Please anyone a reading for me for enlightenment
Please anyone a reading for me i have been going through a lot of soul searching and changes of lately and also revisiting my past as in learning what was not working and what is. I would like some enlightenment if you can of the coming month and next year. I am born on the cusp Sep 22 1960 11:40am a Virgo...I am interested mainly in my personal life with me ex-husband Feb 20 1952 who i am moving back in with and our grown children Patrick Mar 16 1988, Julia Feb 13 1991 and Kerri Oct 17 1995. Things are sometimes chaotic sometimes not but all living in the same house and finances have been short and my health was failing but now i am getting back on track...I know a lot but just generally want to know if i am doing the right thing by moving back i feel i am falling back in love with my ex if possible 23 years married divorced for 2 and now just taking one day at a time but I need some enlightenment. Thank you all for your input I am open to any response.
1st off when i read ur post i heard the immortal song of Doris Day, " What will be will be que sera sera".
I think this means whatever comes comes n for u to allow it. Love n a cold cant b hidden for long. I feel moving back was a wise move. I also feel ur ex reciprocates ur feelings.
Guides of mine lets me know " STEADY COURSE" n it means keep the pace n course uve set n all is well. So 4 now all is well n ure doing good. I see feel u implemented in ur life metime, as in time for u n u alone. Keep it up dont let any twart it. Over all ure doing just fine. Congrats.
keep it up n u will get where u wish to be.
thank you for my intuition has been leading me in this direction. I am very grateful for your post it helps to have a gifted person help you as yourself. Do you see anything as related to my children and their current issues...oldest ones have families and unemployment and live at the house and my youngest 15 yr old Kerri...having a lot of questions about school and boys and very much a self esteem issue...we share a lot but she is often very moody and she clings to me for answers of which i often tell her to be positive and have hope...
Yellowrose, I'm not sure if I can help or not but I also have a 15 year old daughter. I raised my children telling them all their life, that they have a minumum of 14 years of school and if they want to pursue more, then that was great. I have always dicussed their friends at school and then tried to refocus them back on school. I have told them repeatedly, you go to school to make good grades and learn. You'll have all the time in the world for boys later. She has had boyfriends but nothing serious. I don't allow her to go out on dates or anything like that and I communicate with other moms when they spend the night with friends to make sure nothing funny is going on. I use my struggling as an excuse to show her the easiest path in life. She knows if she gets pregnant how hard it will be. We know of other teenage girls that are pregnant and we discuss this together, how it will affect her life and dreams. I even babysit the babies some times and she sees firsthand how hard it is. I use the little things as examples, such as barely having time just to go to the bathroom, etc.
My daughter is very moody to but when she gets like that I try to make her laugh and then back off so she has time to think. Sometimes trying to get her to laugh makes it worse at first because she wants to be left alone but she comes around eventually. When you say moody i'm not sure if you're talking about ill moody or sad moody. There's a big difference. As far as her self esteem, she needs to love herself just as she is. Reassure her often of how wonderful she is. I'm not sure what it is that bothers her but I tell my children about when I was young and uncomfortable with myself and now I look back and realize it was for nothing at all. The things I used to hate, I love now. My oldest daughter still has things about her body that she hates and will go to extremes to make sure strangers don't see them. I tell her constantly that she is beautiful inside and out and to not focus on what you don't like. Usually others don't even notice the things we don't like about ourselves. I tell her when you get older you're going to look back and wonder why you wasted so much time worrying about yourself. I would have to know some examples of her worries to really help you more with this. I'm not sure of what reasons you are telling her to be positive and have hope for. I might be rambling on about something else entirely.
My son is young and he has always been liked at school but he was very shy. He would tell me nobody likes me and I don't have any friends. I knew that everytime we walked into the school, other kids would say hey to him. Once I started telling him to stop being shy and that all these people wouldn't say hey if they didn't like him, he quit saying it. I also notice when I pull up, he's standing with several other kids laughing and talking. I had to convince him that if you want friends, you have to be a friend.
I have three children but our home stays full of kids at times. I prefer for them to be here so I know what's going on. I used to be the mom that drove them all to school, church, girl scouts, soccer practice, etc. We may have long periods where it's just us and then all of a sudden there may be 6 or 7 at once. A great time to talk to them is when their friends are around. They feel more secure about opening up. I love it when their friends confide in me and my children see this. It helps them realize I don't bite. When they are with a friend, they will discuss boys, school, friends, drugs at school, anything. We also help underpriviledged children every chance we get and this helps build their self esteem as well. It makes them very thankful for the life they live. Of course, it doesn't last long, but our life is never boring. We recently found a child that had run away from home and we helped for 4 or 5 hours until we knew he was safe. The crazy thing was that he had experienced exactly what I had experienced when I was young and what my children had experienced. Myself, this child and my youngest child all lost our fathers to a terrible death at age 6 and 7. They were able to show him how we have adapted even with our pain. It was as if an angel delivered him into our path to help. It was amazing. My children were very helpful and they mature in themselves a little more each time something like this happens. The focus comes off them and their problems seem small in comparison. It is so beautiful to watch.
I'm sorry if I haven't been of any help. There are so many different possibilities when it comes to children and their worries. I might not be psychic but I do have experience that may help you. I will try to help you in any way I can. I used to worry about all my babies alot until I started talking to their closest friends' mothers. We all realized that they are feeling similar and it is just a normal learning process. We just have to guide them in the right direction and make sure they are equipped with the knowledge needed to become mature in themselves and not fall prey to peer pressure. It can get frustrating at times, especially when they know so much more than us most of the time. I'm not sure if you're daughter ever gets that way or not but all three of my children think they are so much smarter than their parents. I've heard it all from them. The: you never listen! Really, you know that? The: How do you know? You're the worst parent ever! You're the best parent ever! I've learned it's all emotions and hormones. Especially after losing their father, hormones were flying and still do from time to time but for the most part, they are wonderful children with some really great goals in life. My oldest is in college and works two jobs so this helps the younger ones prepare for what's ahead. I use every example I can find to help them sort out life.
When I was pregnant with my son, my husband would say if it's another girl, I might run away. I can't handle another hormone in this house! I'd laugh and tell him, they all act like him!
I'm glad that you and your husband are working things out. I'm sure you'll get it right this time and be very happy together. You'll be in my prayers, you and your family.
I'm here if you want to talk or vent. I know how trying it can be with a house full. It can go from one emotion to another in the blink of an eye. I spend a lot of time... hiding! lol just kidding.
Wouldn't it be easier if they came with a owner's manual? ... and husbands too!
Dear Confused Scorpion,
thank you so much for reading your letter brought such empathy. I internalize a lot and I love my children. My son and 2 daughters each different people but still love each other still argue sometimes but can be mad at each other and then laugh 10 minutes later. My son got married right out of high school his and his girlfriend Amanda's baby was on the way 6 months before and his high school girlfriend moved in with us. They have been together 5 years now this coming year and then in that period came 2 more babies. Chelsey soon to be 4 Jake 2 1/2 and Isabella is 18 mos...it has been very difficult but his father my ex husband Allan and I have been supportive and struggling even with our own issues that ended in a divorce 2 years ago. Daughter Julia 19 also followed her brothers pattern boyfriend in high school but they are not married and did start college together.... and then after all the beating myself up internally over Patrick's choice and the remembered talks Julia then discovers she is going to have a baby, I also raised my children going to church on sunday being loving respectful to others boy scout brownies and a football mom...all of my children including the girls played football...they all did well with that...girls in junior high...with the boys team....son all through school...and now my daughter Julia now pregnant at almost 20 with her high school boyfriend into their 1st semester college together were working moved out apartment and then moved back in the house...told us then baby on the way...a big sigh and tears later....they are all in the house with their father....babies included...my husband and i got a divorce 2 years ago and our reasons were many it was amicable but the pain was still...there now we both have let go of the past and we do day by day work together to bring more peace into that....after the divorce Kerri our 15 year old came to stay with me and then she sank into depression and at the same time had a bully at school she told me and we sorted that out but she felt alone as i was working too now and she said too much going back and forth wanted to go back to the house so she could have her room...back... i said ok...it was then my health had begun to fail...and maybe it was due to that and still spending time in family outings that my now ex husband and I started talking again and listening dating some....my family including daughter in law Amanda...(been very hard at the start but we work through things)...also the future son in law Thorne...are now part of the family also my sons high school friends ...still occasionally come around they still call me mom too...After a few years in retail my son is now going to start college soon... fire academy....my daughter Julia preparing for a baby to come had quit her job due to cut hours and then she dropped classes also they now regret that but move on to plan going back... And then there is Kerri my youngest and her whole world as it should be is high school and her music and so we talk about school...she is self conscious of her weight as I was too at her age we joined a gym but had little time to go she is a beautiful girl very talented singing and art good grades at school. She has been through a lot when her father and I divorced and now since are reconcilliation has been of course happier but I always feared her moving too quickly wanting a boyfriend but I do sense it is just normal but i have that same fear but she assures me very animatedly as she has seen the stresses o her siblings plus the babysitting that she and her sister and father and I have done for my son. Kerri is also very empathic and I do respect her times she wants to be alone but I also listen more now...I think that I have learned a lot in the past 2 years. Struggling to raise a family all of the 23 past years were met with challenges and identities got lost my ex husband escaped in his way and I did in mine in some of the years and trying to do things the way that i was raised and being the peacemaker and then worring so much. I dont know what happened but it started with my ex husband and his willingness to go out on a date, to take a walk at the park, to sit there and then listen, and so we both agree now to take one day at a time and listen, and so I now am listening, looking and searching for answers about telling Kerri to be positive and have hope was about the negativity...the feeling discouraged about her weight ( I had/have those issues as well) I tell her everyday she is beautiful and to be herself and to love herself i have had to tell myself that as well. I get the days where she calls me positive pam now....or the days when she says fine whatever, bye....or she calls me a butmunch....but somedays and they have been more lately...she wants me to tuck her in bed at 15 give her a blessing and a kiss on the forehead...and i love that....we discuss the boys...she likes and why....and we discuss the future of what she wants to do...be a rock star and study paranormal activities at Penn State...and we discuss my other 2 childrens early families and struggles...she says mom I know....when i get to asking her about waiting and being responsible for herself and she tells me that she has no plans of ending up an early parent like her siblings. My grandchildren are such a joy and seeing them smile and laugh is priceless but seeing my children struggle as young parents and with the economy now they wish they had waited... but they teach me and I them. I once had my son tell me some fact about the hearts weight in ounces...and he told me that a mothers heart had to weigh more then any persons....i said why?I was thinking about all the worries....now i know it is because of the love it holds....thank you for letting me share with you...it helps to have a place to do that and people that love to share...
as for ya kids. as pring approached i see a new dawn awake. to me i feel think its new job on horizon. at this time its also good to return to the idea of gifts that express its the lovein thought that counts n not the maginiture or expensiveness.
as 4 ur teen well if youre blue down urself how can u be positive. i feel strongly u should let her know its ok to feel as she does. U see society often do NOT let us have feels at all. especially anything blue dark or negative. its not nice. its not pleasant. its not civil its not lady gentleman like. n honestly its bullshit. so when she is moody tell her its ok to be moody bc sooner or later the sun will shine. i say this bc its SO VERY HARD to b positive when u aint.
Not awknowledging neg dark blue emotions can cause depressions. take it from one who knows. so plz PLEASE let her know her emotional variety is legit allowed n okay to have. try it!
thank you cwb :)...you are right I allow myself to feel those and then let them go...she tells me the same thing as i try to help sometimes she says "i dont need your help i will be fine" and i then close her door after a time she does come back much....better....I think it was because when i was her age I always held it in and held my breath as i got older it came out with stress but it is like i was letting my emotion compound theirs if it makes sense? and and it was my children expressing it is there feelings not mine and it was me wanting to fix it and make it better. I know now that it is ok to feel but then to send the negative things packing as i read here on the site today....thank you for your words of wisdom.
yw sweetie ;-D
Hey yelowrose! Well no wonder, you got sick and you and your husband parted temporarily. You had so much thrown on both of you. My heart goes out to you both. It shows what wonderful people you both are to take all that on. Some parents say heck no, I'm not gonna keep taking care of you. You have a family now, it's time you learn as we did. But you two stuck together like a true family and tried to make their life easier. Yes, it's stressful and it seems that both of you are willing now to start anew. That is awesome! I love it when true love sticks it out even through the difficulties. Both of you and Kerri need stress outlets to have such a houseful. Wether it's together or seperate or both, you will need this to survive a house of three generations. Just one baby in the house can be stressful. I hope for your sanity that they are chipping in and helping. You and your husband both deserve this for everything you've sacrificed. You're both making their life easier and they need to contribute to make your life easier as well. You're marriage depends on it.
As far as the bullies at school, I have always told my children that people who bully usually have something going on at home that is not good for them. They have low self esteem and do not know how to deal with their problems so they lash out at other people. Please tell her it has nothing to do with her whatsoever. They are bullying others as well. I have expected my children not to be bullies and I never encouraged fighting but I have encouraged them to stand up for themselves without getting into trouble. This seemed to build their confidence just knowing that they could say you know what, you don't bother me. You have problems you need to deal with and I am not your problem. They have been known to become friends or either they'll leave them alone. Of course, there are some that will always be mean but once someone stands up to them, they usually go away. It's a hard thing for them to experience. If you can just get her to understand that bullies are hurting and lost souls, maybe she can get her focus off that. And I understand the not having time to go to a gym. Dancing is a good way to lose weight or jump rope, etc. If she's not so over weight that it's a health concern, just keep telling her how beautiful she is and if it really bothers her that much, maybe try a work out tape or a boxing tape that she can use at home on the TV. If any of the grandchildren are walking, they would love that.
I'm sorry to run I was just informed that the little boy who ran away from home is gone again. Speaking of lost souls, please pray for him. His mother gave him up at the age of six after his father died, when he needed her the most and he has been running ever since. It's awful!
You and your husband need lots of bubble baths!!!! lol Obviously both of you have the love to see this through and just imagine how wonderful it's going to be once everyone is all grown up and finally have a true place of their own. it may be quiet and you may miss them, but you two will finally have time for just each other. Dream of those days, they'll be here before you know it and enjoy every minute you have together as a family now. A family is priceless. I can tell you've already figured that out. Both of you. Much love!
thank you so very much confused scorpion I hope all goes well for the little boy who ran away i have been applying a lot of what i have been learning to see better into situations with my family some listening skills have become better in me. everyday is a challenge of its own but i am remaining open. Have a wonderful holiday and winter season ahead with joy peace and prosperity.
Hey yellowrose, I can tell you will do just fine. Like you said everyday is a challenge and just take it one day at a time. You're right, everyday it's something new when you have a house full. You solve one person's problem and then another one needs help. Our goal as parents is to teach them to solve their own problems without asking for help until they absolutely need it. That is one of the hardest things at my house because of laziness. Nobody wants to have to work at anything, they want it yesterday. My son would walk to China and search me out just to ask for my help before doing it himself! It gets nervewracking, but we're together and healthy so I try to count my blessings instead of letting it stress me out. My oldest daughter goes both ways, sometimes she'd rather suffer than ask for my help and then sometimes she asks for my help with the smallest things. I think they become dependent on us if we allow it. If we don't find the balance, then they will always depend on us.
I have a friend that her son had a baby at an extremely young age and now they are actually taking care of themselves. They are working now and making good money. He got a job at the railroad and it seems that they all matured overnight and stopped needing the parents to take care of them. The reason, I keep talking about this subject is because of the strain it puts on marriages to raise children and grandchildren. There will be light at the end of your tunnel. Hang in there! Before you know it, you're going to be missing them and going to visit them!
Maybe once you and your husband start discussing these issues, you two can decide on a plan of action to teach them how to rely more on themselves and less on you two. You will eventually see things improving drastically because your shoulders will be lifted from so much responsibility. You both have taken on so much. I hope you're getting some rest.
Thank you for the holiday wishes! I hope your holidays are wonderful and relaxing.
Your sharing with me makes me say in my heart yes she understands...I have the same thoughts. I smile because it is very nice to read your thoughts and it gives me hope thank you for your wishes... my challenges have been to keep the chaos manageable...and look for the peaceful moments as lost coins of priceless value. I too have a son that is trying but i love him i have to be tough sometimes as in saying no when he wants to go out 3 or 4 times a week with friends and wife. 1 or 2 times we barter but a house with 10 people 3 of them his babies. it gets noisy but youre right i will one day miss that. My 15 year old daughter did her talent show sang in front of her school...built up her self esteem even though she didnt win she got 12 votes 8 of which were students so that was cool out of 30 votes she got 12. Life goes on...second daughters baby due in March...next milestone to reach.
Wow, I'm so glad she was voted for! That must have made her happy and she will always remember that. That is awesome! See, she has nothing to worry about. Even us adults worry about the same things. We waste so much time worrying about things that aren't even true when it comes to ourselves.
You're doing the rght thing by telling your son no. It shows him that his obligations are at home and not out with friends. When you're there taking care of the babies, it makes his life all too easy and your's too hard. Once or twice a month is a much needed break when you're young with chidren, but several times a week is way too much. His focus needs to be on the future and bonding with his children. Just remind him that he'll have all the time in the world for going out once they are grown. Maybe he could get a small part time job at night and that would help him get on his feet faster. He's young and should be able to handle it. My 19 yr old daughter goes to school during the day and works at night and on weekends. She thinks because she works so hard at school and work, she deserves to go out constantly with friends also. We are struggling with the same battle...balance. They will unintentionally run all over us if we allow it. They don't mean anything by it, they just want their fun. Speaking of fun, are you and your husband going out and getting your much needed break?
Have you and your husband sat down and discussed the different ways you will help the children and the different ways you will not help? You need this to avoid repeating the same mistakes in your marriage together. They are your grandchildren, not your children and to make this work, you all need boundaries or you are going to end up exhausted and stressed again. Children think we set boundaries and that we will allow them to cross them, but once they see we are serious, they will step up and do what's right.
I'm so glad that you feel I understand your circumstances. Raising a family is one of the hardest jobs in the world and we all need someone to vent to. If i didn't vent, I probably would have run away by now! Just kidding... sometimes lol
Congratulations on your new grandbaby!!!! There's nothing sweeter than a baby. Now is a great time to start setting those boundaries with the babies and parents that are already here before another plate falls in your lap... That gives you a couple of months to get a plan in action with your husband, so once another major responsibility (your adorable newborn) arrives, you two can stay sane together. When your daughter sees your son and wife taking on more of their responsibility, it wll be much easier for her and her husband to follow suit. You should be there for guidance and cuddling and "grandparent" time. You need time to work on your marraige as well and they should know this. Seeing you and your husband working on your marraige will also increase their awareness of their own marraige.
I am so proud of you! You still had time for a talent show! LOL Just curious... Is your avatar picture in the car? If so, no wonder.... you stay so busy. I hope your holidays are wonderful! Just remember to slow down and allow them the chance to learn how to do things so you can enjoy the holidays with your husband and daughter.
thank you so very much and you have this amazing gift of knowing I have begun to formulate and put into action a lot of the things you spoke of....this holiday was busy as well....i had to balance christmas at home...a trip to the doctor for a kidney outpatient surgery on myself and leave on a last minute trip for a week to visit my parents 16 hours drive with my daughter and ex/new/man but the same one i had been married to 23 years I am trying to figure out what status but i laugh here ...he was great to me and my parents and it was not easy...my dad had a pacemaker put in and was in the hospital and my mom cant drive so it was many trips back and forth and 1 glorious day in the mountains with my 15 year old it was worth it we had a lovely day. long drive back straight through yes he wanted to and yes we paid for it on the next day at home slept the whole day. things i thought about writing as well about the new year and new everything i am inspired and always remain hopeful...and yes my picture is in my truck where i had one of those rush hour stuck in traffic days...i must update it this year lol
Hi YellowRose, I did a reading for your situation. Not a bad reading at all, in fact, very good. You came across as a Libra w/ the cards. I drew the Lovers for your position and King of Swords. The only negative I drew was in your past, far past. Looks like the past was not good at all. I drew the Magician as your first card. I am not surprised that I drew the 8 of Wands in your recent past. I view this as a coming together a collaboration. In your near future shows you juggling 2 opposites. I drew the 2 of coins. Coins is material. Maybe finances. You'll have to approach this as a new experience. There are still lessons for you to learn. All cards are favorable to you and for you. Was this initiated by you. Strength, a major arcana card, is shown as your outcome. If I were using this as a gauge, the conditions here are very favorable. I drew more swords and wands than anything which tells me this is more an intellectual issue. There are some financial issues w/you but not regarding the whole picture.
THANK YOU Daliolite Yes my life past was a very mixed emotional and physical struggle in many, many years of trying to keep my head above water. I have learned about listening and loving more in the past 3 years and am not certain what the future holds but day by day I live by hope and prayer and intuition. I have fallen down and I keep getting up again and I persevere. Yes i initiated changes but was uncertain if they were right ones. Finances have always been the core of upset but also it was a tug of war in my marriage and i was losing myself and my identity as a woman. It was imbalanced I maybe had to get out for awhile to go back in and see things differently. I still take one day at a time but I find I have to plan even if it is in my head. I want to fix things and that has been me always wanting to make things better. thank you for the reading if you have anymore insight i welcome it always. Kim
Hi, Glad you could relate. I have found that the cards tell a unique story for each person. I am an impatient person. I read the first post. Rarely, do I get to read all the posts. I think most people enjoy getting a reading. I pray before each reading that I can help people. I hope all of this is in-line w/what God accepts--you know. There are some questions I have about doing this. One is--some people seem to have a really bright outcome, others do not. I have to go back and look at the cards and try to search for where they may go wrong. It's hard to pin-point it because I may not have a lot of background. So, a lot is up to the querent to decipher. Your reading, as I remember, was one with a bright outcome. Good Luck and know that you have a lot of inner strength.
I thank you and am very amazed at the gifts people seemingly have to give that to others is a blessing because sometimes I beleive that we as in all people have such emotion in our lives that we cant see or maybe are afraid to see. So others are a blessing and when I read the words I can relate. I look forward to a bright outcome as it has been fairly bleak as far as my finances and the blessing is I have a good job I just need to get everyone paid I think most people are struggling. I try to look inward for the answers and hope that I make the right choices. Thank you for your gift...