Please assist with any insight...
I would like to know what the next year will bring me in the relationship department. My last SERIOUS relationship was about 6 years ago. The first couple of years, I stayed single, worked on me ect. The next few years I dated casually, nothing serious or long term .. ok guys just no one I felt I could be with long term (still friends with most so no hard feelings or drama). Only one man was able to capture my heart during this time but was dealing with his own issues and unable/unwilling to reciprocate so I moved on.
My friends and family members are all in serious relationships now and I’m beginning to feel like the odd one out. Don’t get me wrong, I have a fulfilling life, work out, run track, travel, hang out, enjoy my “me time” and am content for the most part (although the holidays can be tough); but with the ending of yet ANOTHER year approaching I can’t help but wonder if I will be stuck in this “rut” for yet another year. What do the next 12 months look like for me in this area?
Any feedback will be much, much appreciated so please chime in.
Peace and blessings …
Snowball : )
People stay in a rut because deep down they want to. Something in you doesn't want things to change or to get into a serious relationship. Maybe you just need an animal companion or a casual friend 'with benefits'? You need to dig deep and work out what you really want and what is preventing you from having it.
Hi Captain, thanks for responding. INITIALLY (over 4 years ago), I didn't want a serious relationship because I didn't want to get anyone on the rebound, considering I had just come out of a serious long-term relationship. I used that time to reflect, complete goals, and casually date.
"Maybe you just need an animal companion or a casual friend 'with benefits'?" Lol granted I love pets and actually have one. I' ve never been one to want a "friend with benefits." I've always prefered my sex*ual relations to be within the confines of a intimate relationship (its better that way to me).
"You need to dig deep and work out what you really want and what is preventing you from having it." The problem is I haven't met anyone in which I had any long term potential. Some guys were very nice, but not individuals I wanted to be with romantically (lack of attraction, mama's boys, insecure or controlling, financially irresponsible, ect), others simply weren't nice individuals in general. I'm not looking for perfection, and my "deal breakers" are not anything superficial but qualities like 1.actually being single/unmarried 2. drug free 3. employed 4. not having a criminal record : )
Yes technically, I COULD be in a relationship if I wanted one just to be in one, but I'm not that desperate yet : ) i guess my question is more of will someone of substance be entering my life anytime soon.
Not sure what's needed but I forgot my info 12/28/1979 ECB
Your future circumstances depend on what you do with your present. Change your attitude and you change your life.
Your astrological profile indicates you have a problem with trust issues because you have experienced deception and sorrow in the past from people you thought you could have faith in, emotional repression, and over-sensitivity. You need to think and analyse less, and be less rational and a bit more spontaneous in your self-expression. You are a very kind person and likely to channel your self-protective instincts into protecting others, yet you may falter when it comes to really opening your heart.
You can have an intolerant streak, yet your fear or refusal to accept the ways of others may in fact be a manifestation of your own lack of self-acceptance. Adopting a more relaxed approach to life in general and travelling to places you have never been, to enjoy relationships with people from other ethnic, social or racial backgrounds will draw to you people who are as caring, concerned, and trustworthy as you. If your focus is always on untrustworthy or immoral types, then that is who you will attract. If you are honest with yourself, when you see a 'Danger' sign over someone's head, it's hard for you to accept what other people lay down as an absolute truth so you can't resist seeing for yourself what's so wrong with violating a little taboo. It's rather exciting, in fact, even if it does turn out badly.
You have a fear of being trapped or forced to narrow your interests that might give you itchy feet or make you feel antsy in certain involvements. A possible obsession with needing to get away or change direction like a rabbit running from the hunter's rifle - to the point where you could become scattered and fragmented, lose your credibility, and not be taken seriously - must be dealt with. Stop feeling like a victim and get out and really enjoy life.
Hi, If you are happy and content I wouldn't worry about it. When we look at other people, I believe that is very deceptive. What is going on in someones life does not define your life. I don't go for friends w/benefits either. When you do meet someone, get to know them. If you are secure and confident, I'm sure you send out that influence to others. Don't second guess yourself. Content is a good feeling. God Bless.
Thanks Captain for the astrological profile!!! It was an interesting read, but I think only about 45% of it applies to me.
Mainly – “emotional repression, need to think and analyze less, You are a very kind person and likely to channel your self-protective instincts into protecting others, yet you may falter when it comes to really opening your heart, You can have an intolerant streak.” ALL TRUE
The rest I cant really relate to … The few individuals I have complete faith in (mainly close family and two very close friends) have never let me down, I travel frequently and never visit the same place twice (unless its to see family). I live in NYC so I have a diverse group of friends (ethnically, socioeconomically, and racially), not Facebook friends but friends,
friends : ) I actually don’t feel like a victim at all and have had very few interactions with immoral or untrustworthy types. I enjoy life immensely and count my blessings (even the little things like a kind but unexpected gesture, or how beautiful the sunset looks over the water if I’m driving across the bridge at just the right time).
Daliolite (I like your name) – Thanks for your response, I think what is starting to concern me is the length of time. My father and mother asked me recently “when are you going to settle down, (like its by choice) and these questions certainly don’t help matters : )
I know these feelings will pass and it’s just the upcoming holidays/birthday weighting on my emotions since it’s a reminder that yet ANOTHER year has passed and still nothing. Don’t get me wrong I’m not depressed or crying in my coffee, but I do wonder sometimes…
we find love when we least expect it
Snowball, you may not realise it but you do feel like a victim of circumstance or fate. You did say in your original post - "I can’t help but wonder if I will be stuck in this “rut” for yet another year." People behave like victims by not realising that they have created their own rut and that they stay in it by their own actions or inactions. You will stop being a victim when you realise you can make your life be whatever you want it to be just by changing your attitude. It's not life stopping you, it's you. And I find to hard to believe no one in your life has ever let you down or betrayed you. Nobody gets off that easy in this world.
"Snowball, you may not realise it but you do feel like a victim of circumstance or fate...People behave like victims by not realising that they have created their own rut and that they stay in it by their own actions or inactions." You make an extremely valid point and this is something I may not be aware of ..
"And I find to hard to believe no one in your life has ever let you down or betrayed you" - No of course not : ) I said "The few individuals I have complete faith in (mainly close family and two very close friends) have never let me down." OTHERS have disapointed me yes, but they weren't people I had strong expectations from ...just random people I may have come in contact with through school, work, ect...no one in my circle of trust/ifamily.
Again Captain thank you...I have a good deal of respect for you from the way you have assisted others seeking advice on this site. I will actively attempt to follow through - specifically- "You will stop being a victim when you realise you can make your life be whatever you want it to be just by changing your attitude."
LOL Danni83 - so they say : )