes me, I know he's attracted to me and yet he could not possibly make himself any less accessible. Sorry for the super-long post, but if anyone would be willing to shed a little light/advice on this situation, I'd greatly, greatly appreciate it.

    Thank you! 🙂

    Him: 06/16/1970. Me: 01/17/1974

    I don't know if this helps or not, but this was The Captain's photo reading of him:

    "Cherryvanilla, this man feels things very deeply and is an emotional person, though he may try to hide it. He is easily hurt and very self-protective. There is a lot of sensitivity and compassion in him and he would do anything for his friends. He was once hurt very badly by someone he loved and finds it hard to forget or get over it. It makes him wary of new relationships."



  • Hi I just wanted to see if I could send out this request again... I'd really appreciate anyone offering any insight. Thanks so much!!



  • From my experience, Gemini men aren't exactly the best at phone correspondence. Sometimes they just disappear & get stuck in their own world, totally oblivious to everything else. Absent-minded in a sense. He sounds like a sweet but busy fellow. Even cautious, according to the captain.

    It may be best to sit him down, lay out your cards/how you see the situation & see where he's coming from since he's often traveling. He'll appreciate the communication, honesty & assertiveness. Perhaps your intent interest will make him feel secure enough to stop beating around the bush.

    I, for one, hate missed opportunities. And you, being a cap, probably do too.

    Best of luck, my friend! 🙂



  • Thanks JustineCleo! 🙂



  • Hi, cherryvanilla,

    Wow, this must be karma because I for one am dealing with a Gemini with the similar circumstances. I know they say Gemini are "twins' but I've got a "gut feeling - but postively sure" we maybe involved with the same person ( I pray we aren't though) I met this Gemini..........

    1. On a dating inline site

    2. He travels alot as well (the midwestern and eastern region) but is based in MN.

    3. You commented "We'll be getting along great and talking regularly and then he just stops

    responding." Same here....does he do this ....you guys can be texting back and forth and

    then out of the blue when you make a comment or ask a question he doesn't "text you back

    for a few days?"

    4. When he decides to text you back, he acts like everything is "wonderful" and may state "he

    misses you" or call you "stranger"

    5. Does he actually have a "phone conversation" with you or is it basically "texting."

    6. Also, the guy I am dealing with is 40, too

    7. You stated that he shoveled you car out of snow two weeks ago. Well, I receive a text from

    this gemini on Wednesday, 29, 2010 that "it not fun clearing snow nor is it fun digging your

    car out of snow banks."

    8. Mine also is pretty not accessible too.

    Cherryvaniila may it's just a concidence that we are both are experiencing the same problem (may this is common with gemini's, not sure?... it's just weird. really weird, I'm not trying to upset you but if this is the "same" person at least we "know" why he acts the way he does. Let me know your thoughts.



  • Hi divaangel,

    No worries, definitely not the same guy! My Gemini was born, raised and is probably never leaving NYC. He lives a few blocks away from me and shoveled my car on 12/30. Very, very similar situation though! How weird is that?!? Good luck with him... if he's anything like the guy I'm dealing with, he's worth the aggravation when he's around. 🙂



  • Hi, cherryvanilla,

    I didn't mean to make a mountain out of a molehill but it's so weird that you and I are sharing the same circumstances:-) Keep your chin up though atleast yours is making an effort (helping you out, that was very sweet of him!!) All I am getting is text messages and playing hide-n-seek!! If nothing happens by February 9, I am going to have to leave him alone although I don't want to but I think he is just "stringing me" along. Good Luck with your gemini:-)



  • Push a little harder, he will resist. Then stop all contact. You may not speak for 2 months or so. If he doesn't call you within that time. Call him and ask if he'd rather you not call him anymore. This should open up some dialog about his feelings for you.



  • if ne of u guys can help go to my forum read from start i need help -_- crazy ex cancer



  • "Push a little harder, he will resist. Then stop all contact. You may not speak for 2 months or so. If he doesn't call you within that time. Call him and ask if he'd rather you not call him anymore. This should open up some dialog about his feelings for you. "

    Can I just do this now? It's been 6 months since I've actually seen him. It was super sweet of him to come over and dig out my car, but then there was the "Thanks for the dinner invite 🙂 I'm actually away for the next three weeks" So WTF?! Am I supposed to call you then? Or is that a nice way of blowing me off? And why would you come dig my car out, spend the whole night texting me sexual things back and forth about how much you want to be with me again, and then blow me off? If he wanted to get laid and be done with it, this is the most ass backward way of doing it. But if he doesn't want anything at all from me, why do something so nice and then flirt with me all night? GRRRRRRRR



  • he may just not be sure what he wants. He may like you more then casual, but not be sure if he is ready to go the next step.... nothing, but nothing attracts a Gemini like confusion. So confuse him. Tell him you really like him then don't call anymore... if he doesn't call within 2 months he will be ready to talk... I am a gemini and I've dated the commitment phobes trust me it'll work.



  • @ crazyaquarius... I dated a cancer for almost 4 years... they are imposible to figure out.... Runnnnn while you still can.



  • Hi - I just wanted to throw this out here again... Gemini is coming home this weekend from his 3 weeks away (work & vacation). I'm not going to jump all over him as soon as I know he's home, but I know if I wait for him to contact me, it'sgoing to drive me insane since he's very slow to do anything like that. Should I wait until next week and then send him an email? Do I call? We usually just text, never talk on the phone. I don't know... all I know is as it gets closer to him returning, I'm getting more anxiety about it. 😕



  • Hi- I'm currently seeing a gem and I'm going to say so far it's true.....when they are first feeling you out, trying to determine whether to move forward or not other things take his attention from you rather easily. And since they usually have work, friends and 50million things goign on it makes it easy for them to keep moving.... Not that they forget about you or dont want to see you but they get busy.....the good news is the more important you become to them the more they want to be with you..reach out to you etc. The one thing I've noticed is that for gems the saying absence makes the heart grow fornder is true....at least for mine... cause if I'm not in contact for more than two days (calling or texting) he's calling me until I answer.

    Hopefully your weekend with him back in town worked out well!!



  • Hi, cherryvanilla

    i was asking myself the same thing tonight, working harder or leave it alone, it took me a while to come to the conclusion then leave it alone is the best solution for me

    of course you like the guy, you want to try plus something about him just want you to try harder

    i did that and guess what i havent moved much from it

    he always blow hot and cold, he keep doing what he been doing before, never mind what i do

    it's funny because you jump with both of your feet in when the guy his not really there, all they give you is to chase harder and harder a dream, an image of what love could with them

    and we want to believe in that

    but the reality is most the time you are alone , wondering about this and that about the situation like we are doing right now

    most the time you are there looking to understand to plan, to be more prepare, to say the right thing

    when the guy he get along with his life, busy busy, my Gemini his the same , busy, travelling

    it feel like really with all those comment there is really one gemini man out there dating different women, it's amazing how they all show the same trait of behaviour

    for the love of me and for the best of my health i decided to leave it alone and cut all contact with the guy

    it's not easy at all to do because your heart take longer to follow but you learn

    it hurt when other guys give you more and the guy you want cant give you any closeness with him, he only txt sometimes or email or show you some bite of interest before disappearing

    unreliable his they name.

    i love mine but no , what his give me is not enough for me to give up my beautiful life for loving a ghost

    they kind love to make you wait, you run after them as soon you stop they come after you just to drag in back again

    it's not healthy at all and it bring zero balance to your life

    it's a shame because this situation also leave no room to build up a friendship or a relationship for that matter

    it's a sade situation