In need of advice (please)

  • MagicandSparkles,

    George Stearman was a legendary businessman, a great success in America. He began as an IBM salesman of typewriters and within ten years his sales and executive leadership was so outstanding that he became sales director for all office products and small computers for a nine-state area from Texas to California. When Xerox expanded into computers he was lured away to their corporate headquarters outside New York and within ten years of record achievement he was national sales director for Xerox. With a position on the executive committee all he lacked before the presidency was a seat on the board of directors.

    He had a beautiful wife and three children in college and a house in Darien, Connecticut, that looked like Mount Vernon. Then, on Christmas Eve, when the other chief executives had all gone off to the Bahamas, Florida or Aspen for the holidays, George went into the office to get his year-end pay check with the expected large bonus. When he opened his pay check, instead of a big bonus he had a check for severence pay. He was fired.

    George felt totally destroyed but made it home after a few martinis. When he opened the door, there was a note on the Christmas tree that said: "George, I've had it. I want a divorce. The children and I are gone!"

    Blindly he went back to the city, got himself thoroughly drunk, took the elevator to the top of the Empire State Building and was about to jump off when he felt a small tug on his pants leg. He looked back -- there stood Santa Claus.

    George said, "Santa, get lost! Get away! I've lost everything! My job is on the rocks and my wife and children have left me!"

    Santa replied, "Wait, George, I'll give you two wishes if you give me one."

    "Okay," said George, "I want my wife and kids."

    "No problem," said Santa, "in two days they will be back."

    "Great!" exclaimed George. "What about my job?"

    "Well," said Santa, "there has been a power play. You just wait until New Year and you will be the director of Xerox."

    "Wow!" said George, "That's great! And what can I do for you?"

    "Well," said Santa, unzipping his fly, "my wish is for you to give me a blow job."

    "What!" screamed George. "I'm forty-five years old and I've never done a thing like that!"

    "Well," said Santa, "a deal is a deal!"

    After George had finished, Santa zipped up his fly. Looking up George saw tears streaming down Santa's face. "What's wrong?" he asked.

    Santa looked down at George and said, "It is rather touching to find a forty-year-old man still believing in Santa Claus!"

    Happy New Year 🙂

  • Haha that is hilarious!

  • MagicandSparkles,

    life is ridiculous, you never know what is going to happen, it is absurd.

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