What is WRONG with me?!

  • D/O/B 2/13/84, 12:41 am, born in Passaic, NJ.

    I'm sick of feeling out of control. I'm thankful for the things I have, thankful I'm alive and thankful for my loved ones but what is UP with me?! Why can't I figure out what to do with my life? Why do I get so jealous of others' happiness sometimes? Why is it so hard for me to find a good man that WON'T take me for a ride and push me off the roller coaster? I'm so sick of falling for the wrong man. Just when I think I'm getting close I feel SO far away. I just don't understand !

    Anyone see ANYTHING in my future for love & career... moving out of this depressing house of mine?? I'm trying SO hard to stay optimistic. I really am - I can be optimistic for other people, why can't I stay on that course for ME?! I feel SO uncomfortable in my own skin anymore. Why this constant roller coaster :0(

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  • Watergirl -

    Thank you, so SO much for that. The people in this forum, including you, are just amazing. So many thoughtful people that just want to lend advice, support and healing, it's just incredible. This truly touched my heart.

    It's odd, I keep getting these types of cards, even when I do the readings on this site. It must be true if even a human being has pulled these cards and not just a computer. My only question is, I don't know how to get in touch with myself - I don't know exactly what I feel about myself and my life, my brain is so scattered all of the time, it's so hard to focus. My mind is always changing. I don't know what I truly want, there's so many things I could do with myself (careerwise) that I don't know where to start.

    I've been told that I possess incredible energy, that my aura is screaming "power". A woman once picked me out in a bar and told me that my aura was significantly brighter than anyone in there and that I am very "special". I didn't know if she was just drunk and rambling or if she was being serious to be honest, but it did really make me think. I have always been that person that influences others to be aware of their potential, or realize what they need to do, or, in relationships, realize later what they did wrong and what they have to do to fix it. Just my influence. I don't know... How do I embrace that power??

    I know I have a great purpose... I just don't know how to figure out exactly what it is and I just end up depressed a lot, taking things to heart and wallowing in self pity. Never to the outside - on the inside it's a different story.

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  • My heart's desire is 16/7 and the man that I fell for was a 22. I thought we were perfect for each other, though SO different - I truly thought we had what each other is lacking. I felt that we would have been able to work through our differences, I could have sworn we had much to learn from one another. I saw it at least. I hope that despite the negative feedback I've been getting from the forum that this will prove to be true rather than false, but only time will tell and everything happens for a reason in the meantime.

    ANYWAYSSS... Another Aquarius! Yayyy! I love conversing with other Aquarians. I always feel much better knowing I'm not alone ;0) My Life Path number is 28/1. I never paid to get all the details out of the report, I only did a sample but you're very close. I feel like I've been struggling forever, though I'm only 26. You're definitely not rambling! Keep it coming, please! I do understand what you're saying, actually I know what you mean TOTALLY. There have been times in my life when I was in a very low place inside, crying histerically, almost to the point to where I started to hyperventalate and somehow I found a way to sit still, calm down, and just... think. I would always hear a soft voice telling me, "don't cry, little girl (now matter how old I was when this would happen, I was addressed as little girl) - it will all be ok". I never knew what that was all about, if I was making it up in the back of my mind or not. I'm assuming that I meditated without realizing that I did? Or, a psychic once told me that great grandfather follows me in spirit, I thought that maybe since I was referred to as "little girl", that may be him beside me.

    I read my birthdate in the book, "The Secret Language of Birthdays" (or Destinies, not sure which one) by Gary Goldschneider, and the advice it gave me was to meditate. I never bothered though! Probably because my mind went off somewhere else right after and I didn't think of it again. Typical....

    Any tips for effective meditating? And any chance you could possibly do a full reading for me in your spare time? No rush at all might I add.

    Thank you so much for your responses!

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  • Thank you for that article. It is so well written! You seem to communicate very well through writing and I wonder if that's how you communicate best, like moi. The funny thing is, I've BEEN there before - grateful for what I have and grateful to the universe - I don't know where I fell of track but I definitely did, hard. I read the book, "The Secret" and it follows the same type of principles you have outlined here. The hardest part is staying aware! I definitely think you've hit the nail right on the head - meditation, meditation, meditation! I NEED a way to calm my mind. It races FAR too much, too fast!

    I will certainly try reciting affirmations. Whatever I do, I need to start getting used to it. I'm starting to think that the universe keeps throwing the same advice and the same clues over and over again and I'm just not embracing it. I'm always so concerned with the wrong things, no matter what the situation it seems!

    I will wait patiently for your insight. Take as long as you need. You have helped me so so much - I really feel a great connection to you! By the way, you're right - we CAN be control freaks, I never really thought of it that way. I thought it was my Scorpio rising - guess I have a double dose! haha. ;0)

    Talk to you soon :0)


  • Thanks for the book suggestion - I will have to get my hands on it soon!

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  • Hey, no problemo. You're doing me a favor!

  • Man do I know what you are going through with respect to the self worth issues. Like looking in a mirror. I want so bad to say it's not you, it's how others treat you. But we both know it's not that simple. Like me you have work to do to build strength in your worth department. I hope it goes well for you and remember it's a process not a quick fix, the answers don't come over night and are not instantaneous usually any way. I'll be interested to see how things work out for you as you go through the process of learning to trust yourself and your instincts.

  • Yes! Some of the things you said in your posts reminded me of myself so much. Thank you for your kind words - it's like, you KNOW what you need to do but getting there is such a long journey on a winding road. I keep hitting a lot of bumps - I'm trying to iron out these bumps but its just so hard! It's all about staying aware - as soon as I can learn to quiet my mind when appropriate, I know I can achieve that. I will certainly remember your advice. Thanks for reading!

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