Calling All TRANSITION GIRLS...
I read this on another site and had to post it here. I NEVER thought of myself as a 'Transition Girl' But....
I am posting this because when I read it, it was like cold water thrown on my face and what was desperately needed for me to take off my rose colored glasses and OPEN my eyes that have been blinded by 'love' for too long...And quite honestly it was the answer to my fervent prayers. Yes Dear Ones, The Lord, The Universe work in mysteries ways...
So many lonely and broken hearts here, waiting and wondering if and when "HE" will come back, leave his wife, girlfriend, family,etc. I hope you will read this and at the very least give it some thought and if per chance, a lovely woman like you finds herself in the UNDESIREABLE role of "Transition Girl' take action immediately! Stop giving that undeserving person your last piece of dignity and keep it for yourself You'll be glad you did!
This response is to a married woman who was involved with a married man. She eventually got a divorce and continued to wait. Well, now a few years later, he is FINALLLY geting a divorce but things are not looking too good for her...
"You speak a great deal of “knowing,” and what you’re certain will be. Why, then, in the same breath, do you speak of “waiting for something that won’t happen?” In the deepest recesses of your soul, what you really know is that something is dreadfully wrong. You’ve floated along on a pipe dream, and now this man is finally in the position you wanted. He is almost free of his wife. Why, then, is he not eager to couple with you? He should have rushed to you, whisked you off your feet, and taken you far away after introducing you proudly to his entire family – not to mention giving you a chance to get to know his children. Not only didn’t that happen, but now you see signs of his drawing away from you. Something is wrong, and you know it."
"Life is too short for silly games. What you are to him is a “transition girl.” A lover utilized by weak males to wean themselves off stronger women and into independent surroundings. You give him sex, moral support, and tender motherly care. However, when that man is strong enough, he will leave his wife and go out on his own. While you’re waiting for your just reward, he’ll come and have a talk with you – a difficult one. He’ll say that he isn’t ready to commit, yet, that it’s just too soon, and that he’s thinking of the children. He’ll keep coming to your bed, but less and less often. Meanwhile, you become desperate, chasing illusions. In the meantime, what he really wants to do with his newfound freedom is to take the opportunity to audition a myriad of younger, less motherly candidates for his next trip to the altar. These women are ones who don’t sit and wait for divine intervention. They’ll take that man without regret, and you’ll be the loser."
I hope you will join me in a new life of Love (for myself) and Freedom (from lies, excuses, etc.) The other option....Transition Girl = LOSER.
Sent with Much Love to all of us here who have suffered for TOOO LOOONG...
December Girl ......NOT Transition Girl! ......anymore
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Thank you for your kind and wise response. Letting go is not easy in any relationship, and as you well know, it's been a long, difficult year for me (and You!) Before I read that post, I kept hoping that things would change, but I have finally realized that I am the one that has to change, because if I do what I have always done, I will get what I've always gotten....and quite frankly it just is not enough anymore.
My intention with this post was not to come across as angry or bitter, just "real" and with no one really, except myself. This forum is jam packed with broken hearts. The reason- there is no balance in the relationships. One person is giving more and receiving little or nothing in return, thus the pain and desperation. One person cannot want it more than the other...
I still love my Aries man, BUT have to let go of the pain and love myself more than I love him. There is nothing that I want more than to be in a balanced relationship with him where we are equal partners and have theat "ideal"relationship, but in order for that to happen, I have to change and so does he. Until that happens it will be more of the same. So I have taken the first step....with myself and let go.
I do not know what is next, but in this moment I am not lugging around 8 plus years of baggage and it is somewhat of a relief
By the way....my birthday is the 27th of this month and I would love a reading from you, if you are so inclined. I am asking now, because with the holidays creeping up on us, I know you will be busy! If he is in it, great, but if not, just another message from the Universe to contiue this new path I am on.
Once againg, THANK YOU for your support his year
Blessings and Happy Holidays!
decembergirl, i have never been in a situation such as that... but i did however let a man take everything from me, including my dignity which is gradually coming back slowly including my self worth and self esteem... but i thank you for this because it works in all relationships... if the man isnt swiping you off your feet the relationship isnt working out right... even if it starts out as a friendship and eventually you realize love is between the both, when love is realized so much fireworks happen between the both... and i notice now that when a man is really in love with you he will go out of his way for you... i never realized that, i always played the mans role in a relationship and never let the man be a man to me, maybe that is why im still single... ive learned alot in the past with my relationships, especially the last one i was in... and thank god like you say, there is a god... and yes i believe he does work in mysterious ways, for he has made this man pay for his wrong doing to me and many other people hes done this too... but i want you to know that story you told was so eye opening to me and many people... i just hope and pray that the people that read it do remember the story, and keep their eyes open with their own relationships and make that decision is the relationship worth staying in or out... and if out to go out their and find what they truly deserve... god bless you hon again for sharing, jaffeebella
Thank you for responding. I have never posted anything like this before, mostly just questions about "him"...It was actually quite liberating to be able to post something that I saw as helpful, at least to me...
You are right when you say that a man should "sweep you off your feet". When a man is in love, he will move heaven and earth to be with you, make you happy , etc. When that does not happen, or stops happening, it's time to look at the relationship.
You are right on about allowing another person to take your dignity, but if we are honest with ourselves, I think we allow or enable them to take it from us. Then there is that long road back to self-esteem, self-love and restoring our dignity.
If this post has helped you, then it served it's pupose And even if this post only means something to you and me, that's 2 less people walking around blinded by love ( or what we perceive as love...)
Thank you for sharing with me and I hope this new year brings You the love you deserve
Love and Light