Captian, Love reading please

  • you gave me one a while back on my baby's father and I am in a new relationship now, but he is wanting me back & I am confused.. you said we were not a good match and I was just wondering what the future may have in store for this new guy.. if you have the time, thank you

    my bday 7/21/1990 @ 9:50pm everett, wa US

    his bday 10/27/1987 @ 1:30am everett, wa US

  • This relationship will foster imagination and adventure. But although you two have a talent for dreaming up schemes together, you usually have different ways of implementing your ideas. After the initial creative beginning, you can clash on the follow-up. Your friend has a thirst for great deeds that is stimulated by you, and he will admire your ability to put your fears aside and just go for it. At the same time though, he is a cool and careful customer and may find you a bit rash and hasty. You will value his control and meticulousness but may grow impatient with the time he usually takes to plan his next move. Ambivalent feelings like these are common here; you two are rarely completely comfortable with each other's ways of proceeding.

    A love affair can accentuate this ambivalence. Your friend can draw you like a magnet, arousing passions that seek immediate fulfillment. He is much cooler however and prefers to wait until he is sure about his feelings. Then, once he does commit, he requires an intensity in the relationship that you may be unable to sustain over time. The acute differences in your temperaments are exciting in the short run but tend to undermine longevity. A marriage can be built around travel and adventure but this exhilaration would need to be maintained if the marriage is to work out and to last.

    And Barbara, surely you are not thinking that your only choices are this guy and your your ex? Just relax and enjoy yourself, no matter what the future may hold. You don't have to go back to your ex just because he wants you to or there is no other viable choice on the love horizon.

  • I know that.. I was thinking of being alone for the moment, i wanted to know what the future had in store for me and this new guy because well i decided to start dating him and things were going great but then i got sidetracked with my ex and im just seeing if the path is worth following so far Ive picked up that he has a great deal of neediness and when i try to get my space i feel like he gets upset but doesnt say anything and will get mad at me for it later in some way.. passive aggressive, Im just not good at breaking up with people and will prolong it because I dont know how to do it without hurting their feelings.. I know thats bad but honestly how do you do it?!

  • Be honest. You just explain that, while you think he's a great guy, you don't think your personalities are very compatible. Then wish him well and tell him you know he will meet the right girl someday.

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