CANCER ex GF.....Help me read her. Games or done?
so me and this cancer girl were dating for about a year. Things were perfect. We took our time and built a mature solid relationship. one unlike other people around us dating in college.
Before the school year started I got arrested for something very serious. She shut me out at first and then we talked and she told me she loved me and that we need to take a step back and go slow because of my sitaution. Then, about 2 weeks later my situation hit the news. i told her when I found our because i thought it was the right thing to do. About a week after a called her and we talk yelled and cried for about an hour ending in her saying not to call her anymore. She called me back the next morning and said that she is hear for me but needs time, which must have been hard for her.
She called a week after to see how a was. the next week a called her and told her a had a gift to give her because she got a new job. It took her a few days to pick get the gift from a friend. I called her 2 days after inpulsivly to ask if she was over me and at that stuff. She kept saying idk idk idk (also a lot of crying). The next day i left her a message at night saying that i felt like i owe it to her to let her go because i know she cant handle the situation and that I love her. She then called back the next day and I sort or blew her of and was like yeah its true im leaning on people that dont want to be leaned on and that i know its not that black and white. She agreed and we said when we talk we dont have to talk about anything because it would open everything up.
I did not know at the time that i would not talk to her a 6 weeks. After that call i send her an email saying that i did not mean that i want to let her go but i just didnt wan to presure her and that im always here for her. No reply. 2 weeks later a sent a very long and nice email just asking her to please please let me know where your at because there is a void that i cant move on without knowing. She responded by blocking her facebook wall. I then called her 2 times the following week end and 1 text saying that i kknow she hates me but i need to talk to her.
She called back and was very stern and said do not call her again and that she thought she was very clear and that there was nothing to talk about. Long story short she said she does care, she dosnt hate me, but that after the last 2 weeks it was clear i have no place in her life (this was a night of a full moon also). 1 week after that her 3 best friends deleted me from facebook and 1 week after that her and her sister did.
WTF is going on here. I was very very very nice to her and she treated me like shit through all this. Is shelooking for attention or is she dead serious and done and it just took time.
This post is deleted!
ok thanks...... anyone else. PLEASE its killing me!
As a Cancer girl myself, I think shes done.
This doesn't mean she may actually really want to be done, as we are fickle minded and go back and forth between things, sometimes actually convincing ourselves that we want this thing...going on a self destructive path, where we cut that person out for good. Well I don't think thats the case here.
With Cancers, sometimes I know (as bad as it is) we cut or distance people, just to see how much they care and if they will come running. It seems in your case you have made it obvious to her that you care and constantly keep approaching her. She is getting that so called attention she wants, but if honestly, all that is not making her budge...sorry to break it to you, but shes done!
She went as far as to delete you off everything. Also most Cancers will make you run for their affection, but they will turn softer with each attempt and inside they will just be so happy/floored that you texted/emailed them. Despite your efforts, your Cancer seems to be having none of it. So pretty much, whether it started as something she had convinced herself she wanted or really wanted, she has reached that point. And theres no going back with a Cancer when they do that.
**but even from a non-cancer perspective, i think this shows ne woman is done.
ok thank you. so also when we talked last i went to a party that she was going to go to and she was pissed and threatened me not to go there again. No i thought maybe she was just pissed about all that or w/e.
How did she go from saying when we last talked and that she did care to deleteing me from facebbok when she knows that i am having a hard time with this. and why did it take 2 weeks.
also do you think that she made up her mind wayyyy before we talk and just didnt want to say of do anything
LAst one sorry..... so you think that she does still think about me or care about me or has this taken the opposite effect and now she thinks of me negatively even though i was nothing but nice to her. somethings i think that me being to relentless and sensitive turned her off. you think that changed anything
CANCERwomanexGames your comment, "ok thanks...... anyone else. PLEASE its killing me!" gave me a chuckle
Okay now onto the situation at hand,
If what you did to get arrested had ANY kind of a violent theme...you can pretty much count on any female being leery/afraid/nervous...but especially the Cancer female! They are all about security! At the first sign of trouble they emotionally retreat into their shells until they can either figure a plan of attack or escape! It's fight or flight!!! No doubt she had feelings for you, but the Cancer also has a strong sense of duty, loyalty and family base. So if her parents or a parent type figure learned of your arrest and voiced a strong negative reaction to this...your Cancer is going to pull the plug and end this source of contention. Her crying and the come here and go away can be the simple duality of loving you and doing what she felt was the right thing. I sense a young girl, muchacha who is quite traditional.
so you think that she still cares bout me but has to draw the line because she knows it has to be done. then how come she couldnt just say that. i said that she can tell me anyway she felt and i would understand. Also, why was she so cold when she cold me back if she still cares and knew it would be the last call
her parents did say to get away from me and i know she respects them
SHould i not take this personally and just a matter a the situation?
A very clear line she has drawn, and you are already feeling the effects (coolness,distance,silence)
You need to move on for now and leave things be exactly as they are between you and Cancer girl. Concentrate on YOU. Should you take what has transpired PERSONALLY? If you don't it will all be for not. Take it to heart...letting it inspire a season of strong reflection and then opportunity for positive CHANGE in you.
I think it's time to move on. If it was meant to be you will find each other again.
Yeah i know. but do you guys think that she still thinks of me often or is having a hard time dealing with this. Because I cant thinking about her and i read that cancers have to hardest time moving on and live in the past.
c'maaaan i know theres a ton of you cancer woman out there! HELPP.