Parent-Child Compatibility



  • SalientLiving

    You and your oldest daughter: which of you will wind up in the driver's seat? That is the question here. On the surface of it, neither of you may be much interested in dominating or taking the lead, but circumstances often force such roles on you, especially through work. In your personal relationship with each other, there may be even more compelling reasons for one of you to take the lead (as in a parent-child situation), for without such leadership this relationship may drift without direction. Yet the relationship may feature a marked resistance to assertive behaviour, which is unfortunate since a desire to leave things as they are can spoil the best chance for personal, social and even financial success. In a parent-child relationship, leadership could take the form of encouraging self-development, spiritual growth, and emotional enrichment and, if the relationship lacks this sort of direction, you SL may have to push it a bit in this direction. Any complacency or disinterest will prevent progress, so motivation is crucial here. Should there be a lack of effective leadership within the family unit, the two of you may unite in the unpleasant but necessary task of unseating it, which can earn you animosity, even hatred. A passing of power from the older generation to the younger will occur here, but not without some friction and difficulty, but usually with the full agreement of other family members. Though socially inclined, your daughter will have to take care that she doesn't become the victim of her own strong desire to please. She will be a gifted diplomat and a highly creative personality whose principal failing may only be the reluctance to face down escapist tendencies or devolve into pure self-interest. She must be sure to go out into the real world now and then (yes, an Indigo). She may manifest a careless or dreamy approach to practical matters and will have to work hard to focus her attention not on what 'ought' to be done, but what needs to be done in order to advance towards her goals. By developing greater discernment and objectivity regarding personal issues and a willingness to put her talents to use helping other people, your daughter will be well rewarded on her life journey. Just watch she doesn't substitute an obsessive desire for self-improvement for service to others.

    You and your youngest daughter: there can be instability in this relationship. Maintaining a kind of dynamic equilibrium of feeling will be a principal challenge here. A curious energy exists between you: a need to be supported and nurtured conflicts with an equal need for independence. Overall however, the relationship's energy is beneficial to both of you. You SL will derive inspiration and strength from your child (who is a wise old soul and yes, an Indigo), but the benefits you receive can be habituating and your reliance on her can turn into a bad case of overdependency if you are not careful. Somewhat paradoxically, you will be able to turn to her wisdom and patience to help you in your struggle for autonomy within the relationship. Your daughter also has much to learn here, though her lessons will be more absorbed than struggled over. In her own way, she can be quite rigid and she can learn something from you about the freedom she might find by accepting things as they are and moving on. But there may be some angry arguments or power struggles before she matures into a role model for others. Tactlessness may be her single worst enemy and she may experience considerable difficulty when she seeks to impose her version of the truth on those around her without adequate concern for their feelings, views and needs. It will be a giant epiphany for her if she realises that withholding certain facts is not necessarily manipulative, just sensible. Alternatively, she may become self-sacrificing in the extreme, so devoted to harmony that she controls others through any number of less obvious but equally destructive emotional devices. If she can manage to learn that the things she may consider phony, pretentious or otherwise without practical value may seem to those around her to be beautiful, important and good - and work on her tolerance as well as her presentation - she can accomplish much. Her no-nonsense attitude must be tempered sufficiently to allow her to engage in the dance of personal human interactions.



  • Thank you Captain,

    You are right, my oldest is mini mommy. She is very intelligent and knows it. Unfortunately she has to be reminded from time to time that intelligence without knowledge and wisdom is not sufficient. She also has to be reminded that I am the mother, her greatest supporter, and the last person she wants as an enemy. I really can't complain though. She is a 'A' student in the 8th grade with no help, has a hunger for reading and writing, and is already planning her college education.

    The little one is a butterfly who can at times surprise us when she flutters in to drop a very pungent yet profound dose of wisdom. It took her an extra year of kindergarten to acknowledge the importance of learning what others have to teach. And yes, though she floats freely through life, when something happens that disappoints her she pouts inconsolably way too long, very stubborn. Otherwise she is floating in her own bliss.

    I had an interesting discovery yesterday. I added up all of our birthdays and even their father's though we are divorced (11Feb66, 6Feb98, 15Sep00, and 31Jan74) and found that all four of us have the tarot card of strength, the number 8, and Pluto. What are the odds of that?

    Well, thank you for your insight. I will ruminate over it a bit and take head.



  • SalientLiving, with all those 8s you must have a very powerful and ambitious family.



  • My dear Captain,

    You are so generous

    When you get the chance, I really could use a reading about me and my mother.

    We have always had a difficult relationship, although have fun and share a same sense of humor...

    She needs to move and I'm the only child...so am working with her and my Sonone to get her up to his town in Eastport, ME.

    Ok, I'll shut-up and give you the data! Thank you eternally, you're such a Sweetheart! ❤

    my Mom: 01/23/1935

    me: 10/30/1955

    And my son...who will be dealing with her-if she moves to Eastport!

    He is 12/26/1976.

    My heartfelt gratitude,

    X

    X

    X

    Lisa



  • Score

    You and your mother: frankness and forthrightness contribute significantly here to clearing the air and preventing the buildup of resentments through misunderstanding. So think on this as you two battle it out. Holding back can hurt more in the long run. Together you two have a far broader vision than you each do alone, a big picture approach which is the hallmark of this relationship. At its best, your relationship is large-scale, realistic and dynamic. At its worst, it can be guarded, selfish and unfulfilled. There is a high-voltage chemistry between you that provides either sparks of tremendous energy and forward momentum, or explosions of friction and stress. Instability is only a problem here if psychological strain or breakdowns in communication occur and produce anxiety. It is usually your freedom-loving mother who will take the lead, showing everyone another way of approaching life. Once you Score get the idea, however, you are more than able to hold up your end of the relationship. If you try to control your mother in any way, she will back off or rebel. She may hold back or refuse to acknowledge the extent of her emotions, much to your frustration and your need for a deeper connection. Neither of you is likely to be too open or vulnerable with each other and the relationship can suffer from a lack of sharing. Your mother is blessed with a real sense of what's on the next horizon. She also knows how to 'work the room'. But she must guard against a domineering or tyrannical streak. A tendency towards emotionalism and extreme behaviour should lessen as she matures, and as a result, she will set her sights quite high when it comes to personal and social achievements. Though recklessness and a tendency to start more than she can ever finish can work to her detriment, once she fixes her mind on the vision of a new concept, invention, oe even a whole new world, then she can overcome these negative inclinations. If she can develop the personal discipline and the study and work habits necessary to bring her fine mind to a cutting edge, she is certain to achieve her goals and dreams.

    Your mother and your son: this duo is into control, skill, and shares an eye for perfection. Whether it be of their diet or exercise, their environment, their needs and wants, or their minds or emotions, there is an uncompromising attitude of self-deprivation and self-denial here. The possession of such control can be a great gratification in itself. A shared gearing towards technical proficiency or mastery is also common for this pair. The danger is that this sort of emphasis may lead the relationship in a very different direction, denying the need for the kindness, affection and sympathy that relatives should have for each other. These two, if they live together, can show an obsession with domestic high standards, dictating that they spend most of their time making their home or themselves beautiful and ideal. Human feelings can get lost in this mad scramble for perfection.



  • Dear Captain ,

    I am very interested to have a compatibility reading done

    My dob 27-4-69

    My daughter 1-4-00

    my eldest son 12-12-02

    my youngest son 22-3-07

    Thanks in advance Mags



  • Captain wow another great thread!

    Me: 28 November 1969

    son: 12 october 1999

    Thanks again!



  • LivingonaPrayer, I will get back to yours when I have more time later today. I will just do Suramya's now as it is a shorter request.



  • Suramya

    You and your son: this relationship is often a serious one, and neither person will deny its importance to them. But it may not be fully appreciated until your son is more mature. There is almost always some sort of dependency involved here, yet it is in no way debilitating or addictive; in fact, it is strengthening, since each person is likely to have a total (but objective) involvement with the other's needs in any time of crisis. Furthermore, when the crisis has passed, you will both feel free to engage in matters unrelated to each other's lives, although you will remain involved. Your indecisivenss Suramya can sometimes clash with your son's temper to create difficulties. Impatience can break out when the relationship is under stress, but the understanding and commitment found here can usually overcome such problems. You are both strong-willed individuals so conflict is inevitable but it can result in a renewed sense of purpose. You two usually share moral beliefs so you can proceed with a common underlying sense of what behaviour is correct and what is not. Suramya, you may have to steer your son towards spiritual matters and help him realise that true fulfillment will come to him through selfless service and belief in a HIgher Power. Your son may suffer from a tendency to become restless and bored and must develop a good study habit and self-discipline if he is to achieve success. He has a compelling versatile personality but will have to work to apply himself to developing his craft or widening his body of knowledge in a given area in order to generate real passion or conviction. By focusing on a particular area of expertise, he will enlarge and deepen his sense of self. He has the natural dedication and drive to accomplish almost anything he sets out to do. There is a danger however that he may appreciate mental freedom more than painstaking effort. Ego issues or a need to talk on all sorts of subjects may also interfere with his process of individuality through education. There are as many prima donnas and blowhards with this particular profile as there are genuine artists and dedicated deep thinkers. If your son can avoid too much detachment on the one hand and too great a need for recognition on the other, he will find both peace and real authority on his lifepath.



  • LivingonaPrayer

    You and your daughter: this matchup has a strong pioneering spirit. Yet it is not a particularly flexible relationship. You LoaP may feel a bit threatened by your daughter’s fiery energy but, as long as you stay in charge and your dominant position goes unchallenged, this relationship will go well. Problems can arise however when you are confronted by what your child really thinks of you. You won’t want to hear it but, because you are very authoritarian in your parenting, your daughter may be unable to resist the temptation to puncture your balloon of self-importance. You like to be admired and respected unconditionally by your children so your open, honest and not very diplomatic daughter may raise acute problems here. Her need to be free and her resentment of being treated like a child may prove difficult for you as you can be very over-protective towards your kids. Your daughter has a certain spontaneity and enthusiasm that will serve her well in the search for greater emotional integration. A tendency to maintain a rather superficial or over idealistic view of the world may hold her back but, by maintaining a positive attitude, she can temper any moodiness and find an ease in interacting with others. If she doesn’t retreat into feeling eternally misunderstood or unappreciated and answers the call to deeper emotionalism, all will go very well for her.

    You and your oldest son: at first glance, this relationship would seem like a power struggle between two determined individuals. You with your pragmatic, stubborn nature and your son’s more expansive and high-minded personality can clash, making it difficult for a family matchup, but there are deeper forces at work here. Together you can bring out many unexpressed aspects in each other, including a spiritual side, greater emotional trust and awareness, and the ability to explore larger issues and meanings. Deep levels of open sharing and trust can be achieved if feelings are not closed down and sensitivity is cultivated. The downside of this heightened awareness is a tendency to overreact or to be knocked off balance. Indeed the sensitivity of the relationship can become a problem, forcing the two of you to build walls to protect yourselves, so that you appear much tougher and more pragmatic than you really are. Power struggles between you can produce very negative results in the family - battles of mammoth proportions and an inability to back down or compromise is quite characteristic of this combination. Your son will stubbornly want his own way and you will want him to obey yours. Unfortunately, the sensitivity here can trigger upset more often than it is used to reach deeper levels of understanding. Try not to let your buttons be pushed so easily by each other. Your son will have no problems seeing life’s limitations as mere illusions. But problems will arise if he allows himself to collapse into feelings of victimhood or martyrdom when things don’t go his way. He must shore up his own ego when others won’t or can’t. If he can control a tendency to be rather fussy on the one hand or overly aggressive or resistant to authority on the other, there is little that can go wrong on the life path of this adventurous and talented soul.

    You and your youngest son: this relationship may lack a deep emotional tie; a healthy relationship here does not involve deep bonding or emotional soul-searching, but shared pleasures. It has the virtue of being self-correcting: should the contrasting needs of you and your son put it out of kilter, the relationship will usually revert to a balanced state and be put right by a good healthy dose of shared enjoyment. Thus the relationship can be likened to a doctor who can cure people’s ills simply by paying attention to them. Problems living together can emerge however - you LoaP are a hard worker who enjoys a quiet home environment and your son is often too nervous and emotional to give you any rest. Also, he can grow bored with your stolid parenting approach and may tend to rebel or ignore you. He may also want a deeper level of emotional involvement than you are prepared or able to give him. You may be unwilling to spend the necessary time trying to unravel the intricacies and subtleties of your son’s nature. If you two can avoid conflicts or blame over the repression or sharing of feelings, and instead share pleasurable and fun activities like food, travel, theatrical or musical performances, TV, a hobby or just plain doing nothing, this relationship will flow much more smoothly. While your son may experience some trepidation about looking inward to get in better touch with his deepest motivations, his search for greater self-awareness will be well worth the effort. There is a risk that he will become hopelessly alienated, self-pitying, misanthropic, or self-involved in the extreme, yet he is gifted with an overriding need to love and be loved that will almost certainly prove the means for his transformation and higher development. After grappling with his inner conflicts, he will find his fulfilment in going the distance on behalf of something he cares about and can devote himself to.



  • Dear Captian,

    Im sorry i didnt mean to overload you thankyou so much for taking the time to do this for me i really appreaciate it you were so spot on with all of them im lost for words especially with my middle child i have to maintain focus the power struggles are very strong between us .

    Once again many thanks LOAP



  • Captain---This is such a great idea!!!

    Me - 11-13-72

    Son - 5-21-99

    Son - 2-19-01

    Thanks!!!



  • Scorpiosc

    You and your son 5/21/99: you two will both benefit from the support of your family, school friends, and social influences as such groups tend to mitigate your tendency to isolate yourselves. Interaction with a group will force you to interact socially on a daily basis, and strengthen the relationship and make it more flexible. Your parental possessiveness and your son's fickleness and game-playing will have to be monitored and dealt with carefully. Demands between you are high and neither of you may be aware of the stakes involved. You two are magnetically drawn to each other and can get jealous when other people come between you. The relationship's sensitivity renders it precious and fragile, like rare crystal. It may be a long time before you two completely trust and accept each other, and you would be wise not to push or try to rush this process. Respect will emerge, not just the type that implies

    general human value, or that recognizes an undue level of dedication. It is the kind of respect generated when you realize that someone is capable of hurting you but chooses not to - and also a respect for the unique nature of a relationship that can see you both through good times and bad. The sharing of artistic or spiritual pursuits can be very satisfying here. Your son cares, maybe too much, about what others think. He has a tendency to be a little too superficial and may become entangled into merely acting out his anxieties and emotional burdens until he is forced - often by personal setbacks - to take the time to turn his energy into developing a set of his own core beliefs and opinions. He must also develop the ability to finish what he starts. Once his true beliefs are discovered and properly formulated, he will be less likely to back down from a fight or give up. When he learns to meet challenges head-on, and to only cultivate friendships with those who both admire his talents AND appreciate his strengths, then he will develop a greater sense of purpose and all will go very well for him.

    You and your son 2/19/01: you two can get very bored with the ordinary and the conventional. Your relationship is unlikely to follow the rules, and isolation from social control can breed some interesting fantasies which are often kept private and exclusive from the rest of the family. But it can also be let loose on those in your immediate environment, unsettling other family members. Your son and you both may have been or will be bullied at school as a result of your sensitivity so friends and associates must be carefully chosen. An undeniably bizarre quality infuses this relationship - your twin odd and unusual aspects are triggered here. And as odd as you two are together, you are even more obsessed with the unconventional behaviour of others, yet show no empathy for it. Perhaps chronicling, dissecting, and ultimately passing judgment on the foibles of your peers is simply a knee-jerk reaction to your own fears and insecurities. The fact that these judgments are a vehicle for projection may not be evident at first. That the pair of you are rather unconcerned about your public image allows you to be even more unruly and/or obnoxious. Watch that you don't alienate other family members. Take other people's feelings into account and cultivate more kindness and empathy. Wearing too much personal armour will be a big stumbling block for your son, but he is gifted with the fortitude and endurance to overcome even the most overwhelming obstacles. He must find the right balance between worldly idealism and deep inner sensitivity. He has a pronounced tendency to shut down emotionally and focus on outside interests or his career at the expense of his deeper need for creative expression. Such repression can manifest as a harsh or ruthless attitude as he seeks to protect himself against intrusions on his private inner world. Yet the secrets of sensitivity and creativity will definitely be revealed to him on his life journey - his great challenge is to be able to risk greater integration of his own personality and to come to terms with his emotional depth. When he finds the courage to face his fears and embrace the unusual and unconditional, his soul will be liberated in an uniquely fulfilling way.



  • Please Captain may I also bug you for a child-parent reading?

    Me: Aug 1 1965

    Youngest son: Dec 20, 1995

    Thank you in advance~hugs



  • Feangelikah

    You and your son: the theme of this relationship has to do with moving from the past towards the future. Of course, development and evolution are implied here, but also the passage from the old to the new and the continuance of tradition - both the dropping of bad habits and the streamlining of out-of-date approaches. As individuals, you two each have a strongly traditional side and yet also modern thoughts that cry out to be recognized. You two generally rely on intuition to know how much dead wood has to be cut away and what direction a family (or even a business) should take. You, Feangelikah, will need to have plenty of patience with your son. There may be a problem with open communication between you and with developing deep tolerance and understanding. Your son will want you to maintain an abiding interest in his problems and struggles, whereas you need an appreciative audience and freedom from heavy moods and negativity. Your extroversion will clash with his introversion. The relationship rarely meets both your needs, often resulting in frustration and a desire to escape. You may be put off by your son's silent treatment, which you take to mean criticism or disapproval. He in turn may find you over-aggressive and will resent your authority. But he will also appreciate your openness to his unusual ideas and, if you two can overcome your personal differences, your relationship can do very well. At your best, you are a wise, pioneering duo capable of forwarding the aspirations of those around you. At its worst, your relationship can be frustrated, difficult, and incompatible. Your son must learn to trust others as much as he trusts his own instincts. He is a strange mix of expansion and introversion and must learn to channel his energies in such a way that they can be shared and expressed. Sharing does not come easily to him, for he tends to hesitate and second-guess himself to the point where the significance or timeliness of his insights can be lost. Still he has a fine ability to attune himself to the needs of the many and is capable of shouldering great responsibility without complaint. If he will just relax a bit and lose his more self-conscious qualities through social connections to others, his wisdom and worldly perceptions will be of benefit to everyone. He will find great fulfillment in helping others to tap into their intuition.



  • Thanks captain...very accurate as usual.You have got my son down to a T!



  • Hi Captain,

    A very interesting idea.

    My daughter 11-12-2003

    Me 12-1-1973

    Signiicant other 7-3-1970

    Thanks in advance!

    GreyStar



  • Captain, Could you do one for my parents and I. My father is deceased, though. Me 9-26-1965, father 12-27-1932, mother 2 -17-1933.



  • me 4/4/1991

    pops 6/19/1956



  • GreyStar

    You and your daughter: two distinct scenarios can occur in this relationship. The first is that you two will waste your time in rebellious battles, where your daughter tries in vain to boss you around. The second scenario - and the more meaningful one - has you combining your talents in an all-out joint assault on closed minds and reactionary attitudes. The second scenario, of course, will give you a constructive outlet for your considerable creativity together and will also bring you closer on a personal level. But you may have to deal with the first scenario while your daughter is young - and those early years can be very stormy indeed. You two can love or intensely dislike each other in equal measure sometimes. Your daughter will always strive for control and, even though it will probably be to no avail, her attempts will still raise your temperature with the result that you either flee or fight. Your daughter can be a tough customer in battle and you for your part generally don't admit defeat easily. The love between you is not of the completely unconditional sort - you both may hold back from giving your all, even when you are at your most loving. It would be to your advantage for the two of you to find a more creative outlet for your aggression and try not to put conditions on your love. It will be important for your worldly-wise daughter to nurture and develop the qualities of creativity, spontaneity, and faith that lie within her. She will work very hard to get others to like or approve of her and may substitute the ability to manipulate them for a more genuine sense of fulfillment. She may even use charm and sexual politics to get what she wants when she is older. Yet once she understands that it is indeed possible to change her life simply by changing her perceptions, and successfully attunes herself to a sense of deeper belonging, she will have a joyous and bountiful journey. By releasing her emotional conflicts and adopting a more open natural approach to life, she will be certain to succeed.

    Your significant other and your daughter: this relationship has a poetic and deeply spiritual quality. These two are capable of a connection that will bring them both peace and rest. The relationship has an energy that can prove infectious and uplifting to those around it. This pair are very attuned to each other's thoughts and feelings and their relationship has the quality of friendship, creating an unusually close, trusting and understanding bond. They mustn't get so blissed out that they forget their duties and responsiblities and other people's needs, though.


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