New relationship...need advice

  • Can anyone give me some guidance in regards to a new man I am seeing? He is 10 years older than me...super sweet. I am just so hesitant, i don't want to get hurt...i just couldn't handle it right now.

    His name is Marty, and he seems to be awesome, but I have found out that looks can be very decieving...

  • if i were you i would take it one step at a time just like you said looks can be decevien iam going thru the same thing just don't put your heart into it to much and if your hoping for a comitment just stay open minded in also stay in prayer hope this helped a little

  • Take each day as it comes and enjoy your relationship. There's no guarantee against getting hurt....if you can't cope with a relationship at the moment then don't enter one or play it to your take it nice and slow.Yes, looks can be deceiving but not necessarily so. Go with your gut feeling

  • You have plenty of time on your side and actions speak louder than words And sometimes they are deceiving too. There's no rush. He is the one 10 years

  • He had to cancel our date tonight. Has to work. Had some issues with his daughter last night and went in late this morning. I just can't get a break!

    My gut tells me he is genuine and I want to open up to him...just scared like I said before

  • Just let him make the calls but don't you stop living. The time may come when you have to say ok I have waited until you get things straight in you head but there needs to be a time limit. What you going to wait a year? A year and a half? He has to understand that no one is perfect but your his wife and if that's not what he wants you need finality so you can move on. Don't ride him, when you spend time together. But just let him know you need to have a truthful talk about what each of you want from this.

  • Hi, If you want to get to know him then let him know. Believe me, this isn't always popular but if you go by instincts and what is right you probably won't get hurt. I sense there is some pressure somewhere. You want to give him the benefit of the doubt but you don't know him. Better to get to know him. If he doesn't understand that's fine, it's time to move on then.

  • I am in much the same space with my guy, who I've met on the Internet. I wanted to take it slow and he was persistent that I should open my heart and not fear the uncertainty. I guess the same goes for you and your guy, regardless of your age gap, I would say " give it a go & take it one day at a time" and above all enjoy the relationship.

    I will share with you what my guy said " If you are scared it makes me nervous and scared and then I want to pull back and back away"......I hope this helped.

  • thank you all so much. last night he asked me to come to his office and we just sat and talked for awhile. it was really nice. supposed to see him again tonight...hope so...

  • You know skher, none of us like to be hurt. In relationships, in order for them to be given a chance we do have to open up enough to allow it to work, and that does leave us vulnerable. That can be scary. Especially if you have been particularly hurt before. You don't really have to rush things, or even open up EVERYTHING all at once. But I do strongly suggest that you do seek your heart and try your best to trust what your heart and your energy is telling you. There is pain and there is deceit in this world, but there is also such joy and love and happiness. There are no guarantees, but you have to risk a little, and allow some trust to build if you want to find that trusting love and happiness. It's well worth the risk. Just take it one step at a time, an wade slowly through it at a pace that you can handle. You don't need to rush it. Love or life or anything else inbetween will arrive when it is supposed to. Just don't be so afraid of life that you forget to live it. That would be quite tragic.

Log in to reply