Just wondering

  • what my ex thought about the conversation we had the other day concerning our son? I wondered if he wanted to sit in the car with me? What was going thru his brain when he seen me?

    I also sent him a follow up email a day later and am wondering if he will take what I told him to heart or if he will just ignore the fact that I am trying to help him?


  • Readers need something of his and yours to tune into - like your photos or birthdates.

  • Thanks Captain.

    Met 11/10/1987

    Married 4/24/1993

    Separated 11/11/2007

    Divorced 2/3/2009

    I am a scorpio and he is a taurus

  • Not your dates of meeting or parting, but your actual dates of birth.

  • 10/23 me

    5/2 him

  • Hi Lostascanbe,

    Sometimes a person is blind to a situation because they aren't emotionally mature or stable enough to see it. They are running from something inside and until they stop running and face themselves. Women are generally more in tune with emotional needs of children.

    Fathers sometimes take years before they "get it", and perhaps one day he will look back and appreciate what you have spoken to him.

    That you wonder how he feels about being with you says that you still care. You will always care, because that's what happens when we allow our hearts to become involved with another human being. However, you have been divorced two years...and perhaps it is time for you to consider how you feel, and whether you need to move on emotionally. What he does and feels concerning his son is his journey, and until he is ready for growth he will not recognize what you are saying.

    The fact that you don't know how he feels about what you've said indicates he's choosing to keep his thoughts private. Keep it in your heart for now, and down the road you may be able to share more.

    Keep the love and caring for your son and yourself in the forefront above all else.

    May god bless your path. Knowledge comes first, then wisdom when we understand,then growth because of our understanding.

  • Until they stop running, and look inside themselves, and reflect, can they grow. 🙂

  • This relationship is easier for friendship than for love. Your ex was likely awed by your mental ability and proud to be in a relationship that gave serious consideration to his own thoughts. This relationship is very much at home in the world of ideas and ideoologies. Both of you bring to it a bias for the kind of conceptual thought that is geared towards the pragmatic - this can be a powerful unifying force. Innovation can be a positive offshoot of the relationship, making it a good combination for business or group endeavours, especially. In a personal relationship with each other, you two are apt to find the relationship somewhat hard to pin down or define.

    You Lostascanbe, may have a tendency to criticize or denigrate your ex's ideas and he will take such attacks very personally. This can cause great upset. In marriage or romance, somewhat similarly, your passion and emotionalism can leave your partner behind on the plane of physical sensation. And your energies, somertimes erupting cataclysmically out of control in the form of scathing or sarcastic commentary, can hurt, bewilder or even frighten your more stolid and calm ex-partner who may retreat in confusion or simply be immobilized in a state of shock. During your time together, he probably often lived in fear of your explosions as he has a deep need for peace and quiet in his home life to balance out any stress in his professional life. Your temperaments are far too different to get along well together for very long. Even now after the divorce, he will be very wary of upsetting you or triggering another blast of your sarcasm. On the positive side, your relationship was probably very good at providing strong economic security with a shrewd use of your funds occuring on a daily basis.

    Friendship is best for two such different personalities - many of your strengths can manifest without the accompanying emotional turmoil of an intimate relationship. The power struggles and sexual conflict of love and marriage do not come into play in friendship and can be much more pleasurable, stable, psychologically supportive, and intellectually interesting.

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