Do I have to always encourage the cancer man?It's so frustrating!

  • I am involved with a cancer man.We are not bf and gf yet.He sends me siglnals that he likes me.He gazes into me,he is shy sometimes,he chases me and he is so jealous.I have many friends and when i talk to other boys he backs into his shell then he never talks to me.Oh,that drives me crazy!I read all the posts about the cancers and now i can understand the shell and roller-coaster thing.Anyway i try to handle these things but my biggest problem is different:He can't still ask me out!!or he doesn't want to date with me.I made it clear that i am into him,i love him.He also lets me know that he likes me.I am leo by the way,it's already frustrating to make the first move but he still did't make the biggest move.What's his problem could be?Does he wait the right time?Doesn't he trust me enough or love me enough?I am always the one starting the conversations.I want him to put some efforts to get me.He even didn't ask my phone number.My friends say,he doesn't love you they say let him go.But i fell his love deeply,and he stares me alot.Why a man stares at a girl,if he doesn't like her?He looks into my eyes deeply,he sticks around me.Isn't it sign that he loves me?so why he can't do a direct thing.I made myself available for him.We are knowing each other for 2 years and i am still waiting for him.Please help me.What should i do?Please don't say he is jerk,forget him...I've always heard these words from my friends.My last chance is you who knows the cancer man well.Thank you..

  • Okay, I am going to be completely HONEST with you, as a Cancer myself and as someone who knows many cancer men (some of them my close friends, relatives and family.)

    Well, my friends always thought that this one guy (who is a cancer and now one of my good friends) used to like me. They used to be like, "he stares at you all the time," he even wanted to spend time with me all the time (and that too alone), he liked hanging out with me, he was shy and would run away when he saw me, he would stutter, he would be at a loss for words at times. My friends were hell bent on setting me up with him, but me being a cancer, i wasn't so sure he liked me (and I sort of liked him, but not really.)

    Reason 1- He stares ALOT: Trust me, my cancer guy, STARED like there was no tomorrow and he would never see me again. This is JUST HOW CANCERS ARE. Every cancer I know (including me) are observant to the tee. We love looking at people, their reactions and we generally like eye contact. I think that is part of the reason we are called intuitive, all we do is stare at times. Sometimes we would much rather be silent and figure the person out through action and not through speech, hence, we stare.

    Reason 2- He is shy: We all are, sorry to break it to you. We get very shy, especially if we find someone attractive, BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN we like them. Cancers, I find, can find so many ppl attractive and that can keep us shy and held back for A VERY LONG TIME. But for us, if were not emotionally attached, their just nice to look at, but doesn't mean we want to be with them.

    Reason 3- He stutters, runs away: Cancer men tend to have a lot of pride and are sensitive, public image for them is key! Even in front of ppl they have known for a long time. Remember this, he could just be stuttering because he wants you to know the real him. He wants you to have a good impression of him.

    Basically end of my cancer story, one of my friends just asked him and he said "shes a cool person, but I don't see her like that." We became good friends after that and I saw him in action with other girls. If a Cancer man wanted you, he would SHOW you. Its simple as pie, they will run after you, try to get your email/phone number on the sly. They will not play too many mind games when they like you. My guy also used to be protective of me, and that is another reason the girls thought he liked me, when another guy came up to me etc. That is just a Cancer protective nature, especially towards those they want to be friends with.

    KEY: DO NOT MISTAKE A CANCER LIKING YOU WHEN THEY WANT TO BE GOOD FRIENDS. Cancers seek depth and emotion everywhere, even in FRIENDSHIP! They want a person who understands them and make sure they are life long. Does not mean they like you.

    SORRY if i was harsh, hope it helped.

    p.s. if you still want to pursue it, tell him straight up. Trust me its the only way, if his answer is silence of i dont know, and he dissapears- he doesn't like you. Cancer, if they do like you, will run to the chance to be with you, if you tell and he says he likes you back- then you have an answer.

  • i don't want to chase after him anymore.I've always thought it's not right time for him because he was having hard days.(he had no job and his brother was ill) I couldn't sleep because of your post.Don't take it wrong, you are so honest.Truth hurts.

    I've also a friend who's cancer male.He goes after what he wants.He was in love with a girl,he chased her no matter what then he got her.He is protective,he loves to be with me as you said but he never gazes into me so much or he is not jealous.So i made believe that my cancer man has special feelings for me.Believe me when we met at first i never did something special for him i didn't realised him even.It was very hard to resist him, he sneaked in.He chased me,he was looking to my eyes so deeply,he was so gentle...So fell i love with him easliy..I am so sorryy right now and i don't know what to say anymore.Thank you for replying me like my girlfriend.You are so right,if a man loves a woman he'll go after her.I never met a man like this cancer man so i made a mistake.I try to move on my life.

  • I am sorry for your pain a-weak-lionness. I am in love with a cancer man and he told me that he loved me and then a month later said he didn't mean it the way I took it. as far as I know there is only one way to love someone when you are sleeping with them. He changes his mind like a person changes their underwear. I am thinking maybe because he is an alcoholic, but then I read these forums regarding cancers and they are the most talked about and the most wishy-washy people being spoken of on these forums, makes me wonder why they are not easy to read.....they seems to like drama more than a leo. (that is, I believe unevolved people like drama, i think it must make them feel something maybe just important in their own minds and hoping it spreads to others inpressions of them.)

    which brings me to Missconfused's advice. I think she is right when she says that if he liked you he will chase you. I believe this is true of all humans - men and women. I like him, I show it, same thing, unless he is immature and afraid of showing it outright til he knows you better. he will chase and tell you he likes you, (yet, the cancer man I know is shy and expects me to chase, though he showed he cared before then took it away, after we fought, (he can fight but he is turned off, and overly sensitive, if you do it back to him) but, now he pushed me away. Also, I think he listens to his family, who do not know me and intrude on his life and his friends who also have an influence on his mesesm to me then he is doing the right thing for both of us.

    and my advice to both of you.....change your names because positive affirmations and words will be healthy for you. I have never known a weak lion or lionness and someone should not be perpetually confused. You are what you name yourself and in life you need all the positive words you can give yourself.

  • sorry about the typos....2nd to last paragraph....

    his friends who also have an influence on him...even so, I still love him...but I am backing way off, and if he comes back to me, which I hope, then he is doing the right thing for both of us. If he isn't interested in the beautiful woman whom I have shown him that I am, then he is not ever going to see me truly.

  • thank you kmuse.

    Yes,i was strong but now i feel weak and needy.I need time and if he loves me he has to put some efforts.I made up my mind.I ll just let him go for a while,then i see what will happen.

  • AWLioness, I think you have your answer right there. You feel week and needy. I'd stop chasing after him. If it's meant to be he will come after you. Otherwise it's not worth the mental stress. I wish you luck with your decision.

  • You sound very young. Many of the questions you ask would answer themselves in time. The thing you need to ask yourself is do you want to continue to feel this way weak needy frustrated confused and wanting something that does not exist. The old adage "If it's meant to be it will be" fits here. I'm sorry you are not going to hear what you want to hear. The Universe is telling you thru your friends to let go. We all come up upon attractions and feelings for some that are not reciprocated. It happens. It does not mean you are unlovable, but I suggest you learn to love yourself too.

    Get on w/ your life. I also knew a cancer that did the gazing thing and sent double messages etc drove me nuts. But I too had to learn to let go. Charm is just that not something to take personally.

    Good luck.


  • Divinemuse, I appreciate your advice. I am believing the same, 'if it is meant to be he will come after you'. That is the bottom line. the same way I would go after him. And I want him to chase me. So, I will stop the chase and let God. Thank you.

  • Pfree, thank you! I needed to read your advice. 'If it's meant to be it will be'.

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