Ex's new girlfriend...
Me and my ex brought up about 3 weeks ago, he's done a number of things to try to get to me, Then I find out he's got a new girlfriend and he's been trying to rub it in my face, So i pulled some cards at random to see how he feels about her i got
1. The devil
2. Wheel of fortune
3. 4 of cups
5. 5 of pentacles
Could anyone explains his feelings for her please..
This relationship is a rebound one, and yes, he's trying to rub your face in it. I am only a basic tarot reader, so am not being led by what the cards represent here, but i get the feeling the relationship you had with your ex was largely co-dependent, and now you have broken free, he has replaced you with another willing "victim". Be glad you are free of this influence, and move on with your life. I sense a very immature aura about him, and while you were willing to feed his constant needs and demands, things were rosy. He is unstable at the moment, and this break-up has been a blessing in disguise for you. So please, give yourself space from him and try to make something of your life without him. I apologise if I sound a bit harsh here, but it's your life, not his!
Hope this helps
The devil represents an unhealthy situation
The wheel represents the situation changing, fate spinning
4 of cups represents dissatisfaction or emptiness (most likely his feelings directly) meaning something to fill the void. His heart is not in it for her.
The chariot represents defeat, restlessness, victory. (Meaning he probably uses her to make you jealous.)
5 of pentacles represents a break in a downward spiral but its probably not permanent. Meaning its not going to last.
So no worries.
Thanks Cris He just seems to be getting worse with his actions, when I think it's all over I'm getting told about other stuff it's just maddness, I'm trying to get over him but all his actions are making it more painfull than it has to be, it's like he really truely hates me.
Love Detox, Thanks for explaining but could you please explain the last bit in more detail What do you mean by a break in a downward spiral, But its probably not permanent. meaning it's not going to last....
Thank you both for replying also xxx
No Angel, he truly dislikes himself and is lashing out, trying to blame you for his sorry situation. His ego is getting in the way and he feels that if he preens around the place with his new gf, you'll come running back begging forgiveness for upsetting his apple cart. Sadly, this happens with break-ups all too often - presumably you were the one who broke it off? Just maintain your stance, don't weaken and try to get on with your own life. How he's behaving is his own choice, ie, he chooses his behaviour; you are not influencing it in any way. Hope this helps xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox
He finished with me, so i don't understand why he's trying to hurt me so much, he tryed to stay in contact with me and said maybe we could ty again next year, I basically said I'm not waiting for you, my life still goes on, he didn't seem to like it one bit And he's just changed into this totally different person, the thing is feelings are there for him and i actually wan't to be with him but the behaviour is what keeps me away, the new girlfriend is just a step to far, I feel its pushing me away, Maybe he will realize maybe he won't I am much stronger now, if he wan't to be with me he needs to clear up his act very quickley or that's it. xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Basically your reading you gave yourself on his feelings for his current girlfriend is... she means nothing to him. They are not going to last. Their relationship is not forever.
I was only explaining the basic meanings of the cards. I apologize for any confusion it may have caused you.
Ah, so he couldn't stand the thought that someone just might love him and got in before the inevitable happened, ie, he got dumped. I think he's got that hang up about not being good enough for anyone to love him properly; he gets it and thinks it's too good to be true, so breaks it off before it can hurt him. Now he's hurting you, but in the long run, he won't avoid the pain forever.
It's really up to you as to whether or not you want him back in your life, but if you do, it must be on your terms, not his. This "next year" thing is almost like a slap in the face to you! So take time out for yourself and think about what you really want here.
The main message here is that this whole thing must be your decision and on your terms.
He has a lot of growing up to do and I feel he envied you for your own self-knowledge and confidence. You know you were and are good enough to love and be loved. He wasn't and isn't, in his own opinion.
I hope this helps a bit further,
Thanks chris I'm really greatfull for the replies, I am taking it all on board, && Ohhh i've just found out he isn't with that girl, he pretended to be with her, made a fake facebook profile and is now texting me to try and turn it all around on me, I've tryed to be grown up about it and just basically told him to leave me alone, oh god this just gets better, i wish i never had feelings for him....
Thankyou LoveDetox for explaing that further xoxoxoxo
Hmmm, sounds like he's dug himself a hole and is trying to find a way out, hence trying to turn it around to land on your shoulders. Very juvenile behaviour, but at the end of the day, please think about why you'd maintain feelings for someone who's acting like this! It's human to love someone, sure, but when they behave in this way, it truly is very hard to keep loving them. So give it time, and if he continues this behaviour and your feelings remain strong, then sit down and have a serious think about why you're drawn to someone like that. Sometimes it's something in ourselves we aren't aware of that draws people to us who aren't good for us, and once we become aware of why, then take steps to correct it, we avoid repeating the same scenario over and over.
Somethign better is coming your way, but you need to free yourself of this current situation before the new can come in.
Good luck! Hope this helps
It's hard cause I love how we got on so well when we was actually seeing each other, it was the time away that caused the problems, I had high exspectations exspected him to treat me like a princess, i was satisfied with the relationship but it wasn't what i thought it would be...I feel bad looking back at the times i called him a shit boyfriend proberly made him feel not good enough and insecure but I got so fed up sometimes it would just come out, He seems to of stopped the behaviour after trying to blame it on me he said okay jess, sorry if it wasn't you, see you soon. Havent heard off him since, wish i could work things out, but for that to happen he needs to realize he needs me and what he did was wrong....
Hmm, it sounds like both of you contributed to the breakdown of this relationship. His behaviour after the breakup was very immature, sure, but one thing I'd like to point out to you is that you should never expect a person to be all things to you, nor should you need a person more than you love them. Neediness never works long term; all it does is poison the love and take away the joy of being with that person. You need to feel secure about them when they're not with you and able to live your life successfully on your own. In other words, a relationship that is right will enhance your life rather than dictate it with ownership, neediness and control. Think about this: a relationship based on need means that if you're ever apart, all you'll feel is insecure and doubtful about what they're doing without you, rather than just plain missing their presence in your life. Do you see the difference?
It seems to me that you both need some time apart to think about who you are as individuals, and try to enjoy your life without a significant other in it for a time. You need to grow and expand, and a relationship based on need (which can lead to co-dependency) is doomed for failure or a life time of heartache and doubt.
Feed yourself, learn about you, and hopefully he'll do the same. Otherwise, a reconcilation would only cause more grief for both of you at this time.
Try to let it run its natural course and see how you feel after being apart from him for a while.
I realise this might not be what you want to hear, but this is what I am led to tell you.
I hope this further helps you,
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Thanks Chris I really get what your talking about, I no I've got to work on me but I would like us to try again in time to come after we have both grown up and learn't about ourselves, but I don't no if he feels the same, I get so upset to think maybe he will never be In my life again because I strongly think that we was meant for eachother but it was just the wrong timing that he came into my life...do you think he will ever re-enter my life...
You haven't heard the last of him. I get the feeling he did what he did to try and teach you a lesson which is pretty controlling if you ask me! Lessons learned are those we take on board, either straight away or after a period of contemplation because sometimes lessons are so hard to accept first off - they make us think about ourselves and truly look at ourselves, which can be very confronting.
Try not to be afraid of this part of your journey. Good things do come to those who wait and to those who maintain honesty and integrity, even though it may not look like it at the time.
At risk of repeating myself, the message I must pass to you is that you do need to be on your own for a time to give yourself space to recover from this, assimilate the lessons learned and apply them in your life, otherwise another relationship too soon will more than likely falter or be much harder work than it should be. You owe yourself the gift of personal space and time to grow as an individual.
I hope this makes sense!
Thanks for getting back to me Chris, That is pretty controlling but I think this breakup was what I needed in a way, even tough I hate to admit.. But I hope In time to come we can both come back together as changed people. I think I need to teach him a lesson or too myself... Is there any advice you can give me to help me at making the relationship come together in the future...
xoxoxoxoxox Thanks Chris
No. you don't need to teach him a lesson. Remember, tit for tat doesn't always work and most of the time results in wasted energy, unnecessary bitterness and at the end of the day, you could be the one who ends up suffering the most from it.
I can't give advice on what you can do to bring the two of you back together. That is in the hands of fate, though it will be subject to the free will of those concerned as happens in all things.
This really is a case of letting go. There's a saying: let go and let God. If you try to force things to happen here, you will only be frustrated and close yourself to other opportunities. You really do need to let go of this situation and try to move on as best you can from it.
Think about this also: would you want to be back with him now? And if neither of you have really learned from this, would you want to go through this again in six months' time? You need to value yourself here above all else. Think about what you really want. Losing him will be a good thing, but you need to free yourself of the situation to see that.
A relationship should never be a ball and chain around you, and it comes across strongly to me that this is what is happening to you now. That is never a good thing.
Please try to allow things to take their course and as I've said more than once, give yourself time to get over it.
And I'll repeat again: please don't involve yourself in trying to get "even" by teaching him a lesson. What he did was his choice. How you react to it, is yours. Power resides in personal choice, so try choosing to detach yourself from the outcome of this and you'll find freedom.
I hope that makes sense!
Thanks Chris, we havent spoken in a few weeks, but theres a party coming up he mentioned to my friend he may not come as it will hurt him to see me, and cause we will of both had a drink, and told my mate to look after me, at first I thought this was very touching then I thought about it, He did all that stuff, now hes trying to look the innocent one, I really don't know what he's up to I mean I would like to be able to get on be friends for a few months then see how it goes from there, I'm much stronger as the weeks go by, I havent contect him since the breakup hes contact me, I no I've got alot of my own issues to work out, But I don't think he knows he has....I am trusting fate to do whats best for me as sometimes tarot tells me different things, and confuses me even more.