My Life seems to be falling apart



  • Just last month I lost my best friend, because he said we couldn't be friends anymore because I said he hurt me (he did physically), he thinks we were a couple and I was cheating on him by talking to other guys. He kept telling me he knew I was in love with him and it was ok I could say it, but we could be nothing but friends then acted like a jealous boyfriend. He even started kissing me! And he was like my brother who I last when I was 9.

    My Mom's neighbor who was also a friend and looked out for my mom when I couldn't, died unexpectedly. And today my mom blacked out while we were shopping. She's been coughing and wheezing for awhile now as well but won't go to the doctor.

    If I lose my mom I don't have anyone left! I'm lost right now and scared. Anyone see anything for me? My mom's health, new boy friend, or anything? I can't be alone again.



  • As hard as this is, none of this is your fault or your problem. You can't stop what happens to other people or alter their choices. Your friend wanted to be more to you and couldn't accept that you didn't feel the same way. That's his fault, not yours.

    Your neighbour's death was not your fault or your problem. Life and death happen. People will always come and go from your life and you from theirs. But on a deep soul level we are all connected and always will be.

    Your mom has to become more responsible for her own health, if not for herself then for her family.

    Now all you can do is to discover why you are so frightened of being alone. Why aren't you your own best friend? What prevents it? Don't you feel strong enough to stand on your own feet and take care of yourself?



  • If this was facebook Captain I would click LIKE....spot on



  • Hi emaeqf, What a lot to go thru. It doesn't surprise me that your friend wanted you as a girlfriend. He had no right to get physical about it. Stay away from him. Going thru life without a parent (family) is what I'm most concerned about as you'll need to make good, strong decisions for yourself. Actually, it can make you stronger. No matter who you are and how much family you may have, everyone has to make the right decisions for their life. I deal with my own bad decisions. Seems like my emotional decisions are the ones that get me in trouble. Like keeping the boyfriend I really know I should get rid of. Not paying attention to my inner voice. Sometimes our emotions can be tricky. They can trick us into thinking that we can't do something that we actually can. They can make us feel self-pity etc. Don't let negative emotions rule you. It someday will be very hard to accept the passing of someone dear to you. Please take care of yourself during this time and try to get your mom to realize that she needs medical care. I wish you the best!



  • Hi Emaeqf, I did a reading for you. I hope it helps.

    I drew the 6 of swords as your center. This card can indicate mild depression. Your moving in a different direction. Card indicates change or loss, a sad feeling. This is how you view your present situation.

    I drew more major arcana cards for you than I have for anyone. You're learning (having a speed course) in life's issues. Try to draw from your experiences as you'll need them in going forward. I drew the Temperance and Justice cards in your past. From your losses you'll gain greater meaning and understanding. You have been experiencing life changing events. Temperance & Judgment together is calling for balance and tranquility to acheive fufillment in your life. Test the waters before making any decisions. Avoid extremes. Always look at both sides before making a decision. Be impartial when making a decision. You're able to work in harmony with others.

    I also drew the Magician above your present situation. You have the ability to take charge and turn dreams into realilty.

    You love your friends. Celebrations, fufillment and happiness are what you bring into the picture. Your reading speaks of pregnancy more than once.

    In your near future I drew the Lovers with the Hanged Man reversed. It's quite possible that someone is coming into your life who isn't what they appear to be. This person will be unable to give you what you want. Elusive. Not ready for a relationship. Whatever the case during this time don't lose faith in yourself.

    As the future and situation progresses, I drew the World as your card. This overall is a very benevolent reading. You are going to find your place in the larger picture.

    I drew the 6 of Coins in your environment (others.) Will have help from others. Stop thinking solely about problems.

    Queen of Cups in your hopes and fears. Queen of Cups shows that you are emotional and creative. A source of trouble for you may be the over-flowing of emotion. This card shows you as a good person.

    Eight of Wands in the Outcome. This shows movement and change. Something you encounter may need swift action. I think it means the coming together of many ideas.

    Be quite careful in you near future Lovers w/Hanged Man reversed. Overall, a great reading.



  • Hi Daliolite,

    I'm new to this site. I came across your readings and I was wondering if you could do one for me as well? My bday is 5/17/80, MK initials.

    Thank you so much!

    Marina



  • Thats your problem, you fear being alone and you will always bee left in the cold becuase you have to learn likme we all do that we need to handle life alone and miond our own business, and who cares what happens to moms friend, why are you using other people problems to present to a forum?

    If one guy hurts you , do you think you lost anything? NO I HAVE NO PITY.

    I WILL NO INSULT YOU AND TELL YOU that your neighbors problems are no tyour fault and so on you know that, your problem is clear, you on this forum asking for help on a simple common sense issue, CAPTAIN IS ON HERE ALL DAY EVERY DAY FOR THE PAST HOW MANY YEARS. I wonder if he or she has a life of their own outside a computer, if she is so great why doesnt she or he have a job? Or a job counseling. My advice AS a counselor is to go see a counselor.

    I JOINED ABOUT A MONTH AGO AND HAVE BEEN ON VACAY, I WONT BE BACK AS THIS FORUM GOES NO WHERE I SEE. I WOULD NEVER TAKE ADVICE FROM CAPTAIN OR ANYONE BECUASE CAPTAIN IS ON HERE ALL DAY AND NEEDS TO GET A REAL LIFE AND A JOB. DONT FORGET YOU ARE NOT GETTING PROFESSSIONAL HELP HERE.

    IF YOU DO NOT STAND FOR ANYTHING YOU FAL FOR ANYTHING. WILL HAS TO HELP ITSELF.

    AS CAPTAIN QUOTED :Now all you can do is to discover why you are so frightened of being alone. Why aren't you your own best friend? What prevents it? Don't you feel strong enough to stand on your own feet and take care of yourself?

    YOU DONT NEED THIS; YOU ALREADY KNOW. IF YOU LOOK FOR VALIDATION AND PITY YOUR IN THE DARKNESS. IF YOUR ON THIS FORUM ALL DAY EVERY DAY WITH HMDREDS OF POST YOU AS WEDLL IN THE DARK.

    HONESTLY NO ONE HERE HAS A CONNECTION TO YOUR ASSOCIATES AND WE WILL NEVER GIVE YOU ANYTHING IF WE DO BUT A FALSE SYMPATHY AND PITY FOR THEM. THE PROBLEM IS NOT THEM ITS YOU.

    IF YOUR LIFE FALLS APART BECUASE YOU CANNOT HOLD ON TO PEOPLE, YOUR APART AND GET YOUR SELF TOGETHER AND STOP AVOIDING YOUR WILL TO MOVE ON.

    SECURITY NEVER EXIST UNTIL YOU GET IT ON YOUR OWN.



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  • Hi Marina, Yes, I'll try to get to your reading by tomorrow eve. afternoon.



  • Capricorn444 I have been alone my entire life even in a house full of people. I was unwanted by my mother and sisters before I was even born, I have been told my entire life I am the spawn of Satan and my mother is God's gift to the world. I have been verbally, physically, sexually, mentally abused by almost everyone in my life even teachers, neighbors, people I don't even know but others do, everyone, blamed for every d**n thing that has gone wrong since the beginning of time and I'm sure after I pass I will be blamed for all the wrong then too. All because they refuse to take responsibility for their own actions. That's my burden I have been given in my test on this earth. All I want on my life is some normalcy. Someone to love me for me; not what they can get out of me.

    I worry about my Mother because she is alone and has many health problems. She is my mother regardless of her short comings or mental disease. God gave her to me to love unconditionally but she is stubborn and the closest relative I have here. I worry and sometimes life gives you a heap when you think you can only handle a small pile; it gets overwhelming at times and you seek answers from others where you feel you can without being judged unfairly. It's okay for me to worry about her. I'm her daughter.

    Her neighbor was alone and died in her sleep only to be found be someone later. She was young and that is always hard on those who know the person that died. When someone dies and is not found until later, everyone asks why didn't someone know? why was no one a friend to this person? Why didn't anyone step in? You can only do so much when that person doesn't allow you to. My mother is my problem because I will be held accountable by some if she dies because she refuses to go to the doctor for her health problems. I have become her primary care giver because I am the only one of her family left here. It happens when your parents age, they need help so you help them the best you can even if they don't want it. It's part of being in a family regardless of how dysfunctional it is. I do what I know God wants me to do being caring, kind and helpful to others but most times I end up getting hurt and taken advantage of but I won't stop doing it, it's what my Heavenly parents want me to do - do unto others as you want them to do to(for) you. Just because others tear you down doesn't mean you should turn and do it to them or someone else. I don't believe in passing the pain like my family does.

    As for my friend he says it's all my fault but I know it's not. I worry about him because he is not thinking straight right now he is like a loose cannon and if he does to others what he did to me he will be deported and all his dreams are down the drain. He needs help but I know I can't help him he has to do it for himself. And I miss having someone to talk too, have dinner with, go places with. Like it or not others treat you differently and ostracize you when you are alone. I know it shouldn't bother me I need to be my own friend but I'm so beaten down with everything coming at once, I asked for guidance. Not pity or sympathy. Isn't that what these forums are for? Asking for guidance in bad times as well as good?

    In a world of approximately 6.9 Billion people we are not really alone but we are all in this testing ground called Earth together and we can help each other to the best of our abilities because that's what our Heavenly family would want us to do.



  • It is important that your mother sees a doctor. I'm not a doctor, so I can't diagnose her illness. However, I do get the impression that it is serious and needs to be treated. It is perfectly normal to feel responsible for our loved ones. But, at the same time, we must accept that individuals make their own choices. If your mother chooses not to address her health issues, this isn't your fault. I know you care deeply about her, despite the fact that she can be difficult at times. I'm sorry that so many bad things have happened to you at once. It can be challenging to deal with the negative events that life throws our way. Have faith and things will get better. Good luck.



  • Capricorn444-

    I believe it is important to listen to and respect all opinions. However, I find it rude that you are criticizing someone for seeking guidance from others. Help can come in many forms. If someone finds consulting the Tarot, psychics or astrology helpful, why is this bad? Some people are simply not helped by conventional therapy practices. I can tell you this from my own personal experience. Yes, we all need to stand on our own and find our own way. But, seeking guidance from others, is often a necessary part of this process.



  • Hi Seeker9, Thanks for that post. This is a safe-haven for a lot of people including myself. We need to get away from the negative.



  • Hi Marina, What's interesting about this reading is that I lost the 1st one I did for you. As your center I pulled the 7 of Coins. So, I had to re-do your reading and I pulled the 7 of coins again. So, this card must be very significant for you. You seem to be re-evaluating. Your focusing on what you have. This is an earth card and you are an earth sign. Patience is needed, long-term goals will reach fruition. What your building will grow on it's own. Are you asking yourself--is it all worth it. (It is) May have a feeling of failure as your looking back. Stay patient in your endeavors.

    You have an uncanny ability to juggle two things at once. You are balancing opposites alot. Especially opposites in different situations. This can cause problems in your future. Maybe the reason you can do this is because your so practical. In your career, you can predict problems in the future. But on a personal and emotional level, all the different choices is going to cause you problems. Your situation has actually become disordered. Separate the real from illusion. Actually, I don't have to tell you that, your quite good at recognizing the difference. However, this is what your experiencing at present. Be careful what you wish for!

    Your past shows that you have suffered a psychological battle. Don't forget this. Don't look back. I drew a major arcana card (The Lovers) w/ the 9 of Swords. Both align w/the sign of Gemini. Don't put yourself down. You have faced a choice of 2 opposites things (that is what the reading is telling you). Your lesson in the past seems to be making choices that are most harmonious for you. If you choose not to act that's a choice too. You must be completely honest w/yourself. I feel like you have probably gotten out of a bad relationship

    Your near future looks good. Again, I drew 2 major arcana cards--The World and the Fool. The World shows that you'll be fighting battles w/right decisions. You are finding your place in the big picture. I feel like your finding your place finally. You are making life decisions.

    You will almost feel like a child as you enter the big picture so to speak. Facing many opportunities. Want to accomplish many goals. Be creative and childlike. Don't take life so seriously is what I get from drawing the Fool in your future. Seeing the World thru childlike eyes.

    I can go into your other 4 cards later. I have to close for now.



  • Watergirl--you draw a mighty sword as well as pour your healing water! On a personal level--remember the "test" stage I mentioned. Ego based moments--challanges--spirit will poke you with that sharp stick--like lessons--it is the stickiest part of being a medium and healer--when to listen when to hear with inner ears when to respond or just sit on our higher "knowing". How to respond from the heart of wisdom. You are good at all this and like I said before this test never ends it comes with the territory and it is why we can't answer every request or even stay here as the energy changes and a wise empath steps away when needed--it keeps us real as our lives must be worldly not just here feeling the pull--the needs. We--You--Have nothing to prove, only the ego steps in that mucky muck. Know what you know and feel good with that. Here's a Spirit hint---did you know that just as much as our gift is REAL for some it is also a sign of mental illness? YEP! Guess where both types are likely to show up? Yep--here. Who's who? Look up under the mental illnesses--manic depression (bipolar) did you know that one of the symptoms of the manic stage of these poor souls is strong beliefs that they are psychic--all knowing--powerful with gifts--and without spirit they sttill get lucky and end up maybe being right at times because the info is out there in the cosmos BUT they are full of EGO and it comes out as grossly JUDGEMENTAL! This is fact--look it up. Every bipolar when not taking meds--and is gone into the manic stage starts thinking they are all wise--all knowing--psychic and determined to beat their better than you chests loud and make it known. Walk around these folks! They never stay long. BLESSINGS!



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  • Hi emaegf, how old are you? u sound pretty young, I'm so sorry you have been abused by many people in your life.

    Good thing you came to this forum were we (most people) are very friendly, supportive and honest.

    If you could try to find the book "Unencumbered by Baggage: An Intimate Biography of Anthony De Mello" by Carlos Valles

    it's very good and hopefully it'll be of some help to you. I hope once u read it u can feel a big weight lift up from your shoulders.

    also this website I just found has some excerpts of Anthony de Mello which might help you in your life quest. Best luck to you and keep your friends here posted about your progress in life my friend, you are not alone and will never be, don't forget that. XOXO

    http://www.demello.org/quotes.html

    "Calamities can bring growth and Enlightenment," said the Master.

    And he explained it thus:

    "Each day a bird would shelter in the withered branches of a tree that stood in the middle of a vast deserted plain. One day a whirlwind uprooted the tree, forcing the poor bird to fly a hundred miles in search of shelter -- till it finally came to a forest of fruit-laden trees."

    And he concluded: "If the withered tree had survived, nothing would have induced the bird to give up its security and fly."



  • HAPPYDoc I'm 45 but I know my maturity level is much younger. I had to find my own way in the world since my parents never taught me much while I was growing up. My mother keeps telling me she didn't know babies were born stupid and it wasn't her responsibility to educate her kids it was our own; so I go through my life trying to learn the things everyone should have learned while growing up. I basically raised myself and still am. It really helps to have others to go to on these forums and other places as well.

    I appreciate everyone here who has offered me help and guidance. I am taking all the posts, readings and taking tomorrow to reread and contemplate everything.



  • Hi emaegf, hang in there, I'm so sorry you have had a difficult life. But dont forget we are soul/spirits and our human experience doesn't determine who we are.

    We are pure essence and we are part of the universal love because that's what we are made off.

    I know it's very hard to believe but don't let past experiences determine the quality of life you will have from now on. You can do this, you are stronger than you think. I really pray you could read that book or also "Your life is in your hands" from Krisan Chopra.

    I'll be praying for you, but you are not alone and there are angels that can surround you with their love, just ask them. XOXO



  • watergirl

    it is true--people change their screennames and computers and return, usually when they are feeling aggressive and powerful again. It doesn't take long to recognize them--everyone has their own voice--way of speaking. You don't need to be psychic for that. They reveal themselves as well when they target or challenge the same people. I always crack up when someone eventually posts a "we know who you are post! On a positive note spirit shows me red roses in Feb. I see lots of red--red velvet--lush soft red things. A new man enters your life--a March connection--either Picses influence--moon? or connecting in March though feels sooner--the February vibe is strong. This man moves fast---high energy---makes quik desicions--doesn't look back. Knows what he wants--gets it. A hard to resist smile. Had strong mother connection--mom was a battleship--but with grace. He is attracted to strong woman with a creative flair and a clever tongue. He can be impatient but he is not always restless when in his bliss. He loves nature--good in the garden--loves fishing. I hear the letter J--name related or place. It's past 1am--time for bed--just popped in to tell you this. I love giving happy news--that's twice this week! BLESSINGS. PS--Spirit says "one rose" will be the sign your looking for.