The ex files..
But on a serious note,
I would very muchly appreciate some insight please, of the going ons in a situation with my ex.
He's a libra, 27 Sept 89
And I feel him to be playing some sort ofmental game with me.
I'm already in a relationship with someone else.
Yet, he is playing old memories to me and what nots. Next, then he springs it on me that he's been back on the dating scene and he's asking me for advise on how to move on from me. What !?
Initially, i was for real hoping we could become better friends.
But I can't help to feel like i'm being taken advantage of / he drains my good spirits.
If at all, anyone would leave me with any insights of what his intentions are at the minute, and what is to come in the next 2 weeks(he has arranged for us to hang out.. and now i'm feeling sceptical about it ? I would be most grateful, as this has been tugging at my mind, to make me see through his sweet talking.
I should also mention that when i asked him straight, what was he getting at/what was it he wanted from me and him as of this moment, he says he wanted to get back together.. but there was all these isssues with him blah blah blah. This is after he asked me fr details about how i initially moved on etc, i.e to help him out.
If you've moved on - and he hasn't, he might know this and really be trying to hurt you. My ex is born on 9/26. He has a love/hate relationship with me. He wants me, and he hates that he wants me because he can't have me - and oh, yeah - I'm the biggest mistake he ever made. Nice.
I guess I'm biased about this particular decanante of Libra (I gave a fellow Aquarian who was having issues w/ a 9/25er the same story). But it sounds so typical, I've also known others born different times of year who behave this way - and it's the behavior of the broken-hearted. Misery loves company. If he breaks you off of your track now, you will be miserable. He can spurn you as you once spurned him; and who knows what happens with the new guy.
It seems to me the new guy isn't your issue, seems to me you should trust your intuition/skepticism - and focus entirely on yourself, learn from this past relationship, and move forward when your karmic lessons are complete.
Just some advice from one chick to another.
Best of luck ~ I know it's really hard when you miss these ones (the good times were so good, right?!) ; )
My ex is a Libra as well...oh the games, the manipulation. I literally felt like I was dying. i would never contemplate getting back together with him.
Dear Ethereal maybe you should both have some space from each-other? He seems to still like you. I don't see him toning it down anytime soon. The ball is in court really.. since you are with someone else maybe it's time to say Bye Bye to Mr Libra?
@gypsydreams, we live 250 miles away from each other lol...lots of space, i don't often see him.
But occasionally we txt each other, and he is the one to always call me.
@wild places, i know all his games and manipulative schemes. i'm just quite sick / bored of having the 'friendship' aspect being taken away from me, everytime. That is why i wanted some insight before our meeting up.
eventually i will just pull away completely. juts like i did during the time of our relationship.
and as for the new guy... he doesn't seem to understand where i'm coming from with this.
so i dunno.. time to retreat to myself, away from these emotional vampires outside my door.
@gypsydreams it was harder to say bye to him cause thats not what i wanted. i wanted to stay friends. and i take all my friendships quite seriously, even in great distance. So it hurts when they don't care at all for it.
I know how you feel about wanting to remain friends and being so hurt by these games/manipulations. It's like their shadow side, the way they try to keep you in their lives. It's probably because of how much he love(s)(d) you that he can't be your friend.
I've got 120 miles away from mine; but because we have a child together - he still knows how to twist the knife all the time. If you can get yourself away from the "emotional vampires" - do it now.
All the best to you - and enjoy the time to yourself, it's a beautiful thing!
I just have one question for you. You have moved on with a new guy, how would you feel of your new guy was going to meet with his ex g/f? Does your new guy know about any of this? And do you think this is fair to him? Okay, that was 3 questions, lol.
You said "But I can't help to feel like i'm being taken advantage of / he drains my good spirits."
Listen to your gut, it is SCREAMING at you. The best way to help him get over you is to NOT get together, you are giving him false hope and leading him on (I know that isn't your intention). He is very young and I feel that getting you back is just his way of knowing that he can and if he can then he will dump you eventually.
Please listen to your gut, or sixth sense and best of everything to you.
"@gypsydreams, we live 250 miles away from each other lol...lots of space, i don't often see him.
But occasionally we txt each other, and he is the one to always call me."
By space I meant cut contact. But I read you want to stay friends.. goodluck
Answers to your questions
"You have moved on with a new guy, how would you feel of your new guy was going to meet with his ex g/f?"
I don't mind at all, seriously. I don't get jealous over these things, in fact it makes me uite happy to know that people can still be friends with their exes these days
I applaud it !
" Does your new guy know about any of this? "
Of course ! I'm very open to him about everything.
He may not understand it, but he still likes to know, even if he may not like to or whatever. He know sthat my intentions are to be friends, but he tells me perhaps my ex is simply blinded by his feelings to accept how i naturally am around him/he may be misinterpretating things.
I think if that were true, then its quite unfair, because it would mean that i can;'t be friends with him. And i don't want for that to be the case.
" And do you think this is fair to him?"
Haha i'm confused.. why would it not be fair ?
My current boyfriend knows of the issues i'm having here. Like my previous answer, he's acceptant that i would wish to be friends with my exes, regardless of their feelings for me. I can't just cut off from caring about them, i am still human.
I understand that others might have this perspective of what is 'acceptable' of being in contact with exes whilst in a relationship etc, but i ignore all that and work with my true feelings, for which right now is that i do immensely care for my ex, but don't quite appreciate that perhaps my friendship is being taken for granted, for selfish purposes.
It's hard hey. I want to show him i care, and i wanna talk to him lots and hangout etc. But i have to hold in all of this back and instead, be so discreet, not answering his calls etc so that i don't in any way lead him to expect more from me. I leave him for months.. but he will still always try to contact me or he will message me to say hey.
But i care for our friendship deeply, and whilst typing this i'm kind of realising that perhaps maybe this is what it will take to maintain it. I accept his attempts to manipulate me and hurt me, and simply do not react to it whilst i carry on being myself, and moving forward.
And yeah, I was just curious for a reading to give me some insight on his part, so as to understand this better.
Thanks @gypsy dreams x o x o
Yea precisely that, I think it hurt me more to always have him throw our friendship to the side, that it did when we initially broke up lol
I'm quite stubborn, and i just like to work out in advance what he's trying to do, so i don't react to it when it happens.
*than it did
In response to Taurus:
"My ex is a Libra as well...oh the games, the manipulation. I literally felt like I was dying. i would never contemplate getting back together with him. "
OH MY GOODDNEESSSS... I am TOTALLY with you on thattt!!!!!!!!!! My exex was born 9/25/82 and OH YESSS.... the games, the manipulation... and the cheating!!!!! ugh! He lied SOO much too... compulsively, he would just lie and lie and lie some more - even lie for little or no reason, almost as a set up for the next time he felt the need to have to lie!
Ethereal - my exex has been playing the SAME game with me for 2 years! He was trying to get back with me for a while, gave him a chance once or twice and totally blew it. He told me he wanted to try towork things out and be exclusive, I stayed with him at his mothers house for 1 night then the next day he left me there with his mom and sister and went out with some other woman to the movies. A woman he JUST met days before!!!!!! That was it for me! But on top of that, he did exactly what you're talking about countless times. He still texts me to tell me that I "haunt his dreams". He told me he's been with his current gf since April, he plans to marry her in December and he would like for me to be at his wedding - after he was trying to get with me in the summer a few times, Mr. Faithful - AND after he hurt me countless times, he wanted me at his wedding to see how "great" he is now that he's "cleaned up his act"?! REALLY?! No way. This entire year I've answered his calls and texts maybe 3-5 times and it was enough for a bunch of crap to follow.
I did forgive him for the past just to try to move on, he gave me terrible trust issues, but still, I'm trying to forgive and (hopefully and eventually) forget. I would never want to be close to him in any way again. Besides everything else, every time I try to be friends with him he gets weird on me and asks me creepy questions.... It just doesn't work for me - I hope your ex is a nut like mine! Manipulative b@$t@rd!
Much luck to you!! I do hope you 2 can maintain a healthy friendship. I, too applaud those that can remain friends. I believe that it is soothing on the soul.
I meant to say, I hope your ex is NOT a nut like mine was! Just thought I would clarify that ;0)
JoyousAquarius13, did we date the same person ?!!
Mine was/still is a manipluative liar. Lies.. oh man.. the lies..
I'm cutting the cord slowly but surely.
Especially since i found out some more effed up s-h-i--t this wkend. i'll explain later..
Wow, that's wild... We MAY have. They're pretty close as it is... I'm very interested to know this eff'ed up shite!
Ethereal27, honey there is something about Aquarius we dont get that understanding of jealousy.
Be careful, i lost many good guys by not understanding this
Try to look at the person in front of you, they are not you and they may not understand and accept things the way you do
we dont get jealous when ex’s meet up but many people would and may feel hurt
be open but not too open in point to hurt someone that care for you.
You are with a new guy try ti focus on that, try to remember why it didn't work with the Libra guy in first place.
If you have doubt stay away from both guys and take time to think, by involving yourself in middle of both you will hurt someone and yourself and this is not right
For me when i m in relationship i give 100% after it’s over i have nothing else to give or to try or to regret and i look to the future.
what is past is past for good reason. The new guy dont deserve to be in middle of something is not part of, you know this.
you said this libra guys in player, manipulator, so why ever think of it, you know the game
be careful to give too much time to people and situation that are not important to focus on, go forward
we sometime like the past because it’s familiar to us, it feel safe but sometimes it;s not safe, something need to be left behind.
I feel from all your post you need to take more time to be with yourself and focus on you right now
i feel doubt and fear in you
Aquarius value their friendship but we need to realise that our friendship is precious and we need to give it to people that deserve it
not just give it
some people do not deserve it honey
if you suspect someone to play with you chance are they are doing so, don't waste too much energy on situation and people that doesn't matter, if you cant organize your interest you be drain quickly by a lot things that doesn't matter and you will block your own good energy
Libra is old news, and has been for a long time. Don't worry @star2u.. I figured him out.