Open to anyone or capricorn444
Hello, thanks to all addressing my first post and really thank you capricorn444.
I leave for the Air Force in two and a half weeks. I have been attending physical training with the recruiters since August this year. I have struggled to quite smoking as that has caused urges to repeat older patterns of addiction. I have cut down and have an ok standing physically. I am open to a reading about advices concerning my performance in my training. Now as it gets closer, I am doing more mental and healing prep.
I leave tommoro; Army! I wish you the best. I was onfod that some people cannot even do a pushup when the get there and that they train you for your PT. If you can at least do a mile around * min you will be ok. I recommend stretching! Lots of water too. Do three sets of as many pushups and situps you can morn afternoion and eavening. Alot of people smoke. there were smokers in my pt sessions as well. Reduce it as much as you can, be conscious of it becuase you will not smoke in training. Its good you are doing mental prep. Itsw harder to train and quit without the enforcment and encouragement so if you are making adjustments now out of self discipline you are going to be ok.
Excuse "e-shaddia" with her new identity.
Give me some time I will come up with something if you want a reading. I will formulate one for your concern.
Transition! WOW-wouldnt you know the Strength card came in as the Crown card! AS in your meditation...thats a very big message when the divine gives you a tarot card in you meditation-via your other post....:) Now here again:)
It shows you in community and unity as you resontaing as the significator ; 3 cups and your crossing card is the 3 coins-intergration! with a coins twist; we have basic training for Air force:) Building your luck in your new financial and career endeavor with "Military" community arua, your application is your crossing you-so its says you have others "sodliers" in the same boat in high spirits learning and applying new skills.
Your foundation is the 5 swords; in this demeanor its showing your personal interest, you are making social sacrifices now to be a bit "lone wolf" to be prepped to train.
You are as you have stated in your other thread; resonating the High priestess as your past influential event; healing and going within, also stillness. Seeking deeper truth.
Now you are in the King Swords Phase: your mind is adopting his logical and authoritve energy and ethical. This is now your focus prep concerning Military duties and performance.
You are about to go into(right before you) ACE WANDS: Your efforts will pay off, this is a spark of passion and adventure!
You in the situation resonate an older minded individual a leader in your pack; King Coins; Practical, astute, But SOLID and Secure,
In your environment....hmm...You have Page of Cups: DO you know a military man? This could be a person or messges of love and encouragment. I do not think its a practice of creativity and visual arts etc..as your basic training is not at all going to be allowing that. Stay on focus to your objectives.
You in the mind: Noble and looks out for the needs of others in the large sea og opinion. Diplomatic, clam and tolerant: King Cups.
Outcome: A new phase and growth of Mental focus clarity and confidence Ace Swords; good time for new endeavors and choices as you will have a greater ascension in relationships and endeavors.
Knight of Cups-new passionate energy this is a movement card-My appearance will mark your need to weed out dishonesty in your life and kill it at the source. Further, I will ask you to take this action by means of emotional intelligence. Use your ability of intuitive perception to gain the knowledge you need in the situation expressed in the cards. I may just woo you too, and invite you to entertain some spice in your love life."
Judgment-sudden realization, judgemnt call on something.....What is my highest calling?
Is it time for a transformation in my life
Am I judging others or myself too harshly?
How can I raise myself out of a gloomy situation?
Am I being honest about the way I'm living my life?
Am I listening to to my higher self and my higher power?
Am I making sound judgment in this a situation that's been on my mind lately?
Heeding a Call
10 coins-secure, permancance-tradition, long term......Strong foundation
Empathy for all the members in the group
Perspective in the present moment
Foresight for future outcomes
Diplomatic leadership (the kind that leads while enabling others to be leaders too).
You will be fine and this cycle is going to bring you much more than foundation.....communirt and new realtionships and i see you already and see you becoming a good leadership model here:)
Stay positve and keep the faith inself!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:)
Hi Transition, I did a reading for you. Let me know if you can relate.
Shows your personality is adept for your undertakings at present. You are feminine. In your recent past seems like you have dealt with blunt words or maybe had an argument. At times have felt like you are going against the wind. Your past shows a conclusion or sharp ending of things as you have experienced or done things. You are now going in a different direction. In your near future I drew the 7 of Swords and King of Swords. Says you might feel like you have to resort to something. Movement and struggle. You will meet up with authority figure doesn't figure as bad influence. I guess this person is "seasoned" in what they do.
You will have to incorporate spirituality into your everyday life as this is part of your inherent nature. It also shows you as a giving person. Shows you may not have made good use of your time or choices in time-past. You have had to choose from many options. Your choices may not seem that concete to you.
Be honest with yourself when making decisions. Maybe you know why there are so many options ahead of you or maybe there are too many. Almost seems like there are 2 different sides to you.
I like to do these readings about the person, not so much the future. The future seems to show you as being introspective and analytical. Almost like you are seeking a higher form of spirituality, which is in-line with whom you seem to be--according to the cards.
Transistion--I awoke this morning deciding on one reading today but spirit calls for you in a special way--it's as if you are not a grown woman but an innocent little girl and all around you nurturing energy is intent on healing a wrong--protecting your return to innocense.Spirit shows me a very little girl wearing a blindfold. You have a suppressed memory yet to be revealed and the missing piece that will make sense of this part of you that does not make sense. When the secret hits the light of day and you walk through that pain remember this--it is all good and on the other side you will be healed. The unveiling has begun and will come slowly--dreams--coincidences--spirit messages will come all around you. It is well guided on the other side. BLESSINGS! It is all good--remember that!
Daliolite: yes I will be subjected to authority in the air force. I have been always subjected to blunt words as well in my past. I use alot of contemplation in my choices. Sometimes months, it took 4 months to deide on going in to military. Thank you for your time
Blue moon-very interesting this ttok me by shock, I am interested. I have been living alone for alomost 5 years now and ruling my choices and so on...I am couriouse what wrong" was it wrong done to me or that I experienced, soemthing that is hidden? I am a bit confused. Any clarity on this. I have been subjected harshly to the world livng alone many years...I try to always put others first asd give them needs not desires. I am interested in learning more about this. Thank you
Capricorn: yes very concise and correct....pretty much validates my next endeavor.
Blue moon: I posted above too; last night I tried to meditate about this. The only thing that cam up in childhhod. I admit; I was exposed to some sexual molest by a step brother. I have only had sex 3x in my life and I am 25. Could that be whats hidden? My womanly femininity?
Now it it is not so hidden--it is a much bigger wound than you have been able to get validation for. Focus on connecting to that wound and the detachment as you have so much to express--to vomit out. You are ready!
So you saying its not my sexuality, do I know it? I am confused, what big wound?
wow, it sounds if blue moon hit some new info about you, did you talk to your healer about this?
Blue moon; how may transition configure what us hidden?
I feel that what once was hidden is now known...the molestation. I fear that the wound left from that has left its mark upon your life hence why that level of intimacy has been been achieved so few times. It makes sense now as to why this topic drew me at first...my daughter was molested by another child at age 2 in a daycare setting.... I can say that it can be a long process to heal from such a thing or anything that leaves such a scar or wound. It would also explain the addictive tendacies you mentioned in your past whether that just pertains to your smoking or other things as well in your past. Those tendacies tend go hand in hand with great pain.
From great wounds such as these comes great growth and great strength. Before attempting to quitting smoking, I would suggest you search deeply, allow the healing process from the wound to take its course as the urge to smoke or other addictive tendacies will increased throughout the healing process. Allow the memories, fear, anger and pain pass through you as even these emotions will need to be felt before the healing process can be complete....the vomitting it out so to speak that Bmoon spoke of....
As a person also who has underwent great healing in the past, the final piece in closure is accepting that I would not be the person I am today had I not underwent the things I did. Closure is huge before moving forward. Once the healing has taken place, then attempt to quit smoking.. strange enough I was better able to quit smoking keeping a pack with me but not touching it... So far Imve been quit for 10 days.
Meditation, healer and maybe therapy should help in the healing process...somethings should not be tackled alone..
During the healing process it is important it is important to have acceptance, forgiveness and release or closure. It means you accept what has been done can not be changed, forgive the person who did it then move forward... By releasing it, you allow your life rto no longer be contro
lled by what happened. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger....always remember that.
Once your healing is complete, then attempt to quit smoking and rememeber it usually takesmore than one try....
I truly hope this adds clarity to your questions.
Thank you grey star; I set up a post called aware and transitioning a week ago and I have since then been going to a healer and working with capricorn444. You have picked up on all that has been man ifesting and advised on the other post as well. I do thank you for seeing to the cause though. I understand why he did it,if it wasnt me in that situation it would have been someone else and I am not alone in it, it is just the cause of it that creates shame at such a young age and that carries into our actions, its was hidden and we then develope hidden actions that manifest shame.....its a recreated situation that we held on to in secrecy, sadly though I let it out at young and the counselor accused me of sexual violation when I was nearly 5! When I told her what was happening after she even pressed it out of me! That was another slap in the face and I was treated in punishment becuase of that and it was never taken serious until he got caught in the act:) Blue moon senses something , the whole in the blindfold thing got me confused a bit but it was creative wording and yes the 8 swords has come up in my reading about this healing in response to my concern on my other post.....
Capricorn444 requested my assistance with further clarification on Blmoon interpretation. I was also drawn to you post before that and now I understand why. My daughter was molested at age 2 at a daycare setting by another child and the daycare covered it up. My empath abilities helped me to know what was wrong and follow my gut instinct even though she was so young. The only option we had at her age was something called playtherapy which seemed to help her to verbalize how she felt enough to heal. A violation like that should always be treated seriously, but her therapist indicated that very often it is not.
Try not let it continue to rule your life...when we hold onto a deep wound like that...it continues to rule our life. When the healing is completed, forgiveness is achieved andit is released we become free again. I am speaking not only as an empath but also a person who held onto a violation to my heart and self rspect out of fear since I wqas 14 until I finally found closure at age 37. You must view yourself at the age and maturity you were at the time it happened not view yourself through adult eyes... I really had a hard time with that part.. I know the shame that comes out in the healing process... I have felt it as well. Once the healing is complete, you will feel a peace within you have not felt in a long time. May the strength you need and support you need in the healing process come your way.
Grey star and cap444;
Capthank you for the visualization and regression therapies. Grey star really thank you for your compassion and empathy.
I did this todayand this goes farther I think; my sense are saying that this big unfolding is in one other area around the time of the sexual abuse;
These Three Cards I drew when I asked what was the cause of the wound she speaks of.
Heirophant,, Queen of swords King of swords
This is where I am at now;
2 wands 2 swords, 6 swords
This is what will happen when it comes to light;
7 wands, strength, ace swords,
It seems as if it could be a couple or parents.....something here....do any of you see it coming to light soon?
As far is this is concerned I had a father and a step mother fro age 5-7 and then a close to mom figure, my dads girlfriend sharon at age 12 and she cam eback in my life later on, I had two people take me in for a month then throw me out after a month before I turned 15, they did make some assumptions about me that were wrong...........I do not know here exactly...........
Yes grey star your correcgt about visualization being in the form of her child. Transition; you must apply your child self to these issues and re walk the path to get understanding...You are doing well and very active in approaching this. Be sure that when this does coem to light; you will have the strength and courage to triumph; its even in the cards you pulled. I will mediitate about this and maybe greystar has some input concerning the cards.
Grey Star has explained very well. The molestation is now being discussed and already do you see how it makes sense to everyone-. Your original question was your need for an answer to your purging when you felt all the usuall reasons given did not fit you. You knew it was something else. Now when yu seek help--reveal this secret and you will heal. It really is a time of great protection and assistance for you. Seek information on the effects of molestation and you will find your answers. The effects are both physical and spiritual. Yes, it does infect your s ex uality. It affects every part of you. You enjoy education and learn easily--say a prayer at the book store or library and the right books will come--even the internet--but I feel the right book will help most. Right now people are being guided around you to help you. There are many different stages of healing and knowing that will help you walk through it faster. There will be anger, there will be pain, fear, even denial and sadness and grief--maybe a little despair but believe and have faith that it is all good and once you walk through this you will be done and will see the otherside. I feel very positive about you! BLESSINGS
Yes, I have been talking about this, much is discussed on my other post. The situation occured when I was in kindergarden, it was my step brother going through his teen years....I was appointed like all kids to the new school counselor and she kept asking questions. I relayed her the data; getting urinated on with cloths off and the inappropriate touching. She accused me : of sexual harrasment and my teacher said excuse your language(Mrs. Campell). My dad and step mom condemmed me and my step mother slappped me. Later on she (step mom) caught him in the act. They made me out to be in the wrong and to feel shamfull. It continued later on with my brothers friends, along with my step brother they would get me in a closet. It causes you to be unclear on boundary issues. Boys at 13-15 are very eager and they will do that to vulnerable. I understand and a step sister is a complete different demeanor then blood sisiter, it was more the acusation on me by the teacher, counselor and parents that was the wound. The purging has stopped and I have no audacity to return to it, its now an addictive nicotein. Now I understand the shame of body and distorted image along with the anguish and anxiety; its all connected to sexual abuse. I play the image in my head as a little girl when all actions were taking place; cap444 gave me a good healing excersize to see to it at young and see the colors that come to mind (chakra) those areas were obstructed and will tell me much about my wounded areas.
Thank you all