Slept with pisces ex. now what?
So pisces and I were in a relationship about a year and a half ago for about 6 months. It was perfect until I did something (he made it out to be bigger than it was) and he lost trust in me etc and then turned became manipulative, emotionally blackmailed me, just completely destroyed me internally and emotionally and physically. After breaking up, getting back, breaking up and getting back various times, i just couldnt take it anymore and I left him. He text me about 1 month later telling me he missed me etc etc. I told him I was fine and cut it short and that I hoped his life was going well.
So fast forward another few months after our relationship ended he finds a leo girl. She pursued him and he followed and eventually they were together. It was a bad relationship according to him and she used and abused him and everything he did for her. They lasted about 8 months and he left her. She's been trying to get back with him since and its been about 4 months since they've officially been over. They broke up and got back a million times because she couldnt let go. Anyway, the whole time they were in a relationship him and I were still communicating. The odd text and telephone call here and there and he would often tell me when to ring him so he could speak to me properly when she wasnt around. Twice during a break up they had, him and I met him and had lunch once and dinner a second time.
I dont have any feelings for him and im pretty much completely over him but I still want to be his friend. Before him and I became a couple, we had a really great fun friendship and im friends with most of my ex's. After theres been a period of time and i've gotten over my feelings for them, I can be friends and this is the case with the pisces. I had told him a few months ago not to take my chasing him to see him and hang out with him the wrong way because all i wanted was to be his friend nothing more and that I was completely over him. He asked me why I was? and kept asking me why I just told him because i have and thats it. Anyway so this weekend, we were supposed to hang friday night but he cancelled and said we'd do something next day (sat) I told him I was free and to ring me then.
So sat night comes around it was already about 7, I didnt think he'd make contact and surprise surprise he texts me asking what im doing. I tell him nothing, that we'll do something. He tells me his short on cash I tell him i am too and to come over and we'll just hang out. So he replies saying his on his way.
I havent had sex in a while because I dont want to just sleep with anyone for the sake of ending my dry spell and If i was too, I wanted to do it with someone ive already slept with. I thought okay, his coming over, perfect chance! loll. So he comes over everythings good not awkward at all, my room mate is sitting with us watching tv and she eventually locks herself up in her room leaving us two alone. Everythings good and comfortable and were sitting together on the same couch close to each other. We play cards for a bit and start drinking (his idea). We end up drinking half a bottle of wine and 6 beers but we're fine not drunk just a tiny bit typsy.. not even. So I start talking about sex and tell him how there is a bi aquarius girl who is chasing me and I dont know what to do and he gets really excited and into the conversation and his like I think this is the BEST and most interesting conversation we've had!! I tell him I wanted to have a 3some and if i should count him in as a candidate? He straight away says yes and starts planning the night (i thought it was really cute lol). So anyway him and I can bring up the topic of our ex relationship and its fine we can talk about it completely fine and bring up memories.
So he tells me lets sit back on the lounge and were watching a movie He then asks me if the movie works in the dvd player in my room i tell him yes. We go into my room, I bring the bottle of wine and 2 glasses in, and close the door. His already laying in my bed completely comfortable like he used to when we were together. I come in etc etc were talking and then he tells me to close the door and to turn the lights off. I did. I come back into bed and im laying there.. with a lot of space between us (I didnt kno what to do and to be honest I was waiting for him to put on the moves.. i already knew what I wanted to do!) So a bit of my lower back tattoo is showing (im giving him my back) and he leans over and lifts up my top and he goes show me your new ones (which are on the upper half of my back) I left my shirt and he starts sensually and slowly running his hands all around my back and grabbing my waist etc I then turn over and his all over me and trying to kiss me, I keep pulling back (trying to tease a little) and he comes onto me more like he wanted to ravish me! lol So were kissing etc, we both knew where it was going, he asked me if I wanted him to wear a condom or not I told him not to (been with him before, plus im on contraceptive pills) so we have sex and its passionate while it lasted. He came in about 5mins lol so It wasnt much of an experience. He was immediately embarrased and got off me and his like wow that was too quick I know you want more, I said to him, i'll be getting more later on lol anyway. He went completely weird and rolled over and layed on the end of the bed, closed his eyes and then I kept on asking what was wrong etc he kept on sayig he was tired I was like bullsh*t seriously whats wrong and he goes I dont know its a bit awkward dont you think? I was like no bla bla im fine with it. He goes doesnt it bring back memories? I was like umm not really and then I go good or bad memories? and he goes both. And then he goes, its weird dont you think? being here together, doesnt it just seem like it was yesturday? Me being the blunt gemini I am kept on saying no no its not awkward at all and no it doesnt seem like yesturday feels like theres been a lot of time apart. I asked him not to lie to me and that i was sure he was just embarrased that he came too quick and his like yea thats a major part of it and his like I dont know its just awkward and then he was like I havent had sex in 4 months and I got too excited etc etc I kept re assuring him telling him it was fine and I didnt care. He came back up and laid next to me but turned around giving me his back.. So i was like seriously why are you being like this? YOU came onto me and his like I know I did i just wanted to see what you would do. So i said so your testing me? to see if id actually sleep with you or not? and he goes yeah kinda.
Anyway his like alright im gonna go (mind you we had been drinking and I figured he'd sleep over since he couldnt be drink driving.. he lives about 40mins from me). I go but you've been drinking what if you get pulled over? etc his like I dont care I have things to do early in the morning etc, so anyway were there for about 10mins I kept telling him to stay the night (pretty much begged him) and he kept on refusing and his like please dont make me feel bad about not staying I just cant and then he goes next time I promise and he said he wanted to see me next weekend (i told him to come to the club I was going to be at) so he goes next weekend it will be better and I'll sleep over i promise just not tonight so I was like okay eventually let him leave lol. So were at the doorway and we pecked by. I told him give me a proper kiss! So we start kissing for a bit and he leaves and I told him if he got pulled over to ring him, and he goes and your going to walk to come and get me? I go yea i dont care. And i closed the door.
Thats it. So why did he come onto me? Was it purely sexual or do you think as a pisces he has any feelings left? I know i dont want to be with him purely because of traumatic my experience with him was. He completely broke me down and I had to start from the bottom. He destroyed my self esteem etc etc. Anyway im over it and i've moved on from the situation and the pain but I still somewhat want him in my life as a FRIEND. I just dont know what to expect from this now? I've never had sex with an ex and I dont know what his thinking or how his taking it. How should I tread about this? I just miss the physical side of being with him. Such as having him there all the time and laying and cuddling together for hours on end and not saying word. If he never showed me his evil and manipulative side, I would definately be trying to get back with him!
I'm no psychic, but after reading this I feel compelled to give you my non-psychic input if you don't mind.
You said you're a blunt Gemini, so I hope I can be blunt too, but I will try to be respectful. I think you should put a couple of days between you and this incident and read your post again. It seems as if you were manipulating him to come over for your own motives (*** and friendship in this case) and then when he obliged and told you that was his intention also, it upset you.
So, was *** and friendship really your true intention? I'm not trying to accuse you, I'm saying to take a look at where you were when you invited him over.
You say you know you don't want to be with him and have moved on, and that is because of what happened to your self esteem being with him. I think I would not try so hard to continue on as friends with someone who damaged my self esteem. Friends don't do that to each other.
There's my .02. I hope it helps you see the situation from another perspective.
"So why did he come onto me? Was it purely sexual or do you think as a pisces he has any feelings left?"
He made moves because you showed him the green light. He is a man not a robot.
Don't confuse sex with feelings. Now he will probably think of you as an X with benefits. I think you still love the guy. You need to do some serious inner work.
It sounds like you still have feelings for this guy. Otherwise you wouldn't be so concerned about seeing him and being with him. Obviously you care what he thinks. You should figure out where your heart is at. Maybe you two should sit dotown and talk. The question is Are you able to forgive the past? If not it's time to move on.
Maybe I do have feelings for him.. I dont know im confused. Im pretty sure I dont have any feelings for him but then when he wouldnt stay over for the night and when he rolled over and gave me his back I got upset and I tried to figure out WHY I was feeling the way I was feeling if 'it meant nothing'.
For me its out of sight out of mind, but I've noticed that when i am with him and around him etc, I try to impress him like i used to do when we FIRST got together and when i am not around him and I dont speak to him for a while I feel nothing and I couldnt care less if I never saw him again.. does this make sense?
Thanks for your replies girls! Very much appreciated and and SAJE03 you werent disrespectful at all and I appreciate you taking the time to give me your opinion.
Would you say he has feelings left as well?
This post is deleted!
@Gemi13: OMG! i cannot believe how parallel our stories were! without referring to astrology or some "higher wisdom" and just relying purely on experience and my female instinct, i must say you still have issues with this guy...bigtime! i went through almost the same thing and in my case, i just let it go. i let him go. although it was very difficult since we had good times (both as friends and lovers), i had to do it for myself.
by the way, i just happened to read your post and had a VERY strong urge to tell you this. that's how affected i was by your story! gosh, it's uncanny! it's actually cathartic to just read your story. anyway, good luck!
hotarieschick: what is your story??