Update on my dreams
K - so awhile back I posted something about my Cancer's sister appearing in my dream, telling me that I needed to call him, and that he needed to hear from me. So three nights ago, I had another dream, this time she was laughing at me. I was showing her his photoalbum with all of his pics of him and exes and saying they're all the same - same hair, same facial feature, same bodies - they're all skinny biotches (which I am not) and that's what he wants to be with. She laughed at me (like I was an idiot) and told me that I was different and he wanted to be with me. I just needed to talk to him. She yanks the album from me and comes back with him - a total drunken mess. He cries to me why did you stop calling me?? and I went off - you stopped calling me, you hurt me I loved you and you blew me off. Sis kept saying stop this isn't what you're supposed to talk about, this isn't supposed to happen - while he and I fought. He says to me that I abandoned him, then that I was too good for him, why would I even want to be with someone like him - he has no job, he's going to lose his house, he can't provide for me. I yell back at him to stop feeling sorry for himself and pick his butt up like a man and do something about it, stop the drinking and using and get over yourself. I then told him that I never had any expectations on him, he put them on himself and I told him that it didn't matter how much money he made or where he lived - I wanted to be with HIM. He then is completely inconsolable and crying on his sis's shoulder saying I'm being mean to him. She starts comforting him and re-assures him by saying that everything's going to be alright. She then looks at me and says - maybe this isn't the right time just yet - we need to do this another time. She then motions behind her for someone to help and it's his BF. He helps her grab him (to keep him from falling down) and I look at his BF and he rolls his eyes and shakes his head. I was confused and asked what just happened, what's going on and he tells me the same thing - you know how he gets - he's just not in a good place - you'l have to do this another time. THEN I forced myself to wake up.
Get this - TODAY - I check my email and low and behold an email is there from HIS SISTER wanting to know if I want to play bunco at her house for a fundraiser. Granted I wasnt the only person she sent it too, but I haven't spoke to her since Nov. of last year when I told her to stop trying to set me up with her male friends cuz i wanted to be with her BRO.
Here's my problem. If I answer her - she'll grill me about what happened and I honestly don't know what happened AND she'll tell me everything that SHE KNOWS (which is probably everything both good and bad and could potentially hurt me). I can't bear to hear it right now either and don't really want to deal with it.
I don't know how to interpret it. Was I dating him to become her friend? Did she send me the email because she wants to find out what's going on? Was I not listening to what my dreams were telling me the first time and now she's throwing a LIVE line to me to make sure I deal with it?
Verdana or DreamerNorth can either one of you help with this one? I don't do interpretations.
DreamerNorth or Verdana? Anyone - I do need alittle guidance on this. Thanks!
I hope I caught her in time before she got off of the site.
Well dreams aren't my specialty by any means but I am pretty good at visual interpretation and can generally give pretty sound advice.
What I would say about this is it's definitely about the strong feelings and strong miscommunications between you and your Cancer man. The sister's involvement is probably as a mediator seeing for whatever reason the two of you are not together and not talking about it.
This does sound like it was more than a dream. More like a message from a spirit guide trying to tell you something that you need to know.
Your scenerio sounds pretty 'unusual' to say the least. It's obvious that you or your spirit guide feel that communication between the two of you needs to take place. From your dream, it sounds like you both want to be with each other, but are both too insecure and self-doubting to admit that you deserve each other. According to your dream (or vision) you both feel the other is too good for you, and that you don't really mean it when each of you tell each other that you are what each other wants.
I always say that "You can't help someone that can't help themselves". It sounds to me that you are both your own worst enemies. Nothing is more frustrating than watching an otherwise wonderful person be like that.
It sounds like you are very insecure. Perhaps about your voluptuous figure. Stating that regardless of what he says (which apparently is all positive) that he can't really mean it and can't really want you because what he 'wants' is 'skinny' girls. Meanwhile, his sister and him for that matter is saying you are what he wants.
If you want to be happy, you've got to overcome your own insecurities and self-doubt and start believing that you are a wonderful person and deserve happiness and wonderful things in life. It's got to start from your own head first. Until you stop telling yourself how 'worthless' you are, and start focussing on the truth, which would be your beauty and 'worth', then you will never allow anyone else to tell you otherwise. It's your own inner voice that you have to change first. Stop being negative about yourself, and start being positive. In the end, you are the only person that you will truly listen to. We are all human. That means we are all riddled with tremendous beauty and also many many faults. Oh well. That is called being 'human'. We all have both beauty and ugliness inside of us. You can either focus on all the negative (which you appear to be doing) and continue to run yourself down and always remain in your comfort zone of misery, or you can decide (yes, decide) to focus on your beauty and positive qualities and start reminding yourself of them. Eventually, low and behold, if you remind yourself enough of your strengths instead of your weakesses, you'll actually start believing yourself. You know what happens then? Why, you start feeling better about yourself. And then what? You actually start feeling happier. Happy even. Wow.
It starts from your own mindset first though.
So, it sounds like your spirit guide or your Cancer's sister is trying to tell you to stop running yourself down, being your own worst enemy and to start realizing that you (and everyone else for that matter) is someone special, and does deserve happiness. And yes, other people can see that in you regardless of whether you can see it in yourself yet or not.
So, when he tells you that you are what he wants. Perhaps you should give him (and you) the benefit of the doubt, and actually believe him and judge him then by his words and actions (that's important too - in case he does end up being a player) rather than your own sense of poor self worth.
By the way, it sounds like he could use the exact same advice as well.
However, nothing will change between you and him until you actually start talking to him as well. So if it were me, I certainly would respond to his sister's request and see her. Talking about certain 'issues' with the sister may cause you some emotional grief I suppose, but in the end how will it make your current situation worse? I don't think it can. However, it certainly may be able to make your current situation better. Think about that. Or would you rather not make things better for you?
Thanks for the help. I didn't know what to tell her. Except to work on herself.
librasLair - thanks for rounding her up! Dreamernorth - you have an insight that I myself would have never even thought of. right now I'm being totally stubborn in not contacting him. I have spent the past month overthinking how insecure and jealous I was, I probably drove him away, blah, blah, blah......but I am working on myself, both physicaly and mentally right now. I do feel that this timed without him is a period that I need to reflect on myself and get past the past (tee hee) and be a better person because of it.
I guess that's why I'm refraining from contacting him - I don't want to be in that same hurt and rehash old perceived wounds, but I do still want to be with him....he and I had a strange connection. From the first date I felt like i had known him forever - everything was easy and comfortable, but 6 wks ago everything changed - drastically.
I can't thank you enough DreamerNorth for your insight....
Your welcome. I'm a guy by the way. But no problem with the mix up.
When I was much younger I used to listen to the wrong people and it made me down on myself and left me with lower self-worth as well. Once I realized this, I was able to teach myself the same message that I've tried to convey to you. It really changed my life around. I've loved myself ever since and life became much simpler and happier. The best thing you can ever do is learn to love yourself. No matter how good we get, we can always benefit from continuing to work on improving mind, body, and spirit. Good for you for continuing to do that. Sometimes we can use a nudge or a reminder from someone else to help us along the way. I'm glad I can help.
Sometimes old pain and fear is hard to overcome. But nothing is ever gained from giving into our fears. At least you know what you want and can do something about it. Best wishes to you.
DreamerNorth I had no idea you were a man. I think your input was even more benificial because you gave what you had and it was from the otherside yet I have always felt like it was coming from a female. Your good girl!
I meant that in a good way. Its my off the wall sense of humor. Rather dry sometimes.
Hi, I knew Dreamer was a man. I value his input.
Thanks Dreamer North - I'm so sorry - i had no idea you was a boy! My apologies......but I definitely appreciate your input even more because you see it from a mans' perspective. I guess that's why I felt your input was different......hmmmmm..........
So then dreamernorth - you said you thought I should go to the bunco game, but I'm wondering if I should bypass that and send my boy a quick note instead.....Anythoughts?
Dalia - lol!!
No problem all. Once again, I didn't take any offense by the confusion. I will say that I am very much a man when it comes to doing 'guy things'. I even lifted weights and played in a men's rugby league for years when I was in my 20's. I can do 'lockerroom talk' with the best of em. But I do seem to have certain perspectives or 'sensibilities' that are rare for many (or most) men. It's fairly rare for a man to be in touch with his spiritual side as well. I am the only man in my spritual circle, and in the entire church itself there is no more than 10% guys.
I know a lot of people, both guys and girls and of all ages, and I value all their views and perspectives. But it is true, that ever since I've been an adult at least 2/3 or more of my closest friends have always been women. I have a tendency to get to know all my friends very closely though. Most of my friends (of either gender) tell me that I am the only guy that they can have 'real' conversations with. Just the way I was born I suppose.
Paula, I think that would be a great idea to bypass the middle 'person' and go right to the source. The sooner the two of you start communicating and understanding each other more, the better it will be for the both of you. That's what I think anyway.
DreamerNorth I think the reason you don't find as many men on a forum like this is because so many men are afraid of what they don't understand so I commend you and the other who are on here and giving an opinion. My x has abilities and he can pretty much give a view from both sides. To bad he gave my messages as his own as well.
sorry i didn't see this post until LibrasLair asked me to look in on it and it took me a while to find it because i hadn't previouly participated.
So if i'm still in time, i'll try to assist with my interpretation
Incidentally, if you read what i just wrote it is significant to the dream.
Firstly though, it appears to me that the fact his sister throws away the photo album in the dream suggests you need to forget what has gone past to be able to move forward with or without this man. There is a need to let by-gones be by-gones across the board.
Maybe the fact a few months has passed is sufficient time for the urgency to sort out the mess to lapse a little and given you enough breathing space to decide what it is you actually want.
If the relationship is worth saving, time away will not affect the outcome.
Sometimes it allows both sides to realize their needs, sort out emotions and put things into perspective. It's difficult to stand back and look at something with a balanced mind when we're too close to the subject. Emotions take over and block common sense.
I think you should maybe go to his sisters if it isn't too late. It stands out to me that there is someone there who has been sent for you from spirit who can help you.
Often when this happens, it is in conversation where something clicks in your mind and you just know it's right because it's like someone just turned on the light switch and suddenly everything becomes clear.
This feels good to me and so i wouldn't be afraid to approach this at all.
Don't worry if the event has passed because another opportunity will arise very soon.
The sister and best friend in the dream signify the people who have held him up during his times of distress. I think the reason she looked at you like you're an idiot in the dream suggests the opposite of what you think here. The true meaning is that your own perception of what he wants and likes in a woman is misguided. Maybe just a little insecurity on your part too because of the difference in size.
Many people go for the same looks, style and character in a loved one only to discover true love with someone completely different. It's that casting a mould which needs to be broken, like old habits die hard but once we break that mould a whole new approach to life opens up to change forever. The dawning of realization or waking up after a bad dream and finding things aren't that bad after all.
Hope this helps and sorry it took so long.
Thank you Verdana she is on the west coast and I will see if I can make contact with her so she can read this.
Thanks Verdana - I really appreciate your input. the game hasn't passed, but I actually made plans for the day that the gameis scheduled. I know i did this on purpose too....but oh well. I know that I am insecure about my weight.. I am by no means large, but I have alot stored in all the right places and I carry my extra weight very well. But regardless - I dont' look good in a bikini - which is all I saw when flipping through his album (in real life) - girls in bikinis with his arm around them or kissing them.......it almost broke my heart alittle when I saw it, but I was in awe that he shared it with me.....I am trying to get my head straight about my insecurities so that when I do talk to him (and it will be soon) I can be the funny outgoing girl I was when we met. I'm almost there...and then maybe, I will be able to handle it better.....
I appreciate what you said about people going for the same things, only to find true love with someone entirely different. I broke that mold with him and he did for me. I have never dated anyone younger, nor he, older. We both tend to date the same people and believe me - neither of us (while dating) were anything like anyone we had ever dated previously. I think that's why I'm having such a hard time with this still, after a month and a half. I miss him everyday, but I can never tell him that because that would give him all the power.
I have been tinkering with the idea of sending him a quick card in the mail, but the words haven't come to me as far as what to say - but I feel like I need to do that. I know the words will come to me when the time is right.....I am fearing, however, that I may have missed a window of opportunity with the first dream to contact him......
Only time will tell........and the universe will make everything right.......the way it's supposed to be....