Captain or Dangala...reading?

  • Hello,

    I've been having a lot of issues in life right now, but mainly having a hard time letting go of a break up that happened about 2 months ago. I know I need to move on and let it go, but lately my ex has been talking more about me and wondering if I care at all about him. We were together for almost 2 years, and it's his insecurities that led him to breaking up with me. I'm wondering if anyone has some insight to what I should do. I'm close with his sister and she tells me some stuff that he says and it seems somedays he resents me and somedays he loves me and misses me. I'm not sure if I should try contacting him, we haven't spoke in the last 1 1/2 months. I feel like I can't stop thinking about it. I can't let go and I need some help with that as well. I want to believe that there is hope we will get back together, but in reality, I'm pretty sure we never will. I also am looking for a career or purpose in my life and wondering if you see anything in particular. His birthday is 10/26/1986, mine is 9/17/1987, if that helps at all.

    Thanks so much for any and all advice/help.

  • This relationship is very social in nature (together you both enjoy parties, dinners, outdoor events or vacations), yet demonstrates a kind of self-consciousness over how it fits into the group hierachy of which it is a part. An interesting molding dynamic is at worh here, more so than in other relationships. You two have the ability to adapt yourselves in serious ways to each other and to your environment without compromising your essential individuality. You achieve this through the taste for quiet reflection and thoughtfulness that your relationship engenders. You will both need to withdraw periodically in order to assess the situation in which you find yourselves. Having done so, you will reemerge more malleable, fitting either into some new form or more comfortably with the old one. It's good that your love affair and/or marriage can be highly social because you both have a tendency to bury yourselves in secretive and hidden activities. It's actually through your social contact with others that you really get to know and appreciate each other. Your friend can teach you a lot about sex if you let it happen. You can be very passionate and sexy (as long as it doesn't take too long) and you need novelty and challenge in the bedroom so a Scorpion is perfect for you. Liberated sexuality where you allow your passion to be unleashed will be a great source of satisfaction for you. It will also unlock your creativity. However, your friend's natural attentiveness may lead him to make obsessive examinations of you, and though you will be flattered at first, you may ultimately be made uncomfortable by it. You will have to discuss this calmly with him. You are very stable in this relationship which can make your friend quite dependent - which is odd because he hates anyone to be similarly dependent on him. Also, you have a tendency to dominate your friend and this tendency must be guarded against, for it can lead to his resentment and rejection of you. It may be why he fled your presence. Because of this, you should leave him to his own devices and not try to appear too needy for him to return to you. Let him come back on his own - play it cool and only contact him after he's contacted you first. Both of you will come to resent the relationship if it imposes too tight a binding.

    FATW, your life purpose is to let go of your preconceived ideas of truth, goodness, and beauty and, by getting back to basics, enjoy a fuller experience of life through living each moment to the fullest. You were born with highly refined aesthetic sensibilities and a rather detached or emotionally numb approach to life which can hold you back from more full-bodied exepriences. Often your idea of what should be gets in the way of appreciating what is. You may not know what truly makes you happy because of all your preconceptions. You live and love, but only according to the standards and rules set by others, rather than according to what you yourself feel. You may live in your head too much and rarely throw yourself into a situation without analysing it first. It is hard for you just to be with what is happening to you or around you. Typically, while you are doing something, there is an inner voice commenting on your actions and making judgments. It prevents you from generating any real excitement, enthiusiasm or energy for anything or ever trying anything new. You must learn to just go with the flow, sometimes. You have a formidable willfullness and, as soon as you work out what you truly want, you can achieve it, provided you don't lose yourself in simple rebellion against tradition, pretension or ideals. You may back down from taking a big risk and retreat into judgmentalism or didacticism. Often you must return to your origins or childhood to rediscover where your true passions lie. Watch that cool, calculating streak you can have and nurture the more personal side of your deeply caring nature. If the need to shed some of your more undesirable qualities doesn't manifest as chronic self-criticism, happiness will surely be yours.

    You must probe your obsession with your high hopes in relationships of all kinds, which only masks your fear of being unable to sustain them. Overly high standards or unrealistic expectations, positive or negative, can ruin your life so they must be transformed. What you really want is to experience happiness, harmony, fairness and support with one partner whom you love but to do this, you must learn to be your own partner first. By getting to know yourself, you will begin to do the things that bring you joy and increase your level of self-nurturing so that you can feel strong, confident and supported. As you treat yourself more fairly, you will find the sense of balance and justice you seek. Only at this point will you establish a healthy partnership wherein two individuals share equally with each other without feeling debilitated.

    Careerwise, you need to be able to do your thing according to your own impulses, without being limited by the input of others. You are a leader, a pioneer, an innovator. You need a profession that allows you the independence to follow your own instincts, and that requires intitiative and autonomous action, like that of a surgeon, technician, or entrepreneur, for example. Your strength and precision make bodywork, architecture, or service-oriented professions enjoyable for you. Your analytical abilities and support energy would make you a great business advisor - you may even end up in some form of planning or politics to help improve the world. You are a natural athlete, where strength and form are essential (like in gymnastics, diving, tennis or skating, for example). Any occupation that suits your values or sense of meaning is good. The key for you is to cut through the 'shoulds' and ideals and rediscover what you really feel and enjoy doing. Your finances depend on how practical rather than idealistic you are, and whether you are prepared to go through a step-by-step process to reach your goals, to pay your dues. While you search for your ideal work, don't give up your day job because it provides the foundation and security that can enable you to move on to something that suits you better.

  • **** = sex*y.

  • Thank you so much for your answer. It makes so much sense and hits some major points. I can be very dominating in the relationship, and I could see him running from that. I guess what I'm concerned with is if he'll come back or if we'll have a friendship or relationship down the line. I know it's hard for anyone to tell me that, and it just involves patience on my part. Thanks so much for your answer, again, I really appreciate you taking the time to do so!

  • If you don't act dominating or needy - let him do the chasing - he will come back. He's just testing you at the moment to see how you respond to his leaving.

  • Yea, I've decided to not contact him, and wait for him. According to his sister though, he is really over the relationship and just trying to move on and get over me, that's why it feels like he won't come back. But at the same time, I don't know if he would tell his sister how he is really feeling, cause he knows we talk and I'm sure he thinks she'll tell me. But thank you again for your response!

  • Yeah, it seems doubtful that a Scorpio would reveal all, even to his sister. Truth to a Scorpion can be rather relative and not absolute. He probably knows his sister will tell you everything he said. I feel he will rest up, see that you're not chasing him, and then come back for more. But there will have to be more communication and changes made to improve the relationship if you want it to endure.

  • Yes! Communication was our biggest problem always! I hope it does work out and he does return. I think there is really good potential there. But it's easier to feel hopeless I guess. I'm trying not to think about it or what his sister is saying too, she even said she has no idea what he's thinking but that he recently started talking about me and the break up, and she concluded he's been over it for a while and is just in his own world right now. I guess time will tell! Thanks again for your time!

Log in to reply