Can anyone give me a reading tonight?
You need to be on your own for a while my friend, even though I know this isn't what you want to hear. Finish things with your husband; give yourself some emotional space and figure out who you are, what you really want out of life and where you want to go in it. This you deserve. I think you might've put the "hard word" on the one you think hates you, and he backed off, but you only did this because I sense you are so damned unhappy in your marriage. So get out while you can, and while you're still young enough to make a fresh start. Give yourself a chance at real happiness. And your husband deserves this chance too.
Good luck. I have been where you are, and even though it's not an easy road on your own, it's harder being with someone you're not happy with. I left a 24 year marriage last year because I plain wasn't happy.
To make your decision, ask yourself this: which path will be the more honest one for me? What will lead me to living more authentically? And remember that even making the right decision for yourself, will not always immediately give you all the joy you're seeking, but rather, even when times are tough, you'll know within yourself that you have done the right thing.
Does that make sense?
I sure hope this helps you, because I relate very strongly to where you're at.
Good luck; let me know how you go