I could desperately use a reading...
Hey Everybody, I was wondering if anybody out there could give me a reading? Last year, I went through a break-up that has left me sullen and empty. The break-up didnt need to happen for there was no fighting, cheating, mistrust, or abuse in any shape way or form. One day it just ended. I am a Cancer, 6-25-1982, and she is an Aquarius, 1-31-89, which according to everything I have read is a hopeless road. According to alot of the blog's on this site, being a cancerian male is hopeless in itself. I miss her with all of my soul but in fear of rejection, our distance has left us without communication for almost 5 months now. She talks and hangs out with my friends that she met through me, but I unfortunately get nothing now. I know that she is happier without me, and knowing that it is selfish of me, that really hurts. Before our relationship, I was one of the happiest and most confident people around, however as things transpired, I have grown to abhor myself...unable to even look at myself in the mirror. I have never felt so low and am just looking for a little insight, I would greatly appreciate it.
Your post caught my eye as I have been dating a Cancer male for 4 years. I am a Sagitarius which is a fire sign. Fire and water are opposites...the water can either put the water out or make steam. It is all about the perspective of the two people involved. Our signs are only one portion of what we are made up of. Do not let the blogs and forums get you down...I can definitelly say that CancerKing and several others have helped me gain further insight into the cancer I have been dating.
We split a couple of years back when I hurt his feelings by getting involved with a family matter offering advice and making a comment like I would about my own family but it didn't go over very well. In order for us to mend those wounds, we first ended up becoming friends first after I had pretty much emotionally exposed myself pretty vunerability before our split. I had to make the first steps towards mending things...once I did we both began to communicate how much we really missed each other but had not communicated while apart. We are now closer than we have ever been and I am seeing sides of him that I had only saw a small portion of before.
You say that the breakup seemed to happen for no apparent reason. Have you tried to think back and meditate on the environment and things that were happening around that time? Typically there are things that cause wedges between people some are easy to see, others that are harder to look for and see. Here are some questions you might want to ask yourself:
How much do you love this person? Are you willing to accept them as they are without trying to change them?
How much do you feel she truly cared about you? What was an underlying problem that lead to the breakup? Are these things you can work through?
Are you willing to allow yourself to be vunerable enough to approach her after no contact for 5 months to see how things are going? Even if it means setting aside your fear of rejection, and pride..
If the relationship is not meant to be, are you willing to face the hurt and allow yourself to heal?
You sound like your self esteem has taken a hit from the loss of this relationsip. The questions I have listed above are questions you will want to ask yourself and meditate on. In my circumstance with the Cancer I am dating, I came to the conclusion that I loved him enough to take that chance to allow myself to be vunerable and take that first step. Allowing someone to see my vunerability is not one of my better traits so that took a lot of growth and healing on my part as well as faith that if it was meant to be..it would be if I did my part.
Happiness does not come from other people..it is something that must be developed within. We as human beings are not perfect, so don't be afraid to forgive yourself and stop condemning yourself. When we are happy with ourselves, we attract happiness into our lives. During my time apart from the Cancer I am dating, I spent that time to grow, reflect and heal so that when I met him again we would meet again on more equal terms.
I have also been in toxic relationships...that is more tied to the type of person a person is on the inside not what sign the person is... we may love a person, but not all relationships are good for us and healthy. When I lost it all, I spent some time working on myself and am now the better off for it.
I hope this helps to provide you a starting point.