Working to manifest positive change- challenges prevail!

  • Hi, Recently split with my fiance. I am struggling beyond belief! This has happened before in a previous relationship. I am working to break patterns and it feels unbearable at times. I have never been so focused on change. I am sure I am holding on too tight. I am having a terrible time letting go of this relationship. Any advice or support would be much appreciated!

  • It may be the relationship itself you are hanging onto, rather than the actual person. What you are probably having trouble letting go of are the dreams and plans and hopes you had for the relationship. Now it's time to make a new dream, one that is more realistic than the last and based on want rather than need.

  • Do you see a path for this? I am lost. I appre4ciate what you are saying. I am holding out hope that we will both heal and grow back together again in the near future. He doesn't think that is possible. Am I wrong?

  • What you want is for your ex to change and he is telling you he doesn't want to. Listen to what he is saying, rather than hoping for something that is a romantic fantasy. Change yourself and your thinking so that you don't need him anymore. If this has happened before, you need to work out what negative behaviour you keep repeating when choosing a partner. It is probably some pattern that was established in your childhood - maybe you got the wrong idea of what love should be like and it follows you to this day?

  • Definitely, you are right. I do think I received messages that do not resonate with what i want but they still influence my behavior. My birthday is 3/3/1971- is it possible you could do a reading? Thanks for all your advice!!

  • What you really want is to be adored and to share centre stage with someone who returns your passion. To do this, you must learn to go with the flow and not try to force or control things to happen the way you want them to. Your ego can get in the way when you feel rejected. Then you push, sometimes too hard. You must learn to receive love naturally, to be calm yet alert to the windows of opportunity and respond to those who come into your lives to love you. Spending time with like-minded people, openly expressing your unorthodox ideas and visions of the future, will attract lovers who can also be friends and give you the support you need. You must also avoid a tendency to want other people's approval and the need to be infallible. You also identify maybe a bit too much with your work and can give up much of your personal happiness to do what you do. Your work can become your personal happiness - it's your way of loving and being loved. You're the sort of person who identifies with the poor, downtrodden, mistreated, ignored, disenfranchised beings whom society looks upon as dispensable and whose needs have little or no importance in the greater scheme of things. On some level, you were probably treated as such and that's where your anger comes in as well as your need to be adored and treated like royalty. You developed a fear of being treated like some useless piece of archaic machinery. But that's the childish part of you that is just crying out for some attention and to gather personal power. It's not your highest motive by a long shot. You're actually on a mission to restore dignity to all beings on this earth. That's only a crazy idea if you start judging which beings are worthy and which are not. You must probe deeply into your obsession with being valuable and wanted, to the point where you cheat yourself of a whole dimension of intimacy and personal liberty. You are actually here to learn consideration for the feelings, viewpoints, and lifestyles of others, to have empathy rather than to judge them. You may have to do a lot of soul-searching before you understand that your need for acceptance is not precisely the same thing as having consideration for others. Developing greater detachment and objectivity, especially about yourself, will benefit you very much. There is a danger you can become overly defensive and self-involved to such an extent that larger issues regarding others, such as thoughtfulness, consistency, and expressions of support, will go unnoticed by you. Yet at heart you do possess a capacity and impulse to help others and an unassailable moral code. If you do not collapse into neediness or a sense of disappointment when faced with the many ups and downs of personal interactions, your great sensitivity will find a way to shine.

  • Wow- thank you. This is incredibly accurate. I have already begun the soul searching piece about a month ago. It is intense and at times grueling but I know it is necessary. Again, thank you.

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