Parent-Child Compatibility



  • Quenkath

    You and your father (it's in present tense even though your father has passed on):neither of you let much go by without making a comment but you can choose to do it in a light, easy and above all considerate manner that is unlikely to arouse anger. There can be a kind of diplomacy here that can guarantee harmony on a daily basis if you both work at it. An honest, realistic and often uncompromising attitude exists between you. Nonetheless, an edge is almost always present, and you two must never forget that a full-blown argument could easily erupt if courtesy and respect are neglected even for a moment. Brutally honest attitudes can offend - usually you, Quenkath, being the thinner-skinned. Your relationship can suffer from real or perceived insults. You two will have to learn to be more diplomatic and more forgiving in order to get on. Keeping tempers under control and retaining respect and openness are difficult, however, and emotional conflict is inevitable here. Your dad usually likes to be the boss in most relationships but he will take orders from you if they are given in a respectful manner. Your dad can suffer from a fear of that which he can't control. He likely grapples with emotional blockages that keep him from moving out of himself. He is a dependable, reliable and pragmatic soul but there is a danger that his need for safety and self-protection will manifest in some highly intolerant attitudes and an unwillingness to open himself to new experiences. Repressed emotion is a problem for him, but the impulse to get more in touch with himself may just spark a search for higher, more spiritual truths. At his best, your father has a profound understanding of the human condition and tolerates its weaknesses but, at his worst, he will be inflexible, demanding, and uninterested in anything that fails to provide for his own protection and safety.

    You and your mother: this relationship is forever on the move, in search of new horizons. Your dynamism combines with your mother's ambition to produce a hard-driving and uncompromising relationship that makes few excuses for its actions and none for its intentions. Tending toward the idealistic, you two generally proceed from a strongly ethical or moral standpoint and thus feel justified in what you do. Although the focus of the relationship may be on worldly adventures and challenges, its greatest need is for introspection and self-understanding. It is eesential for you two to get to know each other well. Your mother may lead the way in this endeavour, although she is often loath to open up areas in herself that she has successfuly sealed off. The trick is for both of you to begin not with self-analysis but with discussions of the relationship itself. This can be the prelude to a highly exciting adventure of a different sort. The realization that self-discovery is a worthy challenge can lead the pair of you to explore this new territory more fully. You two are likely to see eye-to-eye on many issues but your temperaments can clash too. Remaining cool and controlling emotional outbursts, trying to be more accepting of each other, and finding common areas of interest will all be important for keeping the peace. Your mother also has the same fear of the things she can't control, like your father. Defensive attitudes can hold her back unless she does a lot of soul-searching and rethinking. Until that time, she may seek to submerge her anxieties in work, obsessive love interests or an excess of family responsibilities that may take up her time but do little to nourish her spirit. If she can avoid succumbing to the demons of pessimism, isolation, and chronic insecurity, and develop the objectivity to see the big picture in order to align herself with higher levels of spirituality, she can do much to surpass and release many of her self-imposed anxieties and limitations.



  • Thank you Captain! The Description of my father and I is very close to exact, except he always tried to keep me happy, along with keeping mother happy. This caused him a lot of stress because mother and I would butt heads often. Bless you!



  • Interesting post Captain! Here are mine:

    Me: 06-05-1972

    my daughters:

    24-02-2003

    01-12-2004

    08-09-2006

    06-09-2009

    Thanks a mill!

    Paddi



  • Captain~ i love your idea for this reading~ and I hope that you might read for me~

    Me- Jan. 3, 1972

    the children~ daughter, July 13, 2002

    son July 12, 2004

    daughter September 12, 2006

    thank you for this,

    CapricornCat



  • Aries44

    You and your father: this relationship has a strong sense of the relaxed, natural and unpretentious, and a shared dislike of fuss and bother. Together you two exhibit a simple, even inspiring grace. You Aries44 generally need to be surrounded by admirers, but may give all that up, preferring one unaffected glance, kiss or hug from your father to all the starry-eyed attention of your fans. Your dad should give lavishly of his admiration and devotion in return and this relationship can usually satisfy even the strongest of your needs. You may respond with an intensity that your father will find most rewarding. You must however respect your father's need for privacy and he must understand your need for social contact, even if it leaves him waiting up for you on a long cold night or sees his home filled to overflowing with your friends. He may feel forced to scale back the 'traffic flow' of guests however, and conflicts are bound to result. In arguments, your aggressiveness may prove too much for your sensitive dad, who may withdraw in the face of it. Yet conflicts can be negotiated and tensions diffused, simply through the relaxation inherent in your relationship. He should be an understanding and sympathetic parent, though he may suffer from mood swings. His sensitivity can war with selfishness, his cynicism with enthusiasm, and his moral courage with indecision or sheer impulsiveness. Yet once he begins to understand that much of his fear of domination and restriction and his issues with authority are simply projections of his inner turmoil and indecision, his path will be considerably smoothed. If he indulges in too wide a range of emotions, it might prevent him from doing the responsible work and enjoying the fulfilling pleasures of family and home. If he is careful to acquire and maintain a broader philosophical perspective and adhere to the simple spiritual law of 'do unto others as you would have them do unto you', self-realization and considerable accomplishment can be his.



  • Captain just remembered the dates go differently in the US so for mine it is always day-month-year.

    Sorry hope it doesn't mess things up!

    Paddi



  • Captain, Thank you very much! I love the relationship that I have with my guy but you sure hit a few challenges on the head! lol I feel; that he will open wholly to me one day. Right now he is going through a lot and he has realized that he has some gifts but doesn't know what to do with them. Puberty alone is rough...I feel him 😞 I feel that we are only improving and we are trying to do things differently.

    I wanted to share with you that my son loves to mock me about my beliefs and things I feel and see. He recently had his "eye" opened to a whole new world and then I let him read the compatibility result you sent. He read it carefully twice then grinned, huffed and said"I love you mom, you are such a freak!" Then said that's kinda weird huh? What else can they tell you about me? They better not tell you my business. LOL He is opening up and this is really exciting to me. I love watching him mature and grow! Now he is in another part of my world and I love it! Thanks to you!!! ~ HUGS



  • I'd appreciate your take on the compatibility in our household

    Myself 4-24-1962

    Daughter 4-17-1987

    Granddaughter 11-13-2007



  • Dear Captain!

    My very sincere, albeit belated, Thanks for your ACCURATE reading re: my Aqua Mom,(to a T!), and myself...sigh......

    And, the Mom/Grandson Rafi,(my son) reading.

    This means a lot to me,( and is also so "on the mark" it's uncanny), due to her intention to move up to Maine to be close by him in her twighlight years. Long story, but your insightful reading is extremely helpful and I am deeply grateful!

    BigLove,

    Lisa 😉



  • Thank you so much Captain. That really gives me insight of how my daughter and I can improve upon the relationship we have. There are definitely stormy days, but also wonderful ones as well. It is good to here there is great potential between my daughter and significant other as well. They do tend to relate well.

    GreyStar



  • Paddifluff, the dates read the same here (day-month-year) in Australia.

    You and daughter 24/2/2003: family relationships here can be close, sympathetic, and supportive. The thrust of this relationship will probably be social. Together you two are likely to explore the realms of thought and communication. You two function very well together as an integral unit in family and group activities, being the moving force in organizing such outings. It would not be surprising to find you two in the future involved in charity work or other causes that involve you with others. You and your daughter may share an interest in music, dancing, film and other entertainments. Being with other people so much of the time moves your personal problems out of the spotlight and makes you both more relaxed, but it also deprives you of the ability to confront each other, work out any issues, and deepen your relationship. Having friends constantly present can weaken your domestic bonds and the extra traffic around the house may eventually prove nerve-wracking. You two both have a reclusive side that your relationship may suppress, almost certainly creating tension. Make sure you both get to spend enough time alone so you can enjoy each other without distractions. Your daughter will need to cultivate more objectivity and avoid revelling in her own emotions and passions too much. She is also well acquainted and quite comfortable with abstractions and the world of ideas. The key to her liberation will lie in her ability to rise above her own emotional dramas and to take adequate responsibility for the part she plays in shaping her own destiny. She will be quite stubborn about wanting to do everything her own way. Rather than lay blame on others or bemoan her fate, she must learn to cultivate a more proactive approach to personal satisfaction. If she avoids the trap of irresponsibility, emotional self-indulgence and simple disillusion, all will go very well for her. By engaging her idealism, she can dig herself out of any funk that faulty thinking can get her into. She can use her sense of justice to help others.

    You and daughter 1/12/2004: family relationships here can demonstrate deep mutual understanding. Both of you usually love animals, are great believers in truth and honour, and despise discrimination or injustice of any kind. A family with you two in it may become a haven for neighbourhood strays, homeless castoffs, and underdogs. You Paddifluff will generally be the more realistic one here, with your daughter being taken up with exciting new ideas that don’t always pan out. Both of you are very high-minded individuals but your relationship can bring out a secretive aspect, possibly having to do with money. It can also provide an outlet for each person’s less stable or reliable side, possibly creating chaos or near disaster. Challenging activities like sports, nature hikes, camping or exploration may be shared here. But a conventional or comfortable relationship with easy give-and-take is rare in this combination and there can be some stormy days. Your daughter will display a strong need to win. She may struggle on her life journey because of a tendency towards displays of authority and autocracy. Her road to hel*l may well be paved with many good intentions until she gains some necessary perspective on her own conflicts. She has a profound need to be loved and respected that will not be met however until she goes within to discover the shadow areas that hold her back from fulfilment. As soon as she discovers that the affirmation she seeks from the world is to be found in her own heart, accept that each of us has unique strengths and weaknesses, and gives herself the gifts of love and self-respect, she will be rewarded with personal liberation and worldly validation. She will learn that she can stand up for her principles without wounding her sensitivity and to enjoy giving of herself, safe in the knowledge that who she is, is inexhaustible.

    You and daughter 8/9/2006: this relationship is unconventional and tends to fly in the face of tradition and to oppose the expectations and wishes of other family members and friends. To top it off, the pair of you will go one step further by criticizing or harshly judging people with more traditional views. Your daughter is a bit of an enigma - unusual, secretive and hard to get to know (exactly the type of person you, Paddi, are attracted to). For your part, you can usually breach your daughter’s defenses with an irresistible combination of aggressiveness and charm. But family relationships here can often feature a lack of understanding, with sharp critical attacks followed by withdrawal or silence on your daughter’s part. Your frank and honest approach however will be appreciated by your daughter with her dislike of soppiness and sentimentality. You must keep the bonds of trust intact here and work on emotional honesty in order to reach deeper levels of communication with each other. Your daughter must release her need to control. She has good sense, taste and judgment yet she will have to take care that her discrimination and high standards don’t become a form of limitation. Her life will involve a highly internal journey, as she is not much inclined to share her questions, problems, or revelations with others. Taking up the study of alternative religions and philosophies will help to round out her view of the world, however, as will developing a willingness to engage in lively and stimulating debates and discussions in which all parties openly share their opinions. Her impulse towards service is very pronounced and, if she can deal with her defence mechanism in order to create an opening within, she will enjoy a quiet sense of accomplishment for having pushed beyond her boundaries.

    You and daughter 6/9/2009: the same goes for this daughter and you as with your four-year-old and you, although their personalities are slightly different. This daughter will be quite the mover and shaker if she can overcome a desire to escape reality. Her high moral standards, natural discrimination, and analytical approach to people and problems will do a great deal to assist her progress in life. Her biggest challenge or problem will be developing the willingness and ability to close the gap between her deepest needs and highest aspirations, and to give herself the proper credit for her own creativity. Your daughter will grow into a rather steely individual made of stern stuff but she shouldn’t worry so much about appearing formidable. If she doesn’t allow her more rigid attitudes, buried fears of rejection, or need to keep up appearances to interfere with her destiny to raise and inspire the collective consciousness, then she will make great strides along her karmic path.



  • Lol thanks Captain it's going to be fun when the teens come! They are sweet kids, my eldest is indeed very dramatic, my second very caring, my third an enigma and my fourth can really shake up a room though she is only 2.

    I was trying to work out the time difference and I thought you were either west coast US or Australia/NZ

    xPad



  • CapricornCat

    You and daughter July 13, 2002: a parent-child relationship is tricky here. Your personalities are complete opposites. Clashes of will abound and little is taken for granted. Your daughter will generally want you to talk about what is bothering you, while you will insist that she makes a deeper commitment to family life. You two often come closer in times of crisis when your relationship becomes the rock on which everyone and everything depends. Together you are an unbeatable team against the world, but you can also be at each other’s throats like adversaries. Both powerful and dominant individuals, you will each give the other the fight of their life. You two don’t always see eye-to-eye, especially when it comes to deciding who is the boss. A lot of trust and faith must develop for this relationship to work and this can take some time. Neither of you will be particularly desirous to go out of your way to be understanding, sympathetic or sharing with the other - yet it must be done. You are both attracted to the road less travelled so once a bond is established, old conventional methods will not interest either of you. You both share an attraction to risky, even dangerous activities. Daring to fail is seen here as the given without which success is impossible. Indeed this relationship is most comfortable when challenged, so difficulties, struggles, and problems are par for the course. Your daughter has a need to be accepted that may hold her back a bit in life. She must develop a more objective, less self-interested view of the world. Coming to terms with her own originality and uniqueness may figure prominently on her life’s journey, and she may waste her energies in merely trying to conform rather than actively advancing her own ideas and projects. Approval seeking and simple defensiveness can also be stumbling blocks for her. Yet if she can cultivate her unique communicative talents in such a way as to tone down her directness with diplomacy, her ambition with patience, and her passion with a greater degree of empathy for others, all will go brilliantly for her. Using her gift for observation to mimic how others present their ideas, and standing firm in how she views life and how she thinks will bring her happiness and fulfilment.

    You and son July 12, 2004: Unfortunately your relationship with your son is the same as with the previous daughter. But their personalities are slightly different. Your son may display a tendency to undervalue himself. Highly materialistic, he is likely to achieve success, though perhaps not happiness, in his life. His workaholic tendencies will be quite pronounced and he must undergo a major shift in priorities. He will find happiness and feel good about himself when he sees how he has touched and helped others, not just what he has achieved for himself. Controlling his personal needs is second nature to this stubborn individual - he must learn to accept and appreciate the simple pleasures of life. The key here is for him to take special care to nourish the spiritual and social aspects of his personality and, in short, to learn when to take a vacation. A meaningful and lively social life will provide him with a more relaxed perspective and help him to avoid the pitfalls of ‘all work and no play’. Yet if he takes care to indulge in that which really makes him feel good, rather than what he thinks is good for him, he can experience great transformation and happiness.

    You and daughter September 12, 2006: earthy qualities combine well here. You two agree on practical matters and the sensuous synergy between you manifests in a love of food, comfort, and physical pleasure. You can galvanise your daughter into action with your ambition and in turn you will benefit from her practical common sense. You two know how to have fun together - in fact, your relationship may focus on having a good time. But this combination is far from superficial. You both know how to work as hard as you play. You must try to scale back your work and make sure you have enough time to enjoy being with your child, although she is independent and not overly demanding, and may even appreciate being left alone a lot of the time. Moderation is key here as your daughter has a need to control. If she is to make a success of her life, she will have to work hard to broaden her horizons and to deepen her sense of faith. Though blessed with an indomitable character, she will have to back up, lighten up, and detach herself from her ideas of truth from time to time, if only to gain some much-needed perspective. Once she comes to term with the fact that her unique ability to ‘call ‘em as she sees ‘em’ doesn’t mean much if she remains all but blind to the bigger picture, she can embark on a quest for self-realization. Ultimately, she will lose her fear of the unknown and develop a capacity for reverence that will provide her with a greater sense of harmony and a feeling of alignment with universal forces. By indulging her more romantic or spiritual feelings, she will find her true fulfilment.



  • RCdreamer

    You and Daughter 4-17-1987: this matchup is often highly dramatic and critical. Both of you are wilful, capable, strong-minded individuals and your relationship magnifies these characteristics to such a degree that you may argue about how almost anything is to be done. But, if your energy is unified and directed outward, your relationship can be a powerful one, and its abilities to both attack and defend may guarantee the safety and security of those around you. As individuals, you make fearsome rivals for other people’s love or attention and, since neither is quick to admit defeat, your sharp verbal combat can be prolonged and damaging. You both need to realise that being able to admit weakness is a sign of strength. Learn to relax with each other. Empty out your intensity through some separate activity so that, when you are together, you have no strong negative emotion to fire you up. You are both highly physical so working off your steam through sport or exercise can work very well, especially for your daughter. Though you may prefer to lie in the sun on a beach, RC, she will stimulate you to scuba-dive, hang-glide, or jet ski. She tends to deny her emotions but, with you, she can exhibit rather theatrical expressions of feeling. But your relationship can encourage her to be more openly affectionate and appreciative than usual. And while you, RC, can be a terrible procrastinator, this relationship’s critical attitudes and dramatic displays may have the effect of goading you into action. Your daughter is as critical of herself as she is of others. She may misdirect her considerable energies by trying to correct everyone else’s problems. Her impulses toward perfection can be so troublesome that her ideals manifest in extremes of self-sacrifice and denial. She would do well to back up and slow down sometimes in order to see the bigger picture. Avoiding confrontations with her personal problems may be difficult because, unless she recognises the origins of her discontent, she may spend a lifetime trying to correct and perfect things that are better left alone. Still, she is blessed with the fearlessness and pioneering energy necessary to accomplish whatever she sets out to do and, if she avoids the pitfalls of tyranny and overly controlling attitudes, her natural enthusiasm is sure to find expression and realization. Letting more chaotic or creative energies into her rather ordered universe, and cultivating a sense of humour in order to express herself more spontaneously will greatly increase her chances of happiness and success.

    You and Granddaughter 11-13-2007: you two are both serious individuals who want to feel free to speak your minds. Your relationship will have the beneficial effect of keeping you both upbeat and focusing on the positive. Issues of authority and the balance of power will have to be successfully dealt with, however. This will require a solid bond of faithfulness, trust, and honesty. You both like others who have the inner resources to pull their weight and pay their own way. Your healthy respect for each other will emerge in down-to-earth, everyday matters. Repressed storms of passion can often rage within your GD, forcing those around her to react with similar emotions or perhaps to turn off completely. Fortunately, you RC have a patient and understanding side and are a good listener and observer. You and her mother will have to watch for a possessive and jealous side in your GD, and help her to master it. How deep your bond goes depends on your GD’s willingness and ability to open up to you. If you are too imposing or arouse her feelings of insecurity, she will clam up. She has a great need to be honest with another human being at a very deep level however and, if she can show her weaknesses and doubts to you without feeling threatened, she can receive your valuable advice and guidance. Thus, emotional honesty and trust between you is vital for a close bond to be established. Your GD has a need to feel superior that will have to be resolved. She has a decidedly calculating streak and a lot of charm, and will be inclined to want others to jump through hoops to prove their devotion. At her core she is a realist who will be well able to face down her demons of personal mistrust and defensiveness. If she can augment that realism with a desire to transcend the boundaries of what she considers her strengths and weaknesses and place greater faith in her ability to create a higher set of ambitions, she will doubtless make her mark in the world. By being more open, honest and direct with others, she will improve her relationships. By admitting her dreams to herself and daring to achieve them, she will gain success and fulfilment on her life’s journey.

    Your daughter and your granddaughter: this relationship can be satisfactory but uninspiring. Attitudes about how friends or family members behave towards each other can be unyielding and sometimes morally overbearing. These two will have to try not to let their ideas on subjects ranging from group activities to social attitudes get rigid or dogmatic. Disagreements can bog the relationship down so they must stay forgiving and flexible. Your GD will seek to control her mother but she must be persuaded to give this up, since by trying to keep everything under control, she may miss out on some of life’s most enjoyable and interesting experiences. Together this pair can enter a whole new world in which rich feelings emerge and their deeper emotional sides can find full expression. To gain her child’s love however, your daughter will have to sacrifice some of her focus on work or career, because this relationship will demand a lot of attention. But, if the result is that your daughter takes more care of her own emotional life which she may have neglected for years, then the relationship can do her a lot of good. This pair has a freshness of ideas that allows for a lot of creative problem-solving.



  • Once again, Captain, I am deeply grateful that you have shared your gift of insight~ thank you~ the insight will help in so many ways~ thank you again, CapricornCat



  • Captain thank you so much for the reading for myself, daughter & granddaughter, you have a lot of good insights into our current dynamic and how to address issues in the future. I really appreciate you taking the time to prepare this for me.



  • My b-day: 11-12-1982

    Son: 09-12-2003

    Busy, Busy Captain, you are Awesome..thanks again!!



  • Dabearsbug

    You and your son: parent-child relationships here usually feature rather strict parental attitudes and dutiful child ones. Although as individuals the two of you tend to be controlled and subdued, together your relationship allows you an extroversion that could be called scintillating, especially in any projects or activities you share. This relationship is highly successful in directing energies to where they really count, rather than frittering them away on emotional displays. Thought and entertainment will feature here. Realists first and foremost, you and your son do not get carried away by idealistic dreams or fantasies. This relationship can be highly satisfying, although there is a tendency to temporarily withdraw from it if it is not meeting either of your best interests or wishes. Your son depends on you heavily for support and advice and you on him for his love and support, although he can be a little selfish at times. Honesty is extremely important between you, even if it is disagreeable. You two must loosen up emotionally and learn not to be afraid of your feelings. Kindness, consideration, and understanding will go a long way to improving both the relationship and your interactions with others. Your son can stand up for himself when necessary. He has a highly creative and intelligent but rather unusual twist of mind, in that he has an attraction to the naughtier, darker side of life. He is fascinated by the concept of good and evil, with 'evil' characters a curiosity for him in a very innocent child-like way. His strong sense of justice needs to understand their motivations for doing bad things. Cartoon and comic book villains may provide an escape from a lifestyle that follows traditional moral values. It's also a way for him to understand his own issues and situation. Unifying his higher and lower minds will occupy a greater part of his life's journey. Throughout his life, he will need to go to places he has never been before and step out of his habitual behaviours to gain a more fertile perspective on life. As he matures, issues of proving his personal appeal and intelligence, gaining self-confidence, and making money may emerge. His call to service is strong. Many who share his personal profile become philanthropists, even starting up charitable foundations or bookstores or other businesses, small or large that allows them to help others. If he trusts his intuition and makes creative decisions on that basis, money will just show up like magic. He will want to find a love relationship that is mutually empowering, trustworthy, and completely dependable.



  • Wow, looks like a fun thread.

    Me: 11-1-54

    My daughter: 7-10-82

    Thanks in advance Captain!



  • RankaLee, is that 11 Jan and 7 Oct, or 1 Nov and 10 July?


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