I know I have asked one too many times for insight and help with this Taurus man I was seeing...but now I am pregnant and he said he doesn't think we should be together as lovers anymore, I am too emotional. Then he came out with threats to take the child when its born, and then in the same day tried making nice and saying he loved me, he just has a lot of thinking to do. He is always full of excuses, he can always justify why he is right in his actions, and he never takes the blame for anything thats wrong in the relationship, he just points fingers at me....and honestly nothing was ever really wrong in the relationship until he had his freak out moments, and said he couldnt do a relationship, he had too much on his plate, he needed to focus on other things, but he loves me very much, and this has happened 3 times in 4 months. This last time I took him back he said he had really deep embedded issues from his childhood and he was sorry and he couldnt live without me, and he will get help and do whatever it took to make it work, well now this break up will be the 4th..I finally told him that i cannot take his emotional abuse and i think what is best for me and his child is to just move on without him...and he said a plain "ok, good luck, we had some good times"....I believe he is narcissictic and I guess I am just wondering if he is going to keep trying to come around, or be with this baby, or even worse try and take the baby when it's born. My birth date is 6-19-88 and his is 5-11-78...thank you to anyone who has some advice or insight...it just really bothers me because I do love him very much, and i don't want it like this, but I dont see him ever changing no matter what he says because he says one thing and does another and I don't think it's healthy for me or this unborn child.
He does not want to break off from you completely. He does actually love you, he just can't stand to be so tied to you. He doesn't even want to think that he has become dependent on you. He hates to be thought of as weak or needy so he never admits it. He also may be worried that supporting you and the child might call for him to do some old-fashioned hard work. You too have your problems - check whether your idea of what a relationship should be is healthy and not clouded by issues from your upbringing. An old fear of abandonment could be prompting your reaction in this situation.
The main problem here is there is a lot of game-playing, a lack of communication and a refusal to admit your true feelings - neither of you is being open or honest about what you really want (or fear), even to yourselves. Time for a frank discussion and personal inner investigation about where this is all going. Your man doesn't actually want to lose you or the baby - family is everything to him but he pretends to be casual about him to save face. More dishonesty! You both need to say what you want your relationship to be like and to work out a compromise that suits both of you. You need to put egos aside and talk heart-to-heart. This can be worked out if you both behave like mature adults.
I have stated what I want in a relationship with him, and what I need...I do have abandonment issues from my past and upbringing, and I am feeling very emotional and needy right now because of the pregnancy and hormones, and I have told him that. I have stated that I dont need all his time, I just want when he is with me to not be in such a detached manner. I have told him that I need him more on an emotional level right now more than anything, and he said he cant provide that, he is doing everything he can to keep me happy, I am too emotional and he is too unemotional and he thinks it will never work, and he thinks I am using my hormones as a cop out. he just seems so cold and unfeeling when we do talk, and points the blame all towards me, that it just seems to go around in circles and we always end up in the same place...so how do I approach a heart to heart, and a conversation that doesnt go the same way everytime?
You have to be very calm and detached like him. You will not get through to him begging and screaming. He is a feeling person but more about sensuality and comforts than emotional displays. Taureans are earthy and practical and love peace and calm so show him that you have a pragmatic workable plan for how to be a happy little family together. Remember - he has that fear of appearing weak and needy, although he really does want to be with you. He just puts on a distant act - and it is an act. You will need all your patience and calm to deal with this stubborn person but it can work out. You must both work on your personal problems - your abandonment issue makes you quite fearful and expectant of him to leave you.
I talked to my Taurus guy, and he didn't change his mind, he said he doesn't think we are meant to be together at this time, and that he wishes me luck in my life ahead....definitely not what I expected, at all! So I was wondering if I could please get a reading done on my year ahead Captain, I would eternally grateful if I could get some insight on what to expect in my upcoming future. My birthday is 6-19-88 I was born in La Mesa,CA at 2:50 a.m.
Just let him be to think things through. He can be so stubborn and rigid at times that it outweighs his common sense. I feel he will return as the baby grows. I think that he needs time apart from you to truly appreciate what being with you gives him and how empty his life is without you (and his child).
As to what 2011 holds for you, it will be a 2 personal year for you. This is a time for relationships - new and old - so you definitely won't be alone for long.
Very deep relationships with a person of the opposite sex (including marriage) are more apt to occur during a 2 year. Breakups with present partners can also occur but, since you already broke up this year, next year should be all about makeups or new associations. 2011 will require cooperation and patience from you. You will be asked to continue with the development of what you initiated in 2010. Balance is a key factor as you utilize time as a tool to help you further advance your goals and aspirations. Much is happening on the inner realms. Therefore, a step-by-step approach enables you to move forward. Relationships are a definite area of focus throughout the year, as you learn about co-creative energy.
Reassess 2010. Ask yourself what areas of your life brought you joy last year. What areas were challenging? Make a list of the joys and challenges. Some items may represent things you need to let go of to further advance, while others are areas that need more patience and application. Ask yourself what would help you improve these challenging areas. For example, perhaps you can take a class, develop new capabilities, or make some new friends. Look for ways to empower yourself. Building your knowledge, skills, and relationships are only a few of the ways that you can bring more balance into your life by dancing with your challenges.
Continue to improve your relationships. Look for the deeper heartfelt intention behind the actions of friends, loved ones, and co-workers. Practice your communication skills, both listening and expressing. Find ways to help others and remember to ask for help when you need it. Take time to nurture yourself and your child. Self-love is the fuel that promotes happiness. It helps you heal and provides a basis for wellness. Examine your wellness plan, and make sure you are getting enough rest, exercise, nutritious food, pure water, and social interaction. Practice gratefulness. By acknowledging what you are grateful for, you create a clear message of what you want more of. Doing so creates momentum.
Since 2011 may appear to be more slowly paced year than 2010, this will give you a chance to relax and take things easier. It acts as a gestation period (for both you and your child) after the year before of upset and upheaval. It is filled with a lot of yang or female energy. Cooperation, balance, socialization and intuition are all important in this year and you’ll probably find that you will work or at least be drawn to work with others in some form. During 2011 there will be a strong emphasis on the female relationships in your life. Anything unresolved with female figures including mothers, grandmothers, aunts, teachers and even childhood friends may come to the surface. In fact, you may even find yourself attracting relationships that act out old patterns related to conflicts with significant females in your life. When you are aware of this, it can be a time of great healing for you and for those with whom you’re in relationship. You may also find that some of your ideas about the role of women in society, in the home, and in business are being questioned. This may reflect an uneasiness you experienced when you were coming of age and trying to find your place. Each time this happens in a cycle, you are given the opportunity to redefine how you want to be and be seen in the world.
2011 is also a time for you to really pay attention to your intuition and trust that inner voice, not the inner critic but the inner spirit, and develop your inner awareness. If you find yourself acting in a certain way to fit into a role you perceive to be better or more helpful to you, eventually it will backfire and you’ll realize the only true way to be is to be yourself. it should also become clear that you will need to release some emotional and mental blocks that stand in your way of happiness. In 2011, if you follow your inner voice in matters of the heart and in every other area of your life, it will be a resoundingly successful and delightful year for you.
Thank you so much for the reading and your advice!