Help getting back with my cancer ex boyfriend



  • I had a long distance relationship with a cancer guy for 3 months, he was really interested in me at the beguinning and after a week of knowing me while he was on hollidays sent me a ticket to the country he live to go and see him. He convinced me to go there and live with him. He was calling me 3 or 4 times everyday.

    But by the time i should have gone to live with him he was not getting apartment and told me he needed to think.

    He told a mutual friend i asked too much (when he was the one trying to make me go with him all this time) and he was not sure if he wanted soemthing so serious but that he loved me.

    I was hurt and broke up with him (that was 1 month ago) and delete him from the messenger. He sent me 3 days after the break up a message telling me why i delete him and that he did not like it, and i did not answer untill 5 days later, then he did not reply.

    After another 5 days i asked him if he still love me? and he answered maybe yes but he was not sure.

    I used as an excuse that he has some clothes of mine to contact him asking him to send, but out of 5 messages i sent him he only answered one saying he will answer when he sees me on messenger again as he did not like i delete him.

    I add him again but he did not acceptme in 1 week... i sent him a message telling him to stop games and sent my jackets and that i did not understand why he wanted me to add him on messenger if he was not going to accept my request, he called me that night to say he didnt go on computer for a week but i had very bad luck and was in the shower and my room mate picked up my phone.

    After that he did not reply my messages again, and he is not coming on messenger much.

    2 days ago he asked a mutual friend on messenger how i was, she told him i was fine and going to russia, he asked how come and she says on hollidays.

    Then he asked her if i still love him, she replyed why wheter he still love me, and he says NO but what about me?

    My friend told him if he did not love me why he cared, and he sayd she was right and it does not matter anymore, that he love me but is not in love with me and that now he only wants to center his life on making money and dont want anyway to distract him from the way....

    I dont undertand his behavier at all... can his sign explain something? Can you guys help me to read him and what to do to get him back?



  • I feel for you. It sounds like he's a less evolved, manipulative Cancer. How old is he? That could explain why he may be--though not definitely--more interested in the chase than an actual relationship. Resist playing the same games he does. Tell him straight up you do love him, but won't abide playing games, and that you're okay with the fact he needs to focus on money now (if you are). Give him a call and tell him this if you can get him on the phone. If you get his machine, ask him to call as soon as he can.

    Deep down, all Cancers are very sensitive and afraid of getting hurt. Cancers often do strange things to get their loved ones to "prove" (for lack of a better word) to them that they love them. Unlike, say, Pisces, they won't say when they're hurt (and he undoubtedly was if you deleted him). I hope this helps. Just wondering--what is your sign?



  • Thanks Junemoon, he is 30.

    I am not ok with him needing to focus on money or whatever if that means not being with me. I dont know if he is playing games or why he behaves like this... and i was playing games back so i am embarassed to call him and tell him i love him after he told my friend he is not in love with me anymore... and maybe he really is not in love with me anymore and i just end up making a fool of myself and he telling the poeple, cos he already have been talking as if i was very in love with him and he not that much, thats why i got ungry and delete him.

    But i dont know why he wanted me to add him again cos he never comes online anymore.

    I am Taurust



  • Sorry to take so long to reply, and happy new year. As a practical, straightforward Taurus, you have a hard time sometimes understanding his mood swings and behavior (though you do better than most). I really think you should tell him that you love him and don't want to play games. He may not know this and maybe doesn't want to make a fool of himself either. And if it turns out he is a jerk, who cares what he thinks about you? Anyway, he will sound silly (and mean) if he goes around saying "She was in love with me!" And, if you tell him, you can be at peace knowing you did all you could, and the ball's in his court. Good luck, and best wishes! 🙂