• We keep beating this dead horse!

  • Ok, so i've read through all of this. Every last oh and sooo and here's my bit tagged on and my only bit.

    Yes this happens to me all the time too with a guy i work with who is a friend also.

    Yes we almost became more than friends in the beginning but circumstances were difficult because he was in turmoil emotionally. Our friendship has been tested to the limits but we decided we need each other all because these things keep on happening.

    The only conclusion i can draw from it all is as someone else mentioned, synchronicity.

    We were meant to go through the tests of the relationship and we're stronger because of them.

    Whether we will ever have a physical relationship is unknown but we do have a soul connection, meaning we are soul mates.

    I have female soulmates too but i'm not gay.

    Do you see now Nefertiti where this could be leading for you and this guy?

    As the others say here, you have to go with the flow and let things happen naturally.

    Trying to force things along will only have adverse effects and hurt you or both.

    If it's going to happen between you it will probably happen when you least expect it and when you're not actually thinking of him at all. That's because you've broken the link with his soul and he'll need to find that link again. Let him come to you and he will.

    Verdana 🙂

  • Thankyou Verana and everyone I am indeed doing nothing if it wasnt meant to be I will find out in time. Will probably learn from it too.

    Libraslair I think u have been rather rude this is a very emotive subject for me and I have been listening to advice from all of you. I am not acting like a kid I am actually very mature its just that this has never happened to me before. I have not run head into anything that is the whole point I have kept my distance accepted it is unliklely to happen and appreciate this this might not be.

    I may have only physically met this man a few times but he has been texting emailing written me cards and letters and phoned me on many occasions over the months. So ok I have not met him a lot but that is the whole point of what I have been asking.

    i have been taking on board what you are all saying and its not puppy love. I am far too mature and experienced for that.

    I thought this was a safe forum where you could be honest. I do feel pretty low and vulnerable at the moment and your comments have hurt me. Some people say you can meet someone a few times and you know straight away etc..

    So dont worry I wont flog this dead horse anymore.

    I can clearly see that you have lost patience in which case why reply at all.

    Please remember as well that when you refer to me in the third person as 'she' I am reading this site too you know!!

  • Well see you omitted a lot of information didn't you? Now you add to it. But you were going on like a school kid. And I wasn't the only one who felt that. I say he needs to step it up if he is interested and you would be wasting your time if you set and wait for the phone to ring. Go out and see what else life has to offer. Or you may continue to be disappointed. There are more fish in the sea. Don't you think your worth more than a few cards. Actions speak louder than words. This isn't a lovelorn column either. And what else didn't you tell us. Why hasn't he asked you out? I he living in another town or state or is he married?There is 3 pages of help here.

  • if you think it's a dead horse then why don't you just go to other subjects in the forum. my response was right before your dead horse comment, and it was the first time i'd even left a message in this forum. are you trying to discourage newcomers? you seem to have a very jaundiced view of romantic relationships, and maybe for good reason. i myself am divorced, and certainly not a romantic (being an Aquarian) but i totally believe in love at first sight- it worked out for me (the 2nd time around)

  • To Nikhaeli

    well thank you for your support and for your reply. I really appreciated it. I guess last night I was a bit upset by LibraLair's response but I have calmed down since then. LL I was not using this as an agony column or acting like a kid I simply was asking whether there are messages from beyond (or maybe from someone you have lost to the spirit world) or whether you see these things because you are thinking about this person a lot.

    I didnt expect to get such a scathing reply. Yes other people have told me they think I should forget it but they have done so in a nicer way ie 'sorry to say this but'

    I am a Taurean i can be incredibly blunt but I would not be deliberately hurtful.

    Of course I value other peoples thouuhts but you need to remember that some people who have joined this forum my be hurting or going through some kind of upset in their lives so you need to choose your words carefully.

    Clearly love at first sight has never happened to you that doesnt mean you can dismiss it as rubbish or say someone is acting like a love lorn kid because of it.

    Yes maybe I did not specify about letters emails but at the time i didnt really think I needed to as the topic was more about am I getting definite messages or is it because I want to see them.

    Yesterday it happened again 3 different signs all associated etc.

    If you feel you have given your response and the debate continues as Nik says why not go to a different site instead of making negative and sarcastic comments.

    i am newcomer to this site and to be honest I dont feel confident in raising another topic for fear of the same criticism levelled at me.

    I am not immature I have suffered alot of bereavement and family trauma in my life and actually feel I have come out a balanced and stronger person for it.

    So Verdana faeryof thewilds Nikhaeli thank you all.

    LL life is too short to fall out but honesty is one thing total rudeness and a lack of understanding about someone's predicament is another.

    And no he is not married he was badly hurt he told me he wants to gte over it and move on but he is finding it hard etc...

    Clearly you dont believe in love at first sight .... well you know what there are people who do.

    This is a forum where we should be able to speak up without fear of reprisal or being made to look small hope so I hope you feel better now. And I guess that has killed the whole conversation stone dead so the horse is well and truly dead now as you say!!

  • Hi, Okay, My turn. Anything is possible in the realm of love, and here is the proof. In 2000, I kicked a man who had been in my life for 7 years, I had just had enough of his BS, and I was not sad when I finally got him to realize I was serious and to go. After I shut the door behind me it was like, Thank God Thats Over!!! I had decided I was done with relationships for a while.

    It was five months later, One of my dogs had barked all night long and I wanted to apologize to my neighbors for the noise, one of the reasons I did not stop her barking is because there was a rapist in our area and although I did not personally know the neighbor to my left, I knew there were young girls living there (16 and 18) and the rapists MO was to slip into a house thru a window attack these women in their beds and flee right after, he put something over thier faces so they could not identify him. Well, when my dog was barking like crazy and kept going over to the left side of my house, and I knew the dog had something cornered (A german shepard) I thought she might have someone trapped but it was in the middle of the night and I couldn't see so I let her keep whoever was there trapped until morning.

    At 6:00 when the sun came up I finally had a chance to go over to the left side of the house and saw what my dog had cornered, a racoon, that's right I stayed up all night and went to work the next day exhausted because of a racoon. I had absolutely no energy that morning as I got ready for work, so I did the bare minimum.

    When I got home from work, I looked terrible, you could definately tell I had been up all night.

    Now back to the original point of my story, it had been five months since I kicked that idiot out of my lfe. I was ready to just be single.

    I decided to go over and apologize to both my neighbors to my right and my left. I went to the right first and they said no problem they did not hear a thing.

    Then I went to my left, and the most gorgeous man answered the door. It looked like he was about my age, and I was kicking myself for not fixing up a bit before I went over. Anyway, I explained the whole thing to him and he said he had not heard anything either, but, thanked me for apologizing. I turned around and went home, My 16 year old son was sitting at the kitchen table doing homework, table and I joked around with him I said, "Excuse me, why did you let me go next door without telling me about the beautiful man that lives there. Look at me I look like a train wreck." We both laughed and I decided I was going to bed, then came a knock on my door. I answered it and it was my gorgeous neighbor. He asked me out on a date, he asked me to marry him 4 months later. We are going on our ninth aniversary of meeting, and in July we will be married for 7 seven years.

    I do beleive in love at first sight, we have never been apart since that first time I knocked on his door to apologize. He treats me like a queen and I have never been happier.

    Libra's Lair, loosen up a little you might miss something really good in your path if your overly cautious.

    Nefratiti, follow your heart, anything and everything is possible, don't let people get under your skin, you are blessed with vision and faith, sadly most are not and they don't understand people like us.

    Good luck and keep us posted!!!

  • Myviewpoint ......well thankyou 4 that. I guess that is my whole point ....that I do have faith and signs are there all around but I was wondering if it was just me willing them to be there or whether they mean something.

    The other strange thing is that when I think to myself right stop it this is not going to happen and I focus on sometthing entirely different then I suddenly see another sign a name or a road sign or reg plate or something and I think oh go away I am trying not to fool myself.........wish these thoughts and possibly false hopes would go away.......

    Oh well .... we will see but thank ufor your story its made me feel better!!

    A happy ending 4 u.. and hope 4 us all.

  • I must be one stupid aquarian b/c I beilevein the signs happens all the time and I love romance and sure would like to know all about the cards or whatever has to say about me and my leo getting together and making it permanent. Thanks!

  • flwpwr

    hm not sure I know much about Aquarians but Leos I do know a bit more. Get a copy of Linda Goodman's loves signs it will give you a bit of a start ok it might be a bit general but she will tell you the ins and outs and she does tell it like it is.

    Thank goodness another person who believes in the signs I thought I was going mad

    good luck and let us know we need happy endings!

  • Hi Nefratit,

    For the past few years I had been shifting over to the atheist frame of mind. If you had asked me last year about this I would have just said they were mere coincidences and that you mind was just trying to find connections because that's what we do as humans - we connect things and events because it makes up feel part of the larger picture.

    But now I just don't know anymore. I've been a happilly married man for close to eight years now. I left behind friends and everything to be with her. And now outside of family only I have no friends and that never really bothered me.

    Two months ago I had the most surreal dream. I rarely dream, at least anything that I ever remember, unless something majorly important is changing or about to change in my life. But in this dream there was the most beautiful woman I had ever seen in my entire life, amost angelic. She had thin flowing dark hair and her face was olive skinned and her features almost elven like and of ethnic origin. There was a warm sweet scent I couldn't place. She wasn't taller than me but seemed to be either floating above me or standing upon something because she had to lean down to reach me. And when she did she kissed me. We aren't talking wet dream kiss either. I mean that warm tender kiss of two souls connecting on a higher plane. Where the rest of my body felt chilled in contrast to the warmth of her kiss. I had never felt so alive in my entire life than in that one moment.

    When I woke I could still taste and feel the warmth of her lips, still smell that sweet yet unidentifiable scent. It stayed with me for several days after, all of it. At that moment I knew something inside of me had changed and had been awoken. I started seeing all the things I had blinded myself to in my marriage and realized I was not with the one I was meant to be.

    I had no friends to talk to about this without looking completely crazy - my wife had completely shut off my social life except for a small handful of acquaintances from a small online gaming community I used to run. And I fought with this feeling for over a month. And I had to keep asking myself why I let a dream like this get to me so much.

    In an act of desperation to find people to talk to I signed up for an online chat service. Keep in mind I wasn't looking for anything romantic, just a friend to listen to my troubles. After three weeks of bouncing around different rooms I had found maybe three people who had even came off as remotely genuine. I've learned that most people who visit those chat sites are only looking for one thing and it wasn't what I was looking for. All but one of those people turned out to be a complete fake or someone I couldn't connect with or someone that didn't want to listen.

    The one that was genuine I connected with more than I ever expected to. Talking to her was almost like talking to myself. After a while of chatting we exchanged first names and I was shocked that her real was the same exact name I had given to the woman in my dream. A week later we exchanged pictures and my jaw almost literally hit the floor. That's right she was the woman I had dreamed of two months earlier. The other strange thing I realized today was that her ex-bf had dumped her over something really really stupid almost exactly two months ago, right around when I had that dream.

    I've really been struggling to find the coincidences in this, my atheist nature and all... but now that's broken and I've yeilded to fate.

    So now my biggest struggle is how to get out of the marriage I'm in to be with the person fate has apparently destined me to be with. In a way that hurts my wife and child the least. My wife isn't a bad person and has always been good to me. We've just grown apart and I've come to realize in the last two months how different we really were and how selfless I have been not realizing how much of myself I had sacrificed - who I was even. I've also accepted that even if things don't work out with my dream girl, this is a step I need to take because in the end I'm not happy where I am now.

    So yeah, signs do exist, fate does exist. Follow your heart. And to quote one of my all time favorite movies (Everafter with Drew Barrymore) Da Vinci tells the prince "You can't leave everything to fate boy, sometimes she needs a little nudge."


  • BSD

    wow what a lovely message. I have just got in from work so I will read this again later and reply to you

    So, dreams do come true .... I honestly was beginning to think I was going mad most days 3 signs associated with the man I want and every time when I am trying to forget him... I thought maybe just because I want to think there are signs etc...

    Well you are blessed..truly so I guess for you choices to make etc...hmmmmmmmm v interesting and inspiring I will read this again later


  • Hi Nefratiti, If not for the signs and excitement anticipation and chemistry and the connection of our all our senses extended to each other and perhaps in higher frequencies.... well then a boring world in deed this would be. Let's stir up some positive energy, love and light blessings to all whose heart is open. ps Thanks for kind recommendation I have put it on my list

  • BSD

    Live the dream and dream the life is my motto I try to hold to and much thanks for help from my friends and encouraging stories that nudge me along during those trying and tiring times when I need reminding.


    It sounds like you have read the book called The Secret. I have the book and DVD and take from it the nudge I need, from time to time, as well.

    I firmly everyone has a spiritually completed equal and maybe this life is like a big puzzle and we are a counterpart seeking to reconnect and just maybe we are shown a little help along the way, maybe when we our intentions come a place that we reset in priority, say heart/spirit/mind/body maybe we are set on that path to get it right, if nothing else perhaps we will at least have some improved senses to take in more frequencies, fine tuned.

    Less I keep rambling I will shush now.


  • ps I wish you good will and much success with time you need to make your decisions all the best. xoxo

  • Hi Nefratiti

    I have been reading your story and I have had/ am hainvg a similiar experience. It has been going on for over a year and I have only met this person on and off. I am don't talk to them on the phone or txt etc. Have only seen them in the flesh on and off on a few occasions. I won't get into the whole situation, but like you it has driven me a bit crazy at times - with name coincidences, topics etc. But because of the duration I have kinda surrendered it to the universe. That if something will happen it will. Unlike you, I have had reservations about the guy involved so I haven't always felt like I have manifested the signs around me. I feel at times he has sent energy my way. But as a Gemini I tend to over think things..but i agree that it is probably ones guides talking to you when you get these coincidences.

  • BSD,

    you have been truly blessed and although there might be upsetting times ahead because of the marriage split, ask and trust that the right partner will be found for your wife also and it shall be. He might already be there too.

    I wish you happiness and for your wife and daughter too.

    Verdana 🙂

  • I just want to say follow your heart , loved your story . I wish it came true for me . I also like so many on this post , have had signs like see is name every were . Also the years we were together (70's) shows cropped up on Tv , songs back in the day and dreams lots of dreams . Then a phone call suddenly from him or an e-mail . I was so hopeing , just to be in the same room with him for 5 min . just to see him would have been enough . But I know it will not happen . 34 yrs , have never gotten over that man . And life goes on .

    Go with it no matter what . Life is so short . Its time to make your life happy . Your wife and child will go on like so many of us . Some one always gets hurt , its part of the world .

    Good luck and let all of us know how it turns out . Wish it was me .

  • Mega123

    well thankyou for your reply sounds like you are in a similar situation to me.

    i am a mature woman but these feelings i have for him are very real and I just cant help the way i feel about him its madness.

    The most bizarre thing happened to me I hit a really low spot and he did go out of my mind for a while. Yesterday i sstarted thinking about him again and then 3 signs came out of the blue 2 names and a comment made by someone unconnected to him using a phrase he uses. Then one of my horoscopes said if you distance yourself too much you may never get what you want so now may be the rime to make your move.

    I ist weird cos his friend is in a spot of trouble at work and I am this person's welfare support. I have never used this to get to the man I am interested in at all in fact to the friend I am helping I have never mentioned him at all. but I need to see this person (his friend) next week so I will have to go to where the man I like's workplace and face him for the first time in 6 weeks so it will be strange but in a away i am kinda glad now that I backed off as he wont have heard from me for ages so it wont at least look I am desperate to have a relationship or anything.

    Well like you really I have entrusted it to the universe. it is my birthday on 15th and suddenly out of nowhere feel upbeat confident and a bit fatalistic and I have actually started to think of reasons why we may not have succeeded in a relationship whereas I had never done that before!

    hmmmmmmmmmmmm interesting. I hope you get the luck and love u deserve well lets see it may be the gods it may be the angels we will find out one day


  • BSD

    I should have replied sooner as you sent me such an inspiring reply but recently I spiralled into a real black spot it came from nowhere. I didnt want to even turn on my computer and more or less went to work and then came home and crawled under the duvet. I feel better now at last. My birthday soon and strange but every year the same thing happens to me I hit a massive low then towards my birthday a huge lift upwards its quite amazing.

    Well your dream sounds amazing. I do hope it all works out for you.

    I wonder what has happened in your life and how things are working our for you. i hope you let us know.

    The drean you had was truly incredible and I just cannot imagine how you must have felt when you realised the lady you were talking to was the actual lady from your dreams..... so yes this has given me hope but please let us know the outcome.

    You might read my post above. Maybe fate that I was asked by my boss to look after the man I like's bestfriend at work although I have never used this its kind of a connection and the other day i had to email him the date of something and he said oh by the way**** says hello and how are you?? So well we will see.


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