To The Captain



  • Hi Captain. I know better than to write about these relatiojnship things. Either they work or they don't. I'm just devestated. I became involved with a man who was really gung ho from the start. A few weeks later he let me know that he was mending from a previous relationship and had lost a lot of self sesteem and felt as though he lacked judgement aboutr who to pick for relatiojships from th experi8ence. For two months, he called me every day and night , went to breakfast and we talked about everythig. He confided in me trhings that he said he had never confided in anyone and I felt very close with hmi. He did tell me that he was getting over his heartache though and that he wanted to give our reltaionship a go but that it was going to be tough for me as he was fragile..... A few steps forward and a few back as he put it. I was ok with this and said I would give it a go. I loved his scompany, found him fun, witty, engaging and for the first time felt as though I had met someone with whom I could actually communicate on a deeper level. I thought we recently made big progress as he invited me to several close friends houses for holiday dinners and he came and stayed with my family for the holiday. He even hinted at the fact that we might be living with each other in a few months time. At the same time he pulled me close though, he would push me away and say something cold and hurtful about not being sure he saw me as relationship materual . This always happened after a BIG event when we were seen as a couple or became especially close the night before. He was also unwilling to say we were an official couple yet as he felt he wasn't emtionally ready for that. This guy has gone back and forth with me. One night telling me that he didn't see things going anywhere with us and then the next day writing a long e-mail saying that he had thought about it and realized that he wanted to give things a shot and he liked me, could confide in me and I made him laugh and feel happy. Tonight, though was different, He broke things off much moire definitely and said that he felt it was false to even try with me because he wasn't mentally ready to be in a relationship at all because he was still in love and missing his ex girlfriend so much. They had ben broken up for 7 months. I'm heartbroken, I was falling in love with him. He expressed remorse that we wouod probably not be able to stay friends after all this and i said, "yes, lose my number. Don't contact me again." Of course, I regretted that and desperately wanted to be in hi slife and make him see how right I am for him. I know we could be so good together. Anyway, I was hurt and felt betrayed. he had just stpent the holidays with my family and seemed to enjoy himself and we felt closer. I'm hurt and not sure how to move on. Do you see this one as being finally over? Do you belive trhis is the last i will truly hear from him or will he miss my contact ( we talked or saw each other every day for two months( not a long time I know but long enough to create a bond and become emotionally attached. I had suggested a few days ago that he was depressed and get therapy for that and he agreed, I said i would stand by him and support as long as he could make some kind of committment to me. He was reluctant to do that. Make a committment. he admitted that we were involved in a romantic relationshyip of some sort but was sacred of saying we were exclusive. I feel like his friends were questioning his relationship with me and this scared him. Please could you give me some insight.? What you thihk happened, could happen (if anything). Did I handle it correctly by telling him to no longer contact me. I can't help but feel like I blew thigs by pushing him to fast. I just don't now want him to have the priveledge to talk with me and gain comfort from me ( and I cheered him up and gave a lot of comfort and listened) without my getting a return. I'm so heartbroken. Please help with any insight if you can. I juist can't believe I will move forward from this and meet someone else who i feel as comfortable and easy with. It was so natural and fun and inspiring to be with him. He is the first man EVER who I have felt was an equal as far as topics of conversation, intellect, deepness fo thought etc. I truly though he could be "the one" ridiculou sas that may sound. It is really over? Will he miss me and call me and want to try again? Should I give space and then call him? Do I just leave it alone and let the whole thing go? Will he experience remorse? At times I feklt he was in love with me, despite what he said or if he pushed me away, If it IS over, will I meet someone else and how? I need comfort BIG time on this one. I'm hurting. I know we've all been there. Thank you.



  • By the way...not if it matters but he was a Gemini May 24 and i am a libra October 1.