Why can't i stick up for myself?



  • What is wrong with me? I can't seem to stick up for myself when people won't listen to what I have to say. Whats the best way to get people to listen to me without causing a problem? it appears to me that some people think I am incapable of making decisions on my own so they make them for me and when i object they ignore me completely and do what they want anyway. Then I get upset and get told to apologize when they should be apologizing to me for not listening. for example I said I didn't want company for christmas and the people I didn't want to have over came over anyway and of course not wanting to cause a problem, I let them in my home even though I had made it clear in advance that they were not wanted. Things like this happen all the time because these people are related to my daughter and refuse to listen to me. I had been pottty training my daughter and almost had her potty trained and then they go and put her in diapers and then I have to start all over, I had asked them not to put diapers on her and they do it anyway. They obviously don't want to help and its gotten to the point now that my 3 year old won't even sit on the potty anymore. I am so sick of these type of things happening. I am also pretty upset with them because I lost the man that I love because they did not mind there own business. What can I do to stop being a door mat? I could yell and scream but they won't listen they act like they own me. Like they know whats best for me and my kids, when they don't know whats best for us at all.



  • Hi, Do these people help out in any way. Sounds like you just need help being more assertive. Try standing up for yourself and see how your life changes.



  • Hi Daliolite, They help some times but not often. There son(my ex) is always willing to watch the kids if I need him too. But yeah I try being assertive with them, doesn't work and I wasn't impressed that my daughter came home today in the same clothes I sent her in on Friday. I don't know whats going on but this isn't the first time they've done it. My ex has clothes for her. I think it's laziness. When my daughter is with me she is always clean has bathes etc. I don't know guess I have to say something again. I am going to have to keep track of things because this is ridiculous. Thanks for writing back to me. I will research how to be more assertive, hopefully that helps. Have a good night.



  • Dear Luckyne,

    I have exactly the same problem as you i need to be more assertive but it doesnt matter what i do i find that i am always being treated like a doormat as well ,even if i have a go at someone and i am in the right i feel guilty for having a go at them and apologise to them in the end My new years resolution was to be more assertive i to wish i would stick up for myself more instead of putting up with other peoples crap .



  • It might help if you guys faced exactly what you think might happen if you did assert yourselves. When you know what you fear, you can take steps to deal with it.