I need a Reading, my younger sisters pregnant and getting an abortion.
I said the main cause of me writing this in the title. I feel almost awkward talking about this, as if its not my place to say but seeing as its the internet and although I like to think I know a little bit about you each through reading your posts we are strangers. So here I go.
My younger Sister Mikayla(11/09/1995) has fallen pregnant and is going to get an abortion with the encouragement of my parents. I feel somewhat like its my fault, I knew she had sex and didn't think to attend to the topic earlier. My older Sister reassured me its not and told me not to blame myself. I always put trust in Mikayla and she always misuses it and yet I always help her out when shes in trouble, I am always there for her... But now that this has happened... I am almost, well, I suppose what I feel is helplessness. She has gone and gotten herself into something that I can't get her out of.
And my parents, I love my Mum and my Stepdad but... Just because I love them doesn't mean I think they are good parents. And in saying this I am not being melodramatic, my Older Sister agrees. My Mum started as a young mother though and I partly see this as the reason she parents the way she does.
But living here, with all of them and then for something like this to happen. I already felt a level of suffocation from them but this pushed it even further. I was waiting to see if I got into University before I decided to movie or not but not anymore.
I can't live here anymore, I feel bad for leaving my sister at a time like this and selfish and ashamed to be so consumed by myself and my own issues when she is going through such a thing but I can't take it anymore.
So please give me a reading, shed some light. I plan on moving back to Melbourne where my older Sister lives and maybe finding a place with her but first I must get a transfer from work so I am secured. I work at Big W and have just started at Mcdonalds(beginning to save all my pennies).
Do you see me getting a transfer with Big W or should I look for a new job? Is going to Melbourne right for me, will I find peace there? Friends? Even Love? And will 2011 be a better year for me?
And please tell me, will my sister be alright?
My name is Zara and my birthdate is 30/051992. Thankyou in advance to anyone who replies, I really need this.
Don't run away. You are not responsible for Mikayla. You are her sister, not her mother and not her keeper. But there is something you can do for her now something that only you can do. She is about to go through something that will rip at her heart for years to come. Don't bail. Go with her. Hold her hand. Wipe away her tears whether they fall that day or several days later. She will need you to hold her through the night for sleep will not come that night. Stay with her, talk with her, and help her forgive herself. You will never be more needed by your little sister than on that day. Don't run and leave her alone. She is not strong enough to do this without you. Forgive her and stay with her through this. Love her.
You'd think that's what anyone would do and I will be there for her but there is only so much I can do. I am emotionally awkward, especially in those sorts of circumstances and although its selfish and I should overcome something like it, I can't be there for her fully. I'll be there but at the same time won't. And I can't help that, I won't ignore it and I won't let her go through it alone but I can't comfort her in the way you describe, its part of the reason why I feel helpless. Thankyou though for your response.
You can and you will. And she will comfort you too. All it takes is honesty and love. You are stronger than you give yourself credit for. Just listen. You are not helpless. You are afraid you won't do the right thing or will say the wrong things. Well that's where you start. Share your fears and she will share hers. She is your sister and you are her sister. You can and you will. AND you will be darn good at it too.
Zara Please listen to Salient really NOT your fault but maybe Your calling. I KNOW...DO NOT Leave her If you can possibly step out of the fear and shame YOU both will comfort and grow together. Salient is so very right this is going to be such an overwhelming seriously hard time for her and you can feel worse if you run now. Please pray on this, stand in the strength you don't THINK YOU have and watch what happens to the bond between you and your sister from there. Please don't fear and throw the guilt, shame and awkwardness out the window . That does not belong...your love does, your bond does and your sister will never forget that.
I will try to take in all your advice and put it to action but what doesn't help the situation is the way she and my family have reacted to the situation and the way they are dealing with it. My Sister is almost casual about it, I can tell she is hurting in side but I just don't know what to say to her. I find it hard to find that words will help her in this situation but I will try somehow to help her.
It will be a few months before I leave so I will be here when she goes through everything. Still I feel helpless. My sister didn't want an abortion and I overheard my Mother encouraging her to get one, she never once even mentioned adoption. I know abortion is the easy way out but I find it so, it makes me speechless. Just this whole situation! It real and I feel as if I'm trying to ignore it.
Relax. Of course she is trying not to let it get to her. But it will. It will crush her for years to come whether she shows it or not. You don't have to have the magic words. You don't have to 'DO' anything but be there for her. Just let her know that you love her and you don't judge her for what she feels she must do. However it turns out she is a beautiful sister and you are lucky to have her. That's all you need to say. Just love her and let her know you do. You may not realize it but she sees this as a failure and your judgment of it can crush her as much as the abortion. Forgive her and help her forgive herself.
I know it will crush her and is crushing her. My Older Sister had an abortion and Mikayla and I both know about it and the way it has effected her and forever will. Mikayla knows I love her and she knows that I have trouble expressing such things. She gets the abortion next week, my Mother who's paying for it honestly seems more concerned about how much its costing and she is making Mikayla pay her back as well.
I just wish she didn't go and get herself into this sort of thing.
How are you doing MercurysBueFox? How's Mikayla? BTW, I love the name Zara. I almost named my youngest daughter Tara but my oldest daughter (2 at the time) chose Kelsey. Well, I hope all is well. Did you ever hear from the college?
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