Cris1962 - in desparate need of advice

  • Hi Cris, hope you are well and happy this Christmas.

    I have a question about a man named Guy. I met him through a friend and felt something very strong immediately when I saw him first at the end of July this year. I just saw him again this Wednesday. The three of us (we went out with out mutual friend) had an amazing night which was a lot of fun.

    Now here's the problem - he is very very warm and has a very sunny demeanour towards others, so i am completely unable to read and categorise his interest in me. I think he likes me but whether it's as a friend or something more, I'm not sure. After seeing him again on wed, I of course feel even more smitten than before - another reason why i just can't trust my gut.

    I guess my question is... Is there any kind of romantic future here? I know, it won't be easy in any case due to us currently not living in the same country (but relocation is not really a big issue for me). I guess I just need to know if there's any hope in this situation.

    If you can offer any advise at all, I'd be very grateful.

    Thank you,


  • Dear H,

    I feel that Guy is really enjoying himself and his time in the location with friends and family if that applies here. Even if he is a bit smitten himself with you, I feel he would not be the one to express it because of the differece in cultures and countries. Being smitten is not enough to start planning a future with someone, ask him if he would be interested in writing to you as you are planning a trip to his country and you fill in the blanks.Take it nice and slow or just jump in and ask for a one night stand in which I really do not think he would be looking for at this time as he may already have someone at home in mine to get to know better. Talk to him and find out as much as you can in a casual way, than talk to someone that knows him on a deeper personal level and express your interest in him to them and see what they have to say.

    Good Luck

    Merry Christmas


  • I agree with Shuabby here. I feel he's enjoying a time of his life that he thought would never come; he wants to play the field, so to speak and not focus on any one thing or person at the moment. But offering to write to him would be a good way of breakign the ice and seeing where it goes. He does like you; I get that, but if he's pushed or feels coerced in any way, he'll back off. As Shuabby says, take it slow and steady ... because remember: the tortoise won the race in the end, not the madly running rabbit!

    Hope this helps



  • Dear Cris, dear Shuabby!

    Thank you both so very much for the prompt responses. Your insights made me so happy.

    What you're saying makes a lot of sense and this is what I arrived at myself (about not rushing and pushing him). I'm not interested in anything short term with him. In fact I very much feel like this is not about lust at all and i'll take friendship over a shag anyday. I just want to be close to him and am willing to be patient and take it as slow as necessary (even though it's pretty difficult for me at the moment).

    And it's great to know I'm not going crazy and he does like me a little bit. Hope I haven't managed to put him off so far... this week has been like an emotional rollercoaster for me and i'm not sure how i came off on wednesday. my heart has never beat so fast as when i saw him walk through the door and am worried i may have been a bit too aggressive (as i tend to overcompensate when i feel nervous)...

    when i say smitten, i may be downplaying it a bit. i'm having trouble admitting to myself just how impressed i am with him. and how he makes me happy by just being who he is. if it's meant to be, universe will help us.

    thank you so much again for your time and help. you have truly brightened my day. lots of love to both of you, and a Wonderful Christmas.



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