Captain can you do a compatability reading for me?

  • My birthday is March 9, 1981 and his is July 19, 1981. We've been friends since childhood, and for about a year we've had an off and on "friends with benefits" relationship. It has definitely had its ups and downs. I want more and I think he's scared of his feelings for me. Everytime I get close or things are going good, he seems to do something to mess it up. Maybe he's just not into me that much. I just want to know if this has any hope of going anywhere or if we should just remain regular friends.

  • As different as you two are, your relationship should be relaxed, natural and easy for the most part. Each person compensates for the other's weaknesses without stress or strain. You Piscestam are strong on introspection and will influence your friend to develop his more sensitive and spiritual side. His social strengths will help you come into more meaningful contact with others. Thus the relationship will amend your difficulties - your friend's inability to get in touch with his feelings and your tendency to isolate yourself. Actually you both risk becoming too dependent on each other and on the relationship so it might not be a bad thing if your friend distances himself from time to time (as Cancers are wont to do when they feel stressed by life or responsibility). While he is away, you should get on with your own interests and life, rather than worrying too much over him. Dependency would weaken and even break the whole relationship. You two must concentrate on assimilating what you learn into your characters so that you can augment your personal growth as individuals and interact with others more effectively.

    In a love affair or marriage here, each person is usually open to the other, psychologically and physically. There is a sensuous earthy connection between you. The relationship's practical grounded outlook benefits both of you, particularly you Piscestam who are a bit of a dreamer and you sometimes have difficulty discharging everyday responsibilities. You both seek out each other and the relationship as a relief from the stresses of other aspects of your lives. However unless you both deepen the relationship, it might prove ineffective and superficial in times of crisis or need. In the long run, it can be beneficial for the two of you to face problems and difficulties together, for this will create closer ties and foster understanding.

    Your friend was born with a need to be detached so any closeness in a relationship tends to scare him. He is an intelligent, talented, mentally-oriented person who needs to develop more of his feeling/intuitive side. You must be understanding and allow him the retreat and solitude he needs from time to time to cope with overwhelm and stress. He also craves excitement in his life from time to time and may experience extremes of mood and manic swings of emotions. His issues may include an obsession with being creative and sexually desirable, and a fear of being trapped by his own needs for love and sex. Any neediness or clinging on your part will drive him away for good. If you can't handle this, then this relationship is not for you.

  • thank u so much! ur dead on with that. it describes us perfectly. my cousin is having a similar issue with her friend. can u do a reading for her? her birthday is jan 28, 1985 and her friends bday is feb 17, 1984. thank u so much!

  • For your cousin: The partners in this relationship may discover that they are without deep social needs and that they prefer to stand outside ordinary human interactions, as observers rather than participants. They will rarely feel isolated however, although they will have to be careful not to neglect their responsibilities to family and friends. Should your cousin take the lead in this relationship, her friend may feel a bit frustrated at being left out of the decision-making, so it is wise for power to be shared as equally as possible. Her friend may tend to be rather defensive around your cousin, standing somewhat in awe of her mental powers and leadership ability. Yet he usually tends to have a deeper emotional understanding of things than she does and therefore has much to teach his gifted partner.

    In romance this combination can be volatile and somewhat impulsive, even rash. This is particularly true in a love affair which can be entered into hastily, only to leave both partners with a regret that they didn't exercise greater patience and forethought. Should they contemplate marriage, they should give themselves plenty of time to get to know one another first. Of particular interest will be how they will divide responsibilities ranging from money-making to domestic management. There can be some sensitivity about success here - this pair may compete with each other to achieve greater recognition and higher status or salaries. Although their competition can be playful, it also has a serious edge, which they should discuss and phase out as much as possible. Status is less important than involvement.

    Your cousin's friend is an unusual, creative, and original thinker who may nevertheless have trouble communicating with others and expressing himself. His personal sensitivity would do well to transform into empathy for other people. Personal touchiness or an aggressive chip-on-the-shoulder attitude can hinder his progress and cause him to isolate himself, due to his feelings of being misunderstood. His sense of chronic alienation can be his undoing. He can love humanity but not be able to stand people. When he is in love, he may pretend it is only friendship, due to his obsession with being rebellious and restless and his fear of losing his independence. Maintaining a sense of humour and greater objectivity in his dealings with others, refining his style of communication, and trying to share himself more will lead to more successful relationships.

  • thanx so much 🙂 . my friend once asked me why am i so nice? he said it scared him. what does that even mean? Im pretty good at reading people and I get the feeling that he's scared of his feelings for me which would also help explain why he pushes me away when I get close. He once told me that he would always love me no matter how the situation turned out. right now we're kind of on the outs for the millionth time. I apologized for my part in the disagreement which I always do, when he's the one who started the whole thing by not being there for me when I needed him. I feel like I cant express myself freely to him. Im wondering if Im communicating wrong. Im very direct and he goes all around a subject before he gets to the point. I usually reach out to him but for some reason I just feel like I should leave him alone and let him come for me when and if he's ready. I havent contacted him in about a week. considering the type of person he is, do you think im handling this correctly?

  • Hi Captain, Interesting posts here. Is your description of the Feb 17 soul true for all Aquarius? I am interested in someone born Feb. 5 1970, and myself Nov. 14, 1974. I have five planets in scorpio and am used to steering the ship, so to speak. I realized that has been my downfall in the past as it led to relationships (and even a marraige) that I'm beginning to see were heartbreakingly one sided - despite others playing the victims. It saddens me on such a deep level that I am only now beginning to crawl out from under the rock of guilt and shame that I felt by driving the divorce, etc. (OK, who's playing the victim now 😉 ) I'm in a much better place now, but hindsight can sometimes be a royal blessing and a curse.

    The post by Poetic555 is interesting as well in regard to the Akashic reading. I have felt a very strong presence of angels the past few weeks and am doing what I can to roll with the beautiful unexpected events of Uranus. I think all people would benfit by working with the astrological elements rather than against them - as hard as they may sometimes be.

    Anyway, just thought I'd comment on the post. In regard to Poetic's summary of the universe highlighting what's out of balance - that could not be closer to the truth. In see in myself and am surprised at how much I am picking it up in others' lives, too.

    Be well, my friend, and seek balance and harmony everywhere you tread.


  • No, this description will not cover all Aquarians, Spygirl. I can do you a separate reading if you create your own thread. Just click on the 'create a new topic' button at the top right of this thread.

  • Piscestam, you are what you are and your friend is what he is. You are expecting and wanting him to do things like you do. Tjhat's not fair. You either accept him as he is or you find someone who is more like you.

  • Did as requested! You can find the post here:

  • Piscestam, you might find this article from the Daily OM website helpful to ponder :-

    "A relationship, in the truest sense of the word, means relating to another. Usually when we say that we relate to someone, it is because we've found common ground. But part of relating is finding ways to make ideas that seem different come together. So often when we choose relationships, we try to fit another person into our predetermined ideal. When they don't fit perfectly, we may try to make them over, creating our own vision from the raw material they've brought. But unless someone asks for guidance and direction, entering into a relationship with someone we want to change is dishonest. Then our relationship becomes with someone we've imagined, and anytime our partner steps outside of that imaginary projection, we will be disappointed. An honest relationship is one in which we accept each other as whole individuals, and find a way to share our life experiences together. Then, whenever we want, we can choose as a couple to give the relationship a makeover by renewing the way we interact.

    By wanting to give another person a makeover, we are basically saying we don't accept them for who they are. If we take a moment to imagine the roles reversed, we can get a sense of how it would feel if our beloved only committed to us because they thought we were, or would become, someone else entirely. In such an environment, we are not relating to each other from a real place, and we are keeping ourselves from being able to learn and grow from the different viewpoints that our partners offer.

    If we feel that a change is needed in our relationship, the only makeover that we truly have the power to make is on ourselves. By accepting our partners for exactly who they are - the ideal and the not-so-ideal - we will create an energetic shift in our relationships, and we may find ourselves really appreciating our partners for the first time. Working from within, we determine how we relate to the people and the world around us, and when we can accept it and embrace it all, without conditions, we make every act of relating a positive one."

  • thanks for that. my friend and i actually talked yesterday and just realized we both want two different things right now in our lives. he wants something more open and i want something more committed. we tried to do the friends with benefits things and i think that just made things more complicated. there were too many feelings involved to do something that should be considered casual sex. we just werent getting along and we felt it was important to just take a serious break from each other. we said i love u to each other and that was that. im happy with the way things went, and im glad they ended on good terms especially since he's not big on saying i love u but when he says it he means it. i dont feel like this is the end for us. i feel in my heart that we will come together again when the time is right and things will be better, whether its just a regular friendship or something more, but im really looking forward to this time away from him to reflect on things that werent working, and to focus on bettering myself and just living my life and doing things for me.

  • im gonna miss him sooo much! but i understand i need to give him his space, or else i'll ruin any chance we may have in the future. it will definitely be a test of will power for me.

  • This post is deleted!

  • captain i sent him this letter before i stopped contact. knowing wut u do about his sign do you think its something he would appreciate? its just things i never told him and i honestly wanted him to know.

    there are some thoughts i need to tell u that i never have and u deserve the right to know. i need to finally get them off my chest and spill my heart out and just be honest as to what i really think about you.

    "kdv" i think u are one of the most amazing people i have ever met in my whole life. after all the silly stupid shit we've been through, all the dumb arguments, all the horrible things i have ever said to u, u have NEVER EVER called me out of my name, and have NEVER EVER said anything even close to the horrible things that ive said to u. things i didnt mean but said out of anger and frustration. still no excuse. the fact that u even say ONE WORD to me after that shows wut a beautiful heart u have no matter how much of a tough guy u act like. u have truly seen me at my worse and its not something im proud of, and yet u can still say u love me. how awesome is that?

    u have gone thru things and been put under pressures that a lesser person would have cracked under, and yet u still carry urself with dignity and pride. u are truly a good man. a real man. u live up to that chain i bought u every single day. nobody is more deserving to wear those words. who wouldnt be attracted to someone like that? ur like a magnet to me. maybe i cant help but be attracted to u because i know at the end of the day you have made me a better person and still continue to. i have learned so much from u and im still learning, how to be forgiving, how to be patient (which i suck at), how to be confident, i could go on and on...we're the same age and i feel like ur so much wiser than me! i have been acting like a spoiled brat because i wanted u, and u wouldnt let me have u (lol) but its only because i appreciate and love u very much and i know i will be SUPER jealous of whoever u choose to give ur heart to one day because in my opinion she will be the luckiest girl in the world. i see what an asset u have become to MY life, and i dont want to lose that. i stressed over the little things without looking at the bigger picture and almost lost and completely pushed away the friend im trying so hard to keep. and at times by ignoring me it has helped me (which i hate to admit) because it forced me to be alone with my thoughts and get a freakin clue and face reality. thanks for time spent with me, and the love shown and shared, and thanks for just being u. u deserve everything good this world has left to offer. thats all i needed to say. u know me. i just HAVE to get my feelings out there lol. now im really gonna leave u alone like i said (for a little while) and take some time to work on myself. be good while im gone 😜

  • It actually comes across as very intense and a little scary because it implies you will never let him go and may even turn into a stalker.

  • that is def not wut i was going for. and im def not the stalker type. maybe it wont come across to him like im stalking him when i actually dont contact him. we've always dealt with each other in an intense way and had intense convos and all that before we even took our friendship to the next level and we've been "special friends" going on 2 years. hes said to me that i was an asset to HIS life. i always acted like he never contributed anything to our friendship, and he also said to me that when we had discussions i never honestly expressed myself so i just wanted him to know wut i really thought about him. we will always see each other because our families are very close. his aunt is married to my uncle, our grandmothers are best friends, its not like we wont have contact. omg...i hope i havent messed everything up.

  • hi captain! me again 🙂

    I have an update for you. Im no longer even entertaining the thought of being with the cancer guy. If a friendship in the future with him happens so be it but honestly im at the point where it doesnt bother me not to have him in my life because in the long run i know its better for me. that being now talking to a really wonderful man. he's older than me, much older than im used to dating but hes soooo wonderful! ive only been talking to him for about two weeks so its still very new. i feel i made lots of mistakes with my last "friendship" and i dont want to do the same with this one. is this something i should give a shot?

    his bday is 2/19/71 and mine is 3/9/81

    thanks for all your help!

  • Piscestam, this relationship is best for friendship and worst for love. There is lots of energy here. The focus of the relationship is a kind of steady stream of emotional expression which seems inexhaustible. You two can go on producing or contributing for years on end without getting tired or running yourselves into the ground. Rather than feeling stressed, or pushing obstacles aside, you seem to be able to plug into some kind of universal energy source that carries you along with little effort. You both have a natural feeling for the right time for an action to take place, so that you will usually have the patience to wait and to sense the best moment to make your move. You rarely discuss or even verbalize these concepts but rather will live them quite instinctively.

    Friendship is especially favoured here. Involvement or interest in artistic pursuits, especially music, dance and the performing arts, is typical of this combination. Together your creativity is high and is not of the kind that imitates other people's; instead, it tends to strike out on its own. Working to establish its unique vision within a given field of endeavour and aiming for recognition and financial reward is characteristic of this relationship. The success of a working relationship depends on your ability to get along emotionally. You will sometimes want to be left to your own devices, and this can make being your work partner difficult for your friend, who is often then left with extra work and will resent it.

    A love affair or marriage here is rarely calm, since in these kinds of relationships you both provoke and overreact to each other. These responses are hardly positive ones, and in order to begin to diminish them, each person may have to concentrate hard on becoming less oversensitive, making your buttons more difficult to push or growing a whole new set.

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