deevee last edited by
Ours - a seemingly perfect & very loving relationship of 5 years - ended abruptly this November under unfotunate circumstances. Though we were aware of the difficult situation we were in my ex's stepping back especially when we were almost about to acheive our aim, left me completely shattered. He left and I almost died!
A month of constant struggle, and tremendous affection from my family made me push myself to life again. And recently I was learning to accept this new reality of my life..... when yesterday... on the new years, I opened my mailbox to see a mail from my ex!!! He's not wished me new year's, and nothing of sorts..... but he's uttered some very sweet nothings and has claimed he loves me.... and he will always be right here..... I dont know why but reading it didnt stir any emotion in me.... not love, not anger, not hatred, nothing! Probably because I know the way I selflessly loved him, and the way things ended and his involvement in it, it really killed me!
.....I am tired with the mess but equally confused. Why is he just not letting me be? Letting me move on? If he's already married, then ours is a closed chapter for me! And now I dont know if he's being genuine, or if he's playing mind games with me..... Is it that he's feeling guilty and is just trying to lessen my pain? Or he's suffering too? In my last mail to him I had said, I would have really loved it, if he had told me things upfront. I would have consoled myself that we loved & we lost, but we loved! That his honest admission could have atleast allowed us to end things on a painful but positive note..... So is he trying to amend the end in context of my comment?? I am confused and disillusioned.... He was always very loving and gentle towards me, but now I feel I dont know him at all....
.....a stupid sob story i know..... but now I can't erase it..... Can anyone give me some insight on our situation...... his state of mind & attitude.....? His dob is 26th Feb. 1976 and my dob is 28th Feb. 1979.
Many Thanks, already!