Captain can you see him in my life?

  • I haven't been on here in awhile after my computer had to get repaired.

    I saw my cancer on July 24th, this past summer. I went to find him. he was glad (always happy once he sees me) but was upset that I looked for him, though he told me early on that I could, however, as he has changed his mind since.

    we had a wonderful night time together as I saw it. I offered to make him dinner the next day. he said he' call. he didn't, I cooked anyway and dropped it off on his porch as a surprise. and didn't hear from him. I called days later angrily, and left a msg or 2.

    he then answered a 3rd call and broke up with me saying I was possessive (remember I bought his things and he was insecure about it) anyway, I cried, he said he doesn't see anything growing between us. I saw him on the street and he was walking with a girl he said was a friend from work. he acted as if I was a stranger. I cried to him and said I was sorry. he said why didn't I call him, i said he told me not to. i said why are you throwing me away and he said this is why I don't want this. and he didn't give a reason. he said we already talked about it.

    after that day on the street, 2 thursdays in a row in late aug early sept, i saw him drive up my street on his way home from a job. he saw me outside and peeked at me, the 2nd time he drove by very slowly at a snails pace. (he didn't have to drive up my street)

    I haven't heard from him since. I called him once in October left a msg asking how he is and no response. and I called today on the new moon, new beginnings.

    left a msg, I was calm and told him I wanted to bury the hatchet and make peace with him, I asked how he is, that I miss him and it doesn't feel right how things ended and I would like to talk to him, and I hope he feels the same to want to talk about what happened. I didn't pressure or anything. I did this on the new moon when venus is still retrograde, but a good time to heal relationships.

    there is so much more I cannot explain, but even without telling you what I have, Can you get a sense at to what will happen between the 2 of us. our horoscopes say that we both will smooth out a relationship from the past.

    Any insight? I miss him and truly love him. That is why I made the effort to contact him, but I cannot do it again. I

    he is a cancer 6-30-76

    I am a virgo 9-21-65

  • Girl I gotcha on this one!

    I know just how you feel, BELIEVE ME! I am an earth sign like you (I'm capricorn).

    Face it girl, we ARE posessive! It's our nature! LOL

    It is obvious that this guy is younger and you know how younger guys are, or if you don't let me tell you:

    Odds are, they are just not up to our level yet, literally (some guys never even get there no matter what thier age or the age difference ) ; )

    It's hard enough to find a guy your own age that's on your level (that is not to put down men; it is to explain) Girls actually do mature earlier than boys. Guys usually don't hit thier growth spurt or puberty until after girls thier own age have begun developing. Ask your pediatrician;they'll tell you the same.

    True, there will always be guys who are exceptions to the rule; but remember, they are the exceptions not the rule!

    From what I gathered from your post is that he's younger, still restless and you are a care taker. It seems maybe you are more into him than he is into you right now.

    If he does have true feelings for you, maybe he's wierded out about settling down just yet. Maybe he is just insecure, or maybe you are being a little possessive.

    But let me tell you a trick I learned because I have been in your shoes. Though I am younger, I have walked same trecherous and lonely miles way too early in life, but because of that I had to learn some hard lessons fast.

    I learned from my own experience other girls that chasing after a man and buying him things is the sure-fire way to chase them off. The old cliche about "playing hard to get" and "always leave 'em wanting more" are cliches for a reason; because they are TRUE!

    I would suggest if you truly love him you gotta let him go.

    The only way to know he's yours is to let him go and if he comes back he's yours truly.

    Men love the chase. It's thier nature. Even married men, for example Bill Cosby and his wife (I forget her name), she still played hard to get with him and he still chased her. I know it's a tv show, but it's true in real life. Watch happy couples from now on and notice how those women behave.

    Even if you feel insecure about yourself you've got to fake it til you make it. Pretend that you've accepted the stuation and have moved on. Show him you are strong, confident, and deserve better than he has offered you. Make him guess what you're up to. If he loves you he will naturally get curious again and will come around. If he doesn't then your better off without him. You deserve to be loved just like everyone else and if he is giving you less than that you need to move on so that you won't be at the airport when your ship does role in.!

  • No she's not pretending to let him go and going on happy with her life, she IS letting him go.

    Don't do this to yourself. Been there, done that, you deserve better than having your life be in limbo bc of sb else.

    There are better people out there who won't be like this. Do you want to deal with this in the future? When are you going to put your foot down? It should stop NOW.

  • mintgirl123, thank you fro your response. Actually he is younger, but he has had 3 serious relationships, and 3 children. and one of those females was 15 years older than him! so, he knows how to be around women of all ages. however, I am the most sophisticated and cultured he knows, as well as, openly loving and attentive and kind and generous. so, that shouldn't be the problem. he never called me regarding the concert and he saw me at a gas station and drove by without a second look.

    the same night, I saw a guy that looked a lot like him with a woman and child. the girl was outside of a convenience store, texting. the boy and father were inside, and the guy got her a rose. on his way out she was too busy to notice him and he handed it to her and she looked at him and smiled and thanked him, he leaned in and kissed her, the 5 yr old boy got a kiss too.

    so, I did watch her (funny you should say that) he was the one acting like the leader, she ignored him, but followed him. he carried the boys backpack. they seemed balance that she does her role and he does his. I didn't give him the chance to do his role.

    I do believe that, if you love someone let them go, if they come back they are yours, if not they never were. I just don't know if it always applies. I suppose it should.

    besides I want the man to lead. so, I will do my absolute best to back off, don't contact, walk by if I see him, don't look his way. I always felt this behavior was playing games, but i guess it isn't and it is necessary. even so, I miss him and want him in my life as my man.

    thank you for your insight and replying. I appreciate your words of wisdom.


  • This relationship is good for friendship - and a limited one at that - nothing more. Move on to find real love with your soulmate who is still out there. A truly loving relationship makes you feel energised and happy, not sad and tired like you are now. This guy will never love you as you deserve to be loved. He is now at the stage of just toying with you and using you.

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