BACK AGAIN... MORE QUESTIONS regarding CANCER MAN
Hello all, I posted last year about my best friend who is a Cancer male. I made a mistake saying his gf (at the time) was a Cappy. In reality, she is a Leo. We, my Cancer friend and I, a pisces woman, have this amazing connection that seems to grow stronger as time goes by. We are going on 15 years of friendship. Long story short, he married his Leo in June but has told me he thinks of leaving already. She was his high school sweetheart and she ripped his heart out of his chest. During the period after their break up, he and I grew very close (joined at the hip according to him) and things were great. EXCEPT - I fell in love with my best friend (how cliche can I be?) but never told him. We lost touch for almost 10 years and have been talking again for a year and a half. We tried to start something when I separated from my husband but somehow we didn't get anywhere but a few mindblowing kisses.
Since he got married and I reconciled with my hubby, I have been torn. My Scorp hubby and I have tried to put our marriage back together and at times, we seem to be headed that way but then this Cancer friend says or does something that pulls me back in. If I am just holding onto a pipe dream, could someone please tell me. He says there is something that draws him to me that he can't explain but he knows what he feels and it feels right. We text every day and some of the conversations have been "what if" in nature, some have been about "our bond", a lot of teasing and he admitted that he is attracted to me physically. When I asked what the problem was then when we could have been together without anyone else getting hurt, he said that I am the one person he can't treat like he does everyone else. Not only would he not use me but he can't hurt me. He didn't have anything good left because of his past; it started with his NOW wife. My head says one thing, my heart another. He said to listen to my heart and quit overthinking us but how do I do that when he is married and so am I but my heart says we belong together?
The night before my Cancer wed his Leo, he came to me and we talked and he said that he has always known that I had feelings for him and (STUPID ME) I asked if I meant close to what I wanted to and he said that I do. Um, as bad as I should feel for having an emotional affair with a married man with me married as well, I can't. I feel like he is mine; he feels the same way about me. We both are trying to be fair but we both wonder what sex would be like and have conversations that, in all reality, are potentially dangerous. I can't seem to help myself and neither can he. I told him he's my addiction and he seems to feel the same with me. We have the strangest "friendship" I have ever experienced. Even mutual friends who know the whole story say we are f***'ed up. We know more about each other than anyone who have never slept together. Our bond is one that we feel each others' pain and anger. This is a complicated mess but as it's my life, I could use some help. ANY ADVICE will be weighed accordingly and used to help fix this mess I am in. THANKS!
CharmedWitchBente last edited by
What a tale, and i thought mine was the nuttiest of all. I see here its as good as urs. That said i suggest you to skip all thoughts of both men. go to your happy place wether at home alone in ur favorite room or out in nature by water, center urself and let ur soul soar high.
Once free n centered at peace in ur soul. As ur gut which way is best. I say this bc rarely is the gut wrong or off base.
last ill ask you if u feel without being able to reason explain it have a DESTINED deep deeeeeppp feeling a KNOW to it? vibe this on each guy and please, no matter what u hear in ur head requestion to gut n heed to reply. I just tested it on myself, head went yes gut went no on a friend i know, i redid head said yes n gut heck yeah! on another guy. N on 3rd head went maybe n gut dunno LMAO
lastly ill say if u and ur cancer man wanne go for it, be divorced fully first. u do NOT want to b the reason for his marraige on rocks NOR the other woman, n im certain u dont want him to b ur reason for marriage dissolving nor to b the other man.
In short, confer with ya gut instinct n go for it, BUT be single first if thats where ur gut takes u. Ill leave u with these words, whos life is it? n aint life too short for bad?
Capricorn444 last edited by
Every Situation in your life that requires you to seek deep thruth is an opportunity to grow.The more pain and struggle you experience the more you hsve to seek th etruth into yourself snd then become asn aware being with growth.Those situations we can thank becuase we then attain deeper and truth.To raise your frequency higher go within and ask yourself. Seek deepr truth to elevate your vibration. If you do not let yourself see the truth, you will keep acquiring the same situations as "lessons" until you do. Another personand situation will be sent your way as another test and opportunity for you to pass it and release it for good. The test will keep coming until YOU handle it independently and trust in yourself and become enlightened. Once you develope your higher vibration you can attract the same frewuency and you will think differently about requesting info and answers from ones who do not hold the truth in your situations becuase no one holds the truth to you or your partners.
Librachild last edited by
To Crystal0227: I just read your post of 12/8. I don't know if I can give you any advice, but I'm kinda in the same situation as you. My best friend is a Cancer male as well, and I don't know what it is about him but I also am so addicted to him. There's this great force that draws me to him (I'm Libra). And each time we have a disagreement/misunderstanding/fight and we break up, after a week or two we're back together again. Mind, body and soul I'm crazy on this man. But we had a big fight a few days ago and I feel now I've lost him, after nearly 2 yrs of being together and getting closer and closer. I've just posted "I'm Heartbroken". Hope you'll read it. Actually, I will say this: follow your heart. if you two guys can't stay away from one another, then you should be together. But not while you're married. It's not fair on the other spouse. Get divorced first, which is very painful on one partner at least. I know I've been through it. But I wish you the best.
Iriane last edited by
i dunno wat to say to u i am in a similar situation, i'm married to a Libra man and I am Taurus. my marriage has been close to ending several times as my husband had affairs. i hung in there, however, one of my best friends is a Cancer man and we had a passionate affair lasting 10 months. he ended it but it neva really ended to start a new relationship with his gf who has since moved in wit him. he means a lot to me i fell for him big time. my marriage is over but i cant get out of it and my cancer friend is moving on wit his gf only he's not moving on as he still has feelings for me and we still get together no matr how we try to stay apart. i think hes afraid to take a chance on me as i'm still married and he's settling for wat he has now. i am of course doin the same. my heart says Cancer but my head has me stuck were i am. i wud give anything for a chance at a proper relationship with this man, the connection between us was incredible and 2 years later its like the first day he still has the same effect of me. in the meantime he is happy enuf with his new gf and i cant tell if he felt the same for me as i did for him. so all i can say is follow ur heart and it wont lead u astray.....best of luck
ariesram last edited by
You took wedding vows did you not?
Librachild last edited by
Why do we have to have these complications in our lives? Why can't we be with the one man we love - heart, body and soul? I was told by one of my psychics that in a promising relationship there always lurk these forces beyond our control that step in and try to mess things up for us, or words to that effect.
Iriane last edited by
so did my husband take wedding vows, however apparently they did not mean the same to him. i remained faithful to my husband over the course of 13 years b4 during an after his 2 affairs both of which resulted in children to 2 different women. not to mention the string of one night stands thru online dating sites and other indiscretions. I asked him to leave on several occasions and he told me that as long as he was paying the mortgage he wud remain in the house and do wat he liked and if i chose to see someone else that was fine. we reconciled and i can say with a clear concience that i did my best, however, i never dreamed i would hav a chance of happiness with someone else, a close friend whom i did not think thought of me in that way. wateva it is about my Cancer friend I hav neva felt this way about another. i just wish life cud be simpler librachild and i would like a chance at happiness.
Okay, so let me clarify a few things for you all. I have never physically cheated on my husband. In fantasies yes; in emotional ways, yes. I married very young, right out of high school and spent the last 10 years trying to make things work. My husband and I separated for about four months and during that time, my Cancer best friend was there. He was my rock and my biggest "safe haven" from pain. He stepped into the role of protector just like always. I had a chance to be with him and I chose not to for the sake of my kids. I have since reconciled and tried to be as honest with my husband as I can be. He has been abusive and unfortunately, I am stuck right now. I have no resources without him and I can't just up and leave my kids behind. I won't do it! My friend is married and I know it's wrong to try to persue something with him and thus far, we have kept all "wondering" strictly as words. But as you all know, these Cancers are slick and suave. He and I both try our best to keep things platonic but the emotions between us make our conversations more intimate than any I have ever had with my husband. He and I share a deep spiritual bond and I mean to the point we are empathic with one another. We are telepathic with each other and we just KNOW things we shouldn't or couldn't possibly know about each other. That makes things quite hard for both of us. Our friendship is blurry because we act as if we belong to each other. We, I feel, are twin flames. We meet the criteria for such. When we are together, there is nobody else and nothing matters more than our friendship to either of us. While his Leo wife tears him down, I build him up. While my Scorpio husband rips me apart inside, my Cancer knits me back together. We challenge each other, we aggravate each other and we care deeply for each other. We are both tempted to take the relationship into forbidden territory and it is a struggle not to. We try to stay away from each other but we can't. We try to "behave" in conversations and we fail. Our attraction to each other is so much more than physical because we have yet to cross that line but emotionally, we have been involved for almost 2 years. We tell each other everything. I mean EVERYTHING... My question is this: how can something that feels so right be wrong? Even with the situation being as it is... I am torn between being the woman I was raised to be: honest and loyal and faithful and being the woman I want to be: HIS in every way. It is driving me crazy!
I appreciate the replies and I see what each of you are trying to say. I too, feel like I need to be divorced and I am trying to do just that. It's taking time and in the meantime, my bond with this Cancer man is growing. I was with him a couple of days ago and it took everything I had not to touch him. He knew it and felt the same. We managed to keep our contact to playful pokes in the ribs, slaps on the arm, three tight hugs that left no doubt what our bodies longed to do and a few heated moments of eye contact that had someone not broken, i feel sure would have led to more contact. I am sorry for those who are suffering as I am. I wish we all could just be with who we want and the complications exist but that is life I guess. Keep talking to me though... you all are helping. Thanks again!
DeeDee1970 last edited by
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Wow. I feel your pain in your words. My husband too, is a Scorpio, and we've been married for 11 years. He did stray, once that I know of and more that I suspect. He's cold and hateful and I did everything I could to try to make the marriage work. My Cancer, on the other hand, just re-connected a year ago with his high school sweetheart and thought she was how he could "fix" what was "broken" inside of him. I, of course, disagreed and it turned out I was right. I mean, he told me about a month ago, he felt he had jumped the gun. Two days ago, he said that he thinks the reason she married him was to ensure she had someone who wouldn't leave. My heart breaks for his pain. I want him happy and that's all. Whether with his wife, me, or someone else; it doesn't matter. He says the same for my life. When we are together, the feelings for each other come out. We do whatever we can to fight the attraction but it's so hard to resist him. I tried to walk away about a week ago and he, in typical Cancer fashion, tried to pretend it didn't bother him until I asked him. Then the conversation turned personal and about feelings and it became quite clear he doesn't want to lose me. I just don't know what to do. He has me twisted in knots and all I want is to be with him. I hope it all works out for you as well! May we both get our elusive crabs and live happily ever after (lol).