Desperate plea for help..... help me find some answers....



  • I am a piscean born on the 28th of feb 1979, my partner was born on 26th of feb 1976. We both are pisces, he’s 34 & I am 31. We have been in a long distance though very loving relationship for 5 long years, despite differences in our religions & our nationalities. We had thought we will overcome the cultural barriers with time. And, both of us endured a lot of hardships. But unfortunately, things deteriorated post april this year, due to immense pressure from his family. The communication reduced, and after putting up a brave fight, my partner, started falling weak, and eventually under severe pressure gave into demands of his family and married someone from their community.

    What hurts me the most, was he never faced me since, he didn’t even tell me he got married. In his last mail to me, he said he had no courage to look into my eyes or face me, but he loves me a lot and will never be able to love anyone else ever…..

    ….no matter how upset I am right now, I want to believe him, every word he’s uttered …. Believe me it was the most satiating bond, very fulfilling, I felt complete with him, and we could feel each other’s presence strongly despite the physical distance…. there were times, when I would be thinking of him, and the very next second I would receive his call…. it was something that I am unable to explain….. I really feel, very strongly, we ARE soulmates…..

    I am devastated now, feel at severe loss, feel completely shakened from within…. I have all kinds of thought running in my mind… and sometimes I think if he even loved me all these years. I don’t want to believe that he didn’t. For I feel, he would have not waited this long, if he wanted to leave anyway.

    I am completely at loss…. and am left with no sense to understand the situation….. I am very desperately trying to get some answers atleast…. I Ching is one such attempt to get some sense into everything that has come my way though I have no clue how it works….

    My question, “Will ________- come back to me for good?”

    The reading I received is,

    Judgement Caption

    02 K’un The Receptive

    Judgement Text

    The Receptive brings about sublime success,

    Furthering through the perseverance of a mare.

    If the superior man undertakes something and tries to lead,

    He goes astray;

    But if he follows, he finds guidance.

    It is favorable to find friends in the west and south,

    To forego friends in the east and north.

    Quiet perseverance brings good fortune.

    Image Text

    The earth’s condition is receptive devotion.

    Thus the superior man who has breadth of character

    Carries the outer world.

    Please help me understand this, give me some insight, and please let me know, if we have any chance of getting back together again… I really believed, he was my soulmate, and I am not able to believe, we will never see each other again in life…… please help! I really need some guidance…. God Bless….



  • Hello Deevee, just saw this, someone will help you, unfortunately family often times plays a huge parts in choosing their children's mates in some countries. I only wish the best for you no matter what happens and just know that if it's meant to BE whether tomorrow or 1000 tomorrows it will be, anything could happen. I think you should move on in the meantime take one day at a day and notice everything around you! Good Luck!



  • Dear deevee,

    The man did love you and everything he said he meant it from his heart. He could not overcome his family and what was expected of him from them, he is from a culture where the family makes deceisions for their children and when they become adults they are to follow though with what is expected from them no matter their personal feelings, or disgrace the family and disrespect the traditions that their family members also had to endure.

    He will always be with you in spirit no matter the distance or place as love has no boundries . You will have this wonderful memory of him to carry with you and touch it when you want to feel all of the love you had for one another.

    Life is not always about what we want and think is right for us. We all have a distiny to live out and yours my dear must include a man that again you will give your love and heart to, and be joined in marriage and have children. You will mend and find this man in your life sooner than you may be ready for . I hear the name of Jasper or Jason here. Are you in the US? I feel that you will have a son that will be multi talanted and will fly a plane as a hobby for himself, he will be very gifted in many areas of life--music, art, electronic parts and computers, he will also write books. Spirit wants you to know that this saddness you carry now within you will vanish soon and you will be on your way to person fullfillment.

    If you need to talk or ask any other questions. I'm here.

    Blessings to You

    Shuabby



  • Dear Shuabby....

    I need a hug! I read your mail, and every word made me cry!

    I don't know who you are...... but everything you said about,

    " .....feel that you will have a son that will be multi talanted and will fly a plane as a hobby for himself, he will be very gifted in many areas of life--music, art, electronic parts and computers, he will also write books. "

    My partner, loved flying RC planes, and had a huge collection of it, he would show all of it to me with great interest and he always wanted me to fly those planes..... he loved gadgets & computers and was always upto something or the other..... he would always guide me fix any of mess....... and BOOKS..... well I write for a living..... and you know what, for some reason I always felt OUR first baby would be a male child.

    The baby you have described, is exactly the one, we thought we would have together! It breaks my heart...... how precise you have been in saying this about me.......

    I also want you to read a reply, I posted on another forum on the same..... might help you understand, what my biggest grievance is......

    "Dear Swat4u,

    It was really kind of you to have bothered to go through my post...... everything you say definitely makes sense..... but I dont know how do I gather pieces of my life on my own...... I am not left with much strength..... On the exterior, I have always been a fiercely independent & strong person all my life, always sure of decisions I made...... but deep down inside me I know how many scars I have.... and for how long I have been trying to heal those wounds.....

    Recurring personal loss, seems to define my life! Everytime I loved, I lost! [Not strictly a romantic alliance!]

    So far, everytime I lost, I gathered strength and kept walking..... but this time around, it seems too difficult...... for the first few days I just couldn't cry, for I was too numb..... and now I can't stop myself from grieving all the time..... You know, when things got too difficult, 2 weeks back, (when my partner almost hit the bottom, and I had to figure out things at his end, from his uncle - that my partner's step father had stopped communicating with my partner's Mum to trick him into getting onto his agenda of marrying a friend's daughter, and not me...!) I stepped forward, and asked both my partner and his mother, to not put themselves through much pain & take a wise decision.

    I knew, I might lose him, but at that point of time, I couldn't see him suffer. The next thing, I was communicated by his uncle was that my partner was getting married, as per his father's wishes.

    I sacrificed my happiness, my dreams, my life, for my partner's MOTHER!

    Now I am told by everyone (like you have) to let go off everything, for now there's a 3rd person involved, HIS WIFE!!!

    I wonder, so strange are the ways of world..... I loved, I sacrificed, I lost and nobody ever thought even for once, that I am the one who's battered completely, brutally & needs all the love, concern, security & comfort.

    But instead, not one, but all, have asked me to think of others, who apparently wronged me! Betrayed my faith......

    I wonder, why is God & everyone is being so harsh on me??? I am too ordinary..... though I did everything I could.... I gave whatever I had..... everything I wanted was snatched away from me brutally...... nobody then cared, for how would I survive the pain...... not God, not the man I loved, not his mother, not anybody!

    Earlier, I was asked to be considerate towards my partner & his mother's trauma, & now his WIFE.... 🙂 .... it kills me..... I think, its only them who's got a life, who get affected, I probably, have no soul, no heart, no life!

    God & people alike, make me feel, am dead! "

    ..... in complete honesty, I swear & say, your words make me cry..... I bless you with all my heart Shuabby..... thank you for being my angel...... God Bless You......

    Much Affection & a Warm Hug!

    Deevee....



  • Dear Poetic555

    I think it's because of people like you, Shuabby and everyone around who care for others, that the world continues to spin on its axis. I have hit the bottom, and I am feeling very fragile with the increasing burden of pain on my weak shoulders...... I can't even speak to anybody about it.... everyone's anyway worried about me...... it's a very lonely ordeal for me...... I have been randomly posting this everywhere possible on the net to get some answers...... I very badly want to survive this..... for my folks love me a lot..... I can't punish them for wrongs of others, who never bothered to look back..... Yes, I am bitter & angry & hurt...... I feel betrayed, I feel my faith was betrayed...... but despite the mess, I don't have the heart to believe, the man I loved was not worth the effort! Deep down my heart, I know, he loved me! Wish he had gathered some courage to share everything with me upfront......

    .....I don't have much left on me, except hope! And I thank you from the deepest of my heart, for adding your bit to it...... will never forget this kind gesture..... thank you for being my angel..... thank you for giving me an outlet...... May god bless you & May all your dreams come true..... Much love & affection.... Many Thanks....Deevee...



  • Ahh, Deevee you have touched my heart, what a nice thing to say, just know that you are not alone, it happens quite often, we have all been in love and have had our hearts broken whether by lovers or even friends and family, this too you shall overcome with no regrets, it sounds beautiful and I believe the next love affair will be just as for you, I belive you are still young enough to find love, never too late for love and it will conquer all in the end, I believe that, you just may have something better coming. Think about this too, the family may have made things very difficult for your marraige and if he couldn't stand up to them, you would not have bee too happy.

    I'm sending you my love and light! Stay busy and dont' look back to much, it will get easier, any time I ever had a break up, going up was the cure for me. Put on some make up and get pretty and get going, doesn't mean you not still hurting, time will heal. 🙂



  • That was so nice Shuabby!



  • Dear deevee,

    If you were in a group of people suffering from the loss of a loved one. You would hear how they loved that person with all of their heart and what they did to show their love for them.

    We all have love to give put in us from our maker. When Christ was hung up on the cross , a lot of people ask Where was God? His answer was I was there the same as you were. This answer shows that we all even his son have a distiny that must be followed when we are born.

    Some of us suffer more so than others it is true. Why? My personal belief is that it makes us learn how to appreiate all the good things that come our way. I also believe that when we die we will be rewarded for the suffering just like Jesus was. We will be on a higher spiritual level perhaps even an angel.

    I have loved and lost people, pets, friends at a young age. I remember them now with great love in my heart and I know that they are watching over me still from above . I am married but live far away from my family, at times my heart cries for the loss. I have learned that now my friends I make mean so much more to me and I have learned to be a better friend for it.

    What is happening to you deevee is called The School Of Life and now you are enduring a very heart felt lesson. Grieve all you need to , even get angry , soon you will feel peace as we all do afterwards. Than you will I promise you love again.

    I'm sending you the biggest heartfelt HUG, because I know how you feel.

    Love

    Shuabby



  • Shuabby, you know I never had a moment of respite all my life!

    As a child, I was always on my own! My parents were a little more protective & pampering of my siblings, since they always felt I was relatively stronger & would tackle situations myself. Unknowingly, they made me walk on my own.

    .....Since, I was always on my own, doing things I wanted to do. But you know what, though it took me a little longer than others, I always got the best of all..... things that were not within reach of most around me.... things that people could only dream of!

    .....Like I missed going to some good universities by an inch, only to get selected to THE BEST university around, much to everyone's envy & surprise!

    ......I knew it in my heart, God was rewarding me for everything I had endured with grace! And I was so happy, filled with renewed faith & strength!

    But now, it seems God felt exactly the same, my parents did about me!

    (......And the funny thing is, I have always felt that I have lived a very "Dramatic" life so far! Like a feature film screenplay, where "Conflict" faced by the protagonist & the "Struggle" the protagonist endures, drives the story & proves his heroism!)

    .....On the very day I was suppose to graduate, I had to rush back home on the first possible flight.... for my father had a cardiac arrest (out of nowhere, he was perfectly fine) and he passed away within minutes! I didn't even get speak to him, I was not even by his side when he left....

    ....You see, even before I could share the joys of my biggest acheivement ever, with the man I loved the most, everything was snatched away from me, and very rudely!

    I could never share any of my works with my father, and it all looked so worthless now, I loved my father the most, and since I had shifted out to study at the university, my bond with my father had grown all the more stronger, we had missed each other so badly! Infact, both of us were counting days for my graduation.... he had promised me he'll come down to take me back home! But God didn't let him fulfill his promise!

    .......this entire experience was too traumatic for me! I chose to go back home, and stayed back with my mum, to see her through the worst period of our lives! I almost closed myself to the confines of my room. And that is when I got speaking to this man. He was my only communication to the outside world! I still remember, he spoke to me continuously even when I barely uttered anything more than random monosyllables..... he had no reason to bear me for long but strangely enough he never gave up! He was patient, he was warm and he encouraged me to speak! Now I had someone, I could share my grief with!

    (.....We were indeed each other's angel in guise..... while he help me deal with my sorrow.... he was a lonely man too.... away from his family.... lived on foreign shores to make a decent living..... he was dealing with an illness.... infact I went about consulting doctors for him, made him speak to doctors and sent him medicines for about 2 months..... it was all very selfless..... we were plain happy doing things for each other......)

    I don't even remember, when exactly did we fall in love...... I hardly noticed the transition, it all looked so natural..... and we strongly felt, always, that we had known each other for all our lives!

    ......Infact, though now it may look "whatever" to others, I still feel it was all very innocent..... (....the two of us are true pisceans.... and we loved living our dream.... which looked ridiculous to most practical people around us.... like both our families resisted to our alliance.....) Nobody realised, it was this affection, that got me out of my self imposed confinement.... that made me limp back to life, all over again...... I was now out & working, and doing too well for myself...... infact this month, I was about to close a very big & lucrative assignment, when this entire episode happened, & I closed myself to the world.

    .......anyway, so now I am back to square one, loved & lost again! Now all I can do is laugh, I have realised God loves to put me through acid tests, every now & then. Everytime, I let my guards down, and feel now I'll be fine and begin to move ahead in life with all my confidence, he hits me hard and brings me down. It's always very sudden..... always a rude & brutal stab! It always leaves me numb & impaired, for a long time to come......

    ......I fought back, everytime I was tested! It took me lot of determination, (.....and believe me, I am a very strong person, though I know it doesn't come out that well from the mails I have posted here..... ) I never gave up, because I always had hope! I always had faith!

    ......However, now that I have realised a recurring pattern of loss in my life, I am scared, this is not going to change ever! I have realised God gave me things, only to snatch them away from me..... and well before I could sink in the joy of receiving it! It hurts a lot, and I doubt if I have the strength to endure another loss in this lifetime..... I seek nothing now! I don't want anything now, for simple reasons.....

    .......Now I don't expect him to give me a thing! I don't want anything from him..... he can continue doing what he's been doing...... he's really made me very strong...... and at the end of it all, no matter how many beatings you get, you die only once! So I am all ready now, to take it all...... I don't seek his love, his affection, his blessings, his care, his justice, his fairness anymore..... Infact, like I have forgiven others who wronged me, I forgive him as well....! He can rest in peace, and rejoice!

    And for you & everything you did for me Shuabby, I really want to send you, all the positive energy I am left with, I hope you get into a fruitful situation, where everything you want comes together, I hope you get to reunite with your family, very very soon, and for good! You deserve it, every bit.....

    ....And, please tell me what prompted you to say those specific details about the baby..... it left me speechless..... you know, all my life, even when I was in school, I always wanted to have a baby...... and I have always felt so drawn to them.....!

    Lots & lots of love,

    Deevee



  • Dear deevee,

    Sometimes people do get angry at God for how their lives are flowing and happening. I myself never got angry with God because I understand that he is not on this earthplane with us , he lives in our hearts. You must in prayer ask for his help as we all have freewill in which to make our choices for life. When we stumble and fall, than a lot of us will call upon our heavenly father for help. He will answer in his time and his way and yes even in his own timing. That is why it is said to always be pleasent to strangers you meet because you may be entertaining an angel.

    God does love you deevee, as he helped you and the man you love to find each other at a time that you much needed it, we must also keep in mind that we can not have what is not distine to us. Like you said you always received something better when something you wanted was just within your reach. You are so blessed to have a father you loved and he you. Not all of us have that kind of relationship with our fathers. Not being able to say good-bye to him would have been so disappointing and heartbreaking, just remember this: He was there in spirit in that room with you and he watched and felt your sorrow and love. He is still with you and I know sometimes when you pick up a book you remember him, and this lifts your heart.

    I'm clairvoyant and psychic so when I tune into your questions and situation than I start to receive spirit messages for you. I received the message about the baby for you to give you hope and a glance for what your future will bring. My gifts are growing and I feel so rewarded to have been given them from my heavenly father, so that I can share them with you and those in need of spiritual help and guidence.

    From My Heart to Yours With Hope For Your Future

    Shuabby



  • 🙂



  • Dear Deevee,

    Something you wrote resonated with me and I'd like to address it.

    "...you know I never had a moment of respite all my life!"

    There's a reason for this, much bigger than you can personally imagine right now. It is clear you have a wide and beautiful purpose on this earth, one that is tremendously fulfilling, but not if it has to compete with the stranglehold your ego has on the soul energy that is trying to flow through you. The things you feel you need -- recognition, success,ease, the partner of your choice with whom you feel complete -- will come through you once you are able to let go of the war inside your mind. You have a breakthrough of immense proportions building inside, yet these long-standing thoughts -- of loss, unfairness of life etc... -- which generate even more bad feelings, are the cause of your continued painful experience of life.

    You personally would not have been given these challenges if you did not already contain vast strengths and gifts to guide & support and nurture yourself through them -- and beyond! The point here is, what you THINK you want is in direct continued conflict with what is actually available to you. Life isn't giving you what you want for a reason, and your higher self (soul, etc) knows what will satisfy you long-term, IF you will only pay attention to the clear messages attesting to this fact, and which are all around you. You aren't getting what you want because what you want doesn't serve you or others. Example: your ex has not developed his spiritual maturity yet. There's nothing you can do about that but learn from it, and count yourself lucky that the relationship didn't continue.

    What you desire will come to you but it's not going to arrive in the package you now imagine for yourself. It will come far more beautifully than you can imagine. First, however, you have some sobering interior work to accomplish. I suggest you begin with cataloging the strengths you gained from early losses. For example, did your parents lack of attention cause you to gain self-reliance? compassion? Set a goal for yourself to find out.

    There's a message I share with God when these times appear in my life and I invite you to use it. "You know God, I'm done with this sort of thing." This is a powerful, clear message. Use it without emotion or rancor, and with great respect. The key to understanding ourselves and life is that we none of us are in charge and never have been.

    You'll be fine. You have always been fine, and you are fine right now.

    Love and light,

    Shira