Hans Wolfgang, Can you please lend your knowledge?
I've been dealing with internal and external conflicts. The internal conflict that is plaguing me the most is the desire for love. I find myself giving my never-ending love to many people but never recieving it in return. I think that maybe I hold so many people high in my eyes and I want to feel the same kind of....worship? I feel like my life is heading nowhere.
May you please give advice on how I can fufill my hearts deasire? Please and thank you.
My DOB is Feb. 23, 1997.
I think that maybe I hold so many people high in my eyes and I want to feel the same kind of....worship? No.
May you please give advice on how I can fufill my hearts deasire? By keeping the balance between give and take. Look for symmetry in your relating.If you want something to receive, give something, if you want something to give, take something too.
My DOB is Feb. 23, 1997: this literally means a 'union of hearts'. This speaks of your close relationships, including lovers, married partners, or closest friends. If you are desiring a relationship this could be the best possible year to have since it is one of the strongest love affair years. It can also mean time spent with dear friends or family members. Even the birth of a child can show up since the pairing of a mother with a baby can be much like a love affair. You can be certain that you will be spending some time with someone you love.
But without love you cannot flower. Without love you
cannot attain any joy; you cannot be happy. And you
cannot love because love looks like giving something.
It is a giving, wholehearted giving of all that you
have, your being also. You cannot give love, you cannot
receive love. Then what to do? But you hanker, as
everybody hankers for love. It is a basic need just
like food. Without food your body will die and without
love your soul will shrink. It is a must.
I grasp the concept. So, should I be more open to people? Or should I seek love or let it find me? Or should I do both?
Also, is it too early for me to be looking for a soulmate and someone to spend my life with?
Thank you so much!
So, should I be more open to people? Yes.
Or should I seek love: no.
or let it find me? yes.
Or should I do both? No.
Also, is it too early for me to be looking for a soulmate: no
and someone to spend my life with? no.
But from the very childhood you have been distracted
from the body, you have been taken away from the body.
The child is crying, the child is hungry and the mother
is looking at the clock because the doctor says that
only after three hours is the child to be given milk.
She is not looking at the child. The child is the real
clock to look at, but she goes on looking at the clock.
She listens to the doctor, and the child is crying, and
the child is asking for food, and the child needs food
right now. If the child is not given food right now you
have distracted him from the body. Instead of giving
him food you give him a pacifier. Now you are cheating
and you are deceiving. And you are giving something
false, plastic, and you are trying to distract and
destroy the sensitivity of the body. The wisdom of the
body is not allowed to have its say, the mind is
entering in. The child is pacified by the pacifier, he
falls asleep. Now the clock says three hours are over
and you have to give the milk to the child. Now the
child is fast asleep, now his body is sleeping; you
wake him up, because the doctor says the milk has to be
given. You again destroy his rhythm. Slowly, slowly you
disturb his whole being. A moment comes when he has
lost all track of his body. He does not know what his
body wants -- whether the body wants to eat or not eat,
he does not know; whether the body wants to make love
or not, he does not know. Everything is manipulated by
something from the outside. He looks at a Playboy
magazine and feels like making love. Now this is
stupid, this is mind. The love cannot be very great; it
will be just a sneeze, nothing else, an unburdening. It
is not love at all. How can love happen through the
mind? Mind knows nothing of love. It becomes a duty.
You have a husband, you have to make
love -- it becomes a duty. Dutifully, religiously,
every night, you make love. Now the spontaneity is not
there. And then you are worried because you start
feeling it is not fulfilling you. Then you start
looking for some other man. You start thinking
logically, "Maybe this man is not the right man for
me. Maybe he is not my soulmate. Maybe he is not made
for me. I am not made for him, because he's not
turning me on."
So, when your mind is damaged, you tend to lead with your body, which is bad?
But if I don't look for love, how will I find it?
Or if I want a soulmate, why shouldn't I look for one? It's kind of contradictory. I feel as though I will suffer with and without love. But without love, life is meaningless.
I know I should be more open to people but it's hard because you never know how others are going to respond. I'm more of a listener than a talker.
So, when your mind is damaged, you tend to lead with your body, which is bad? No.
But if I don't look for love, how will I find it? By finding your inner equilibrium, being in balance, temperance.
Or if I want a soulmate, why shouldn't I look for one? Because you are looking always for the extraordinary instead of living intuitively.
Drop the I
and he is no more a thou. In fact, suddenly the poles
disappear and the energy is one. Here he disappears,
there you disappear, and the energy is one.
How can I find my inner balance, if I can't control my outer one?
It seems too hard to do. I've tried to find inner peace with myself but it also seems like once you address one conflict and move forward, another conflict arises and pulls me 5 steps back. I'll always be in a never-ending battle to reach the finish line.
Also, I've been thinking about telling my mother that I need medication for a mental disorder but I don't know when the right time is. She is sensitive & I dont want to make her worry more than she has too. Everytime I think it's time to tell her, it's the wrong time. I would have to explain to her why I think I need this medication and that's kind of hard for me. What do you think I should do? Her DOB is Nov. 26, 1974. Thanks!
How can I find my inner balance, if I can't control my outer one? By dropping your identification with your will power.
What do you think I should do? Go for it, as fast as you can, maybe to someone else, who can do this for you.
Her DOB is Nov. 26, 1974: she has a quest for the truth about love and relationships. She is an old soul who has come here to reach the highest in these areas, "or else". She has come to complete a grand cycle in her soul's work and to let go of many things so that she may progress to the next level. She must learn to let go of all personal attachments and give to others without expectation of return or reward. On the low side, she can be preoccupied with many suspicions and jealousies, which is but a reflection of her own nature. On the high side, she can make great personal sacrifices for others and give much to the world. She must find some way to give to the world to attain peace and satisfaction. This usually manifests as teaching or consulting. She must learn to give and let go or suffer great pain and disappointment. She is a giver of knowledge and love and can reach the highest.
You need concentration: concentration means focussing the mind on one
subject, on one object, not allowing the mind to roam
here and there, forcing it, excluding everything else
except the object on which you want to concentrate.
But she's kind of intimidating in a way. Also, if I get someone else to tell her, it would make her feel like I don't respect(?) her enough to tell her how I really feel. I want to tell her how I feel but from my developing stages (ages 5 to now) she always told be that I dont feel the way I do. She has told be that she doesn't care about my feelings but she expects me to share that. I secretly loathe her but also love her at the same time because she is my mother.
What am I supposed to do?
Also, a lot of my friends come to me for advice. They seem to be more self-interested. They rarely ask me how I'm feeling or anything. How can I make them see that even though sometimes I may have the answers, that I need time to express myself too?
if I get someone else to tell her, it would make her feel like I don't respect(?) her enough to tell her how I really feel: yes.
. I want to tell her how I feel but from my developing stages (ages 5 to now) she always told be that I dont feel the way I do: yes, that´s how one creates in a child schizophrenia.
What am I supposed to do? Find the balance between your inner woman and your inner man, your activity and your receptivity, your yin and your yang.
How can I make them see that even though sometimes I may have the answers, that I need time to express myself too? By dropping the seduction and dependencies outside of you.
It is a very complicated phenomenon and you will have
to be very subtle about it. The first thing -- it is
none of your business. You should not
have any attitude about it, because who are you to
decide? And why should you decide? You should keep out of it. Because there
is no way to decide from the outside.
Sometimes you confuse me and I dont fully understand. You tell me what to do but I dont know how to do it.
I am saying all this so that its opposite also
becomes clear to you.
While experimenting with the mind on concentration, the
second danger is that at first the mind will try to
induce thinking -- which is convenient for it, being
its nature; but if this did not happen and you remained
insistent upon concentrating, the second thing that can
happen is that, in the absence of thinking, instead of
moving into meditation you will fall asleep because as
soon as thinking stops, it is an old habit that you fall
You make my brain hurt, no offense.
"While experimenting with the mind on concentration, the
second danger is that at first the mind will try to
induce thinking..." I don't understand that. Why would the mind induce thinking? When I clear my mind, I usually concentrate on a sound and then everything starts to fade away.
Wait, I understand now! Sometimes thoughts can keep you up at night. That's not concentrating. But when you clear your mind of all thoughts, there is nothing to keep your mind working, so your body automatically relaxes and you fall asleep.
"I am saying all this so that its opposite also
becomes clear to you." I don't understand that. Are you telling me things so that I know the other .... side(?) to it? Can you elaborate?
Sorry to ask so many question but I'm really curious. Plus, if you dont ask questions, you wont get answers.
Why would the mind induce thinking? Because he would not tolerate his being defeated.
So many people, in the name of meditation, go on
sleeping and enjoying a nap. Sitting in meditation,
they go on dozing. It is not their fault. They do not
know what is happening. They are trying to concentrate
and in the effort to concentrate two misfortunes can
happen: either thinking may begin or, if that does not
happen, sleep may begin.
So you have to avoid thinking and sleeping as well.
These are the two ditches, and in between the two is
Are you telling me things so that I know the other .... side(?) to it? Yes.
Can you elaborate? Your work is mostly mental and
sleeplessness becomes your main suffering. You
are busy thinking and deliberating the whole time,
your thinking continues non-stop even at night and
you are unable to fall asleep.
if you dont ask questions, you wont get answers: right!
On the borders of the city,
On the banks of the river,
An ascetic of the Kaliyuga
Lights the fire of mortification.
He makes amulets –
A modern-day creator of destiny.
A few days ago, a boy came to him
Weeping as he spoke:
“I have addled my brain
For three years past
And still I have failed my BA.
Give me a talisman, please,
So this year I may succeed.”
The fakir replied:
“Drink milk to bring more sharpness to your brain,
Live life a little more fittingly.”
The boy answered:
“Milk! Ah, milk should be easy,
Because we have a cow,
But for the past three years
She too gives no milk.”
The fakir replied:
“My dear friend!
Take these two talismans,
Put one around your neck,
And the other around the cow’s.”
The boy departed.
But by sheer coincidence
The lockets were somehow exchanged.
The cow wore the boy’s locket,
And the boy wore the cow’s.
This mistake was the ruin of the boy,
The cow passed her BA.
But the boy weeps to this very day
While in the sweetmakers’ shops
He carries the milk pails.
I see now.
I think I understand a little.
But what does that have to do with finding inner peace?
But what does that have to do with finding inner peace? Peace is an invitation, you have just to follow.
The wild geese
Do not intend to make their reflections.
The water has no mind
To receive their images.
This haiku is so beautiful. Wild geese not intending to make
their reflections, and the water not intending to
receive them either, and yet the reflection is there.
That is the beauty. Nobody has intended, and yet it is
there -- that's what I call communion. I have always
hated communication. To me communication is ugly. You
can see it happening between a wife and a husband, the
boss and the servant; and so on and so forth. It never
really happens. Communion is my word.
There are obstacles on the road to peace. Those obstacles are too difficult to defeat.
it is not that you have to attain peace – peace is your nature – but there are a few obstacles which have to be removed. Once those obstacles are removed, you are that which you have always been seeking. Even when you were not aware of who you are, you were that. You cannot be other than that, you cannot be otherwise.
How do you find who you are?
How do you find who you are? By just letting clarity happen.
Meditation is inevitable creative,
It cannot be otherwise.
First it creates you and then
It creates thousand and one things around you.
And it goes on creating
It goes on finding new ways to be creative
New methods to be creative; it never tires
It is never bored with creativity.
It is always thrilled with new projects
It is always full of new dreams
Which have to be materialized.