Pls Guide: My ex has suddenly popped out of nowhere? What's on his mind?



  • Seeking guidance and insight in a very close relationship, that came to an unfortunate end mid Nov '10. My partner of 5 yrs, got married to another girl giving into family pressure.... although I dont completely absolve him of everything, the circumstances we were in really made things difficult for us. Anyway, mid Nov. we separated.... I believed it was over forever. The next month that followed was really difficult. But now I had no choice but to accept certain realities of my life. In fact, I began working towards it..... but very soon I realised God had some more tests in store for me.

    On new years (one & a half month from him marriage), out of nowhere, my ex wrote me a mail. Not wishing me new years, but claiming his love for me, that he'll always be right here for me..... I read the mail once.... but I am surprised it didnt stir any emotion in me.... I was not happy, not angry, didnt feel love or hatred, nothing at all..... it just didnt seem right to me..... and I chose to ignore it and didnt even reply him back. I thought this will discourage him and he will stop communicating with me now, but no he did not. 2 days back, his mother called up. She tried showing a lot of concern for me, but I didnt encourage the conversation, asked her to not bother me and disconnected the call!

    For the past one month, since Nov. I have been trying to act really strong. I have maintained a dignified silence.... and I never contacted him back, realising he was married now. But now with the recent communication from my ex and his mother, I am really getting weak. I dont know if they genuinely mean what they claim or its just a ploy? Or he's doing this only out of plain guilt to lessen his guilt and to lessen my pain?

    I am totally confused and miserable. I dont know why are they behaving the way they are? In fact, my ex has till date not even uttered he;s married. It was his uncle, who apprised me of the situation.

    Can any of you please look into this, and guide me, provide me some insight into my ex's attitude and our present and our future. Is he really trying for us to reunite? Was he or is he genuine? Any help, just about any help, is sincerely appreciated.... wish I could convey how badly I am struggling to solve the biggest puzzle of my life.....

    My DOB is 28th February 1979 and My ex's DOB is 26th February 1976. Hope this info, helps.



  • This family think it's fine for a man to have a mistress as long as he has done the right thing and gotten married first. Your ex is being encouraged to 'have his cake and eat it too'. He doesn't love his wife and isn't attracted to her so he wants you to provide what is missing for him. But he won't ever leave her for you because his family would disapprove. In their odd way they want him to be happy. In their minds, he did the culturally and socially proper thing by marrying a suitable woman - now they think he is free to have affairs on the side. You will not find any happiness in this sort of lopsided arrangement.

    Also your astrological profiles predict that a marriage between you and your ex would have been a disaster as you both are dreamers and would have had trouble fulfilling your practical domestic responsibilities. You both have very mutable natures and have difficulty sustaining a constant level of feeling for very long, and are quickly lured away by new prospects.