Feangelikah, "3rd Knight"..........
Peggy, you are me, get out go to your daughter's;" we" have spent the day argueing our usual Tuesday! I'm 61 your 45, get out! later Cat Kathleen
arguing??? You and Bill? I went out last night to see them tonight "he" is home and right now he is playing a killing video game. I do however still make myself available to him if he wishes to speak or share anything.
share what you mean please that I am you......that sounds flattering. Are YOU doing ok Cat? Do you need to talk? I will be checking in. Big LOves and HUGE Hugs/ Peg
peggy, when people "respond" as old as I, it is because,
they ve been there; I /they want you, to see, before, it is too late, for you! I t may be too late, for me, but not for you; your mother, is only a couple years, older than I am; I still, have "resolution" if I can't get it for me, "I will get it for someone else"; this is why, I am here, for you; it is the same as being here, for me; is it "flattering"? yes when, I am me certainly, it "is " flattering! absolutely! when, I'am Little "MRS" whoever, not a chance! I've tried to be "objective" for you (sorta.......) but I want, to tell you "run" I want you, your daughter, to see it, for yourself: If I could be 45, today, I would SOOOOOoooo....... keep my sovereignty! but, this is about you, and trust me, I have, good reason, to help you! do I love you? absolutely! my grandmothers, are gone, but to forgive me , myself, the only way, is to try to see, that someone, else, (you) doesn't have 20 MORE YEARS, OF pain/suffering; get out Peggy! so you sleep, on the floor, for a bit; I 'am doing it now! Love Cat/Kathleen
Cat I took some time to back away from everything and evryone to my best and God showed me something as I kept saying I HAVE TO GO! He said YES, I said I am broke and still have to pay these bills AND get out.? He said you have a piano in your kitchen ( The dining table had to go so there was room for the pool table and no room in dining area for piano either) that turns 100 yrs old in Feb. I said I will call the appraisers and sellers. HMMM ? Can't take it with me in the end and no where to store it.
I am so sorry Cat I really did not know about your circumstances and now I am REALLY REALLY grateful for your love and compassion. What about you? Sleeping on the floor? What are your plans Love? It is the little MRS that shuts up and is not to say anything or do anything to make them look bad...yes we are eachother. Really Cat is it really too late for you? I don't feel you are too sure about your resolution as you say if not for you then someone else. I must remind you then love that you have another good 30-40 yrs on your lovely soul. You don't want me to submit to it but you will. Hey now you are me. hehe Cat I really HATE this feeling of being a servant in another room to keep things in order for the king. You do NOT deserve this either and it is not too late to run. Do you know who Kathleen is? what does SHE like to do? Is she happy with herself? How long have you been married?
I know earlier I said that I was afraid of what he may do...well Robert has given me many reasons to leave but he would run out first. Then 4 1/2 yrs ago he left me and my son for a few months . well one night he called me from 5hrs away and had a gun and had been doing drugs. He was going to hurt himself and I stayed on the phone thinking I was doing something right and supportive for 7 hrs talking him down. I have come to grips that he will do what ever it is he will do and ultimatums and threats can no longer work.
How funny that I had often thought you were trying to help for resolution of the marriage and I had to think hard about it but Cat there is no marriage here and looking back there never was. I don't mind the floor. God has taught me to do with nothing. In fact some of the poorest times as a child were the best. If I can sell the piano I will move them into our own home. If not then He will open another door. I am not running ..I am standing and walking out tall...I hope.
Feangelikah and Cat,
How I wish I were physically closer to you both. I have a guest room if either of you wish to visit for a little rest. I know when I was in the midst of my terrible breakup I had to leave and be alone for a week to pull my head together.
Fe, Did you know that Fe is french for faerie? I left you a message on the 'we will all be stronger' thread a while back. I have noticed that you are stronger and stronger everyday now. I think you are stretching out of the anger phase into the healing pride. That is good. Don't beet yourself up as you wobble between these two phases for a while. With this reclaimed strength you are ready to truly start your planning. When hiring employers look for strength and confidence. You are ready now. Go get em!
Cat, 61 is a beautiful age. I know, I am only 45 so what do I know? Well I know that 61 is not that far away and that I will likely live at least 40 years past that. 61 is not old. 91 is old. At 61 you are able to free yourself from the oppressive mores established by our culture for women. You can honestly not give a damn about what others think. Ya, most of say we don't but secretly we do. At 61 you are wise enough to know it doesn't matter because you will never make everybody happy, not even yourself. At 61 you have friends who will be honest with you because they don't give a damn either! I guess what I'm saying is that you seem to have declared your situation hopeless because you are 61. STOP! A very good friend of mine met her husband at 62, married, and now 10 years later still living blissfully. Love lives regardless of age. Potential always exists. Beauty is living your potential.
Salient!!! HELLO Love! i DID NOT KNOW THAT oops cap lock hehe. I chose Feangelikah because...Fea was a fair and yet firm warrior/guardian of the Tuatha De Dannan or the Fae(fairies) of the old Celtic Legends. She was well loved but everyone knew not to cross the line with her either. RESPECT and for a woman! Angelikah because I only wish to be a Light seeker. I love the old legends but God is reality. I love the old spellings so often I add the K and H for charm. lol I guess I would like to work on that confidence, strength and because of the dragon dream some fantasy is kinda fun.
My computer time has been very interrupted with life lately so I think I missed the other post. Lost in my list maybe. I will find it. I am trying to find a family member to help with "OUR" mother(I often need to remind them that she is also their mother and seriously...I had to start asking the grandchildren for help. I am trying to get a part time job as my mother should not be alone and cannot see to cook for herself. I heard yesterday that 1 of the pizza places is going to be hiring next week for 1 position. I think that means that maybe we may have a couple of jobs coming open soon. How funny that we spend so much time and money trying to get an education and then It does you no good and you start looking at fast food places that not even you can eat! hmmm? I thought that I already was pretty humbled? Note to self ...meditate on that. lol
Thank you for your offer to take sabbatical at your home. I soooo wish I could.
I did finally get to see Eat, Love Pray last night and believe it or not HE went and rented it. He sat and watch it and that was that. have to run will be back!
Cat..are you OK? I know it has only been a couple of days but a feel concern for you and want to be there for you too. I am praying for you and sending you my love. Peg