Captain, may I get a compatibility reading/scenario from you?
I would really appreciate it =^)
If you would be so kind.
Me; March 23, 1978
Him; June 16, 1975
We have kinda dated before (Well over a year ago) and it eventually went sour because he wanted to sleep with me but not have a relationship with me, supposedly to him I lived too far away (1 hour). I found that as a ridiculous excuse especially since I was the one going to him. I was in love with him, very much in love with him and he (after he and I ended things) went back to his ex wife that he had been divorced from for 10 long years. That did not work out between them (Surprise, surprise as I say in sarcasm) and down the road all of a sudden I became of an importance again somehow.
A year has passed and out of the blue he sent me an email to see how I was doing. It threw me for a whirl since it was so unexpected (Even though my cards have been telling me it was going to happen at some point). Now we are communicating and I know we are both doing our best NOT to bring up the dreaded past and keep things calm and collective between us. However, now, my feelings for him have been changing. What I used to feel for him was blind love, romantic love, but now I don't feel that for him and I don't even know why he decided to return. None the less what he wants from me.
I'm confused if he's trying to get things back the way they were before (Friends with benefits) or if he's after something else.
I guess what I am asking is, should I turn away from him like I feel like doing or should I go with the flow to see what happens. I'm confused and troubled by this entire situation and am uncertain as to how to handle this. I know he's trying to not have any conflict with me and I too have tried my darndest to not have any conflict with him. It's such a long story.. I just don't want to repeat history and get my heart shattered again.
Please some help or advice of any-kind would be dearly appreciated,
This relationship usually moves in a positive and mutually beneficial direction for its partners and can work out well over a broad spectrum of involvements - friendship, love, and marriage. Moreover, it is characterized by the patience with which you two deal with each other's varying moods, and by your mutual encouragement in the direction of greater self-understanding. Health and stability, then, are usually important plusses in this relationship. The only question is how far it will develop, since selfishness may also be present here. In consequence, a love affair or friendship may hinge on a delicate balance. The important issue is whether you two see real value in sustaining and deepening your bond, and in keeping your impulsiveness under control, or else give in to temptations that may ultimately prove destructive. Your attitudes toward this relationship then are crucial. Should you put your union first and your own individual interests second, the relationship will most likely survive. If not, it will be severely tested and perhaps broken.
On the positive side, your old friend not only has the energy to keep up with you, but also the understanding and patience to deal with your many moods. You can receive a lot from him, including encouragement to get to know yourself better. He is also good with money and can provide your more impractical self with the financial security you may never have had. On the other hand, he is extremely independent and won't tie himself down until he is good and ready. Should he decide to marry or live with you, he may discover a whole new, domestic side to his personality. True, his quest for meaning in life may leave your needy self feeling neglected. But if the relationship itself can become a mutual quest, both your lives will be immeasurably deepened and enriched.
LoveDetox, the question you have to ask yourself here is - "Am I ready to devote myself to someone else at this stage of my life and take care of his needs and wants or do I need more time by myself to achieve my own goals, find myself, and get to know what I really want out of life?" (And whether your friend is prepared to devote himself equally to the relationship and to you or just to himself?) You need to take it very slowly to sort out the answers to these questions. Any impulsiveness or rushing in will only blur the issues.
Thank you, I have to say I absolutely agree with you on this one.
I told him in a text today that I do not want a repeat of history between him and I. Then he text me later saying his whole day was going "sh*tty" and asked me how mine was. I told him mine was going great, which it has been. He seemed displeased that mine was going well and his was going badly. I have not heard from him since.
I'm not sure if it bothered him that I told him that I don't want a repeat and that's part of the reason why or if his day has just been downhill.
I'm still not sure what he wants.. May I ask for a photo reading of him from you? If it's not asking too much.
okay, I have to type something too before they will let me submit the pic.
This man likes to possess things and people (who he treats like his things). Once he has had a relationship with someone, he can't let go even if it is not working out. It makes him feel better about himself if he has a lot of people and possessions around him. With women, he likes to feel he is in charge and the 'master' of their fate, the boss of them. 'Owning' lots of possessions, money and people makes him feel like a king. He is a collector of sorts (indeed for him there is often something similar with all his collectibles) and a person's value for him lies in how good they make him feel. I get this image of him as a stamp or antique collector. He likes to admire his accumulated 'collectibles' and think of them as his, but it is in an objective unemotional way - there's no real feeling or connection involved. He wants to reconnect with you (and yes to have sex with you as a form of keeping you tied to him). You are now part of his collection and must be maintained like a car or dusted off like some fine china.
That makes a lot of sense to me actually, thank you for the reading. He is a collector - this I can verify because I have seen his collections of things. Nice things but many things.
I am also you are very accurate in his idea of collecting women (or me as part of the collection) because he seems to do that, I know he keeps in touch with women he has slept with before.
Thank you for your very accurate reading. It is highly appreciated... ever so much.... ever so...
Pardon me again Captain however as I re-read what you have said here I have to say your right on spot of how he treats me.. like I am his. He doesn't want anyone else to have me (at least from past experience) but he doesn't want me either.
He became jealous every time I would go out on a date with someone else when we were split, he would get upset when he found out where I met these men, he wanted to know what they looked like (probably to compare himself to) and blah, blah, blah.. like it really mattered because he told me he didn't want a relationship.
I couldn't understand that because he said "just friends" but then he would have to know my business which he found out from his cousin by asking her about me. I guess he did look at me as one of his possessions and still does.
I guess I just felt the need to agree with you even more here..
Thanks Again and Happy Holidays to you and yours,
Just like someone who borrows something of his and doesn't return it, eh? He wants you to remain in 'pristine condition' for him, like a comic book that is kept under glass or in plastic to preserve its impeccability. What a strange guy!
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