Dear hanswolfgang

  • dear hans

    i hope all is good with you. can you help me please, I still struggle on with J who now is farther away than he has ever been from me, is there any hope left at all for us to get back together


  • Ultrablondbird,

    help me: try to be contented in your own space being with yourself.

    is there any hope left at all for us to get back together: yes.


    J is too old and too much fixed in his approach to life. Drop all concern with anyone. Choose your own way.

  • Thank you

  • so my own way is to sell the house and move somewhere more central to in some way start afresh - are you saying if i do this J will follow?#


  • sorry me again - you also mentioned previously J will sell the business - is this still likely

    what about miss N



  • Ultrablondbird,

    if i do this J will follow? no.

    is this still likely: no.

    what about miss N: her heart wants to go into the unknown, but her mind is clinging to the known.


    I don´t say they don´t get it -- it is just that they don´t agree to take it up.

  • dear hans

    i am very confused by your answers

    i iwsh i knew what to do

  • Ultrablondbird,

    i iwsh i knew what to do: just think, that you are feeling better.

    Then you are ready to endure this unfathomable, then you will find courage to dive into it, this willo give you the courage.

  • dear hans thanks for your answers

    what about miss N: her heart wants to go into the unknown, but her mind is clinging to the known. - Are you saying that she wants to leave but she is worried about this


    I don´t say they don´t get it -- it is just that they don´t agree to take it up. - can you tell me specifically what this means please



  • bump

  • Ultrablondbird,

    Are you saying that she wants to leave but she is worried about this: yes.

    can you tell me specifically what this means please: you cling to your truth, but when truth comes from the heart, it is a completely different energy and it is always then the truth for everybody not just yourself.

    Lisa, your love feels to me..... I feel as though there is an obsessional quality... as though underneath the surface there is an anguish.

  • HI there Hans thanks for your comments. I guess what is underneath the surface is an anguish....of being alone.

    I have had my suspicions confirmed today that J and N are back together. I feel of course devestated. I want it to work between him and I but feel hopeless now. I dont think for a moment it will last between them but he seems to be on the same downward spiral as this time last year. It makes no sense at all. He has been lying to me again and worse to the children.

    can you help ?



  • Ultrablondbird,

    can you help ? the joy you wanted to achieve transform its position into a state of suffering and you are waiting for impulses from outside. Drop the hopes and the waiting and follow your energy.


    watch your deep breath day in and day out.

  • so you are seeing Ineed to give up all hope and just get on ?



  • Ultrablondbird,

    so you are seeing Ineed to give up all hope and just get on ? yes.


    you do need bliss.

    Feel it

    and you will have it. You are missing it only because

    you have not looked at it through feeling. And feeling

    is real life. Thinking is phoney because thinking is

    always about; it is never the real thing.

  • Understanding Justice: Understand the situation (relationship) ffirst. You cant accept and let go if you do not understand it. Right. You need clarity. Right. You are in the relationship not I of Hans. You hold the answer. No one should ever tell you what to do. You own your will.:)

    Now you are or must be aware that we all end up alone..that is part of becoming whole. Grounding self mentally physically and spiritually so we can be a whole self loved and fullfilled being and have a selfless long lasting fruitfull relationship.

    If you do not trust your own you really think you will attract a loyal and trusting partner?

    Here it goes agian self love first...remember if you do not have a self passion....vareer..endeavor will not attract one who becomes a need for a security and happiness not attained by ones divine self.

    "I embrace the divine path that allows my true hearts desires to manifest in abundance"

    "I embrace the divine acceptance and truth in all my relationships including my physical and spirited self"

    Peace Love Prosperity

    Divine Love


  • hi hans

    what do you see right now for me pplease


  • Ultrablondbird,

    what do you see right now for me pplease: you have to work, piece for piece, step for step.

    Happiness with a reason is not deep joy. If the reason falls away, the happiness disappears. The only real joy is in the heart, it is the result of inner strength and purity. If you need other people in order to be happy, to be mentally alive, to fill your days, then you do not live yourself.

    Protection against affliction brings mutual joy. Talking turns very easily into a discussion. Stay calm and relaxed. Don't expect to be put in the right, agreeing is not necessary for a good contact. You can like a person without liking his convictions. Stay curious and positive towards ideas different from your own.


    During his sojourn at a village, a fakir was

    approached by its people who asked: "Will you not come

    to our temple, and tell us whether God is or is not?"

    The fakir replied: "God? What has that got to do with

    you? Go, do your work. No one has anything to do with

    God. If it were so, this world would be a different

    place altogether Then this world would not be so ugly,

    so vile, so arrogant. If we had any purpose with God,

    we would have made a different world altogether. No, we

    have no interest in this direction, nor do those who

    sit in temples. The priests, the sadhus, crowds of

    sannyasins and gurus that have gathered together in His

    name, not even they have any interest in God; nor those

    that offer flowers and break coconuts on the temple

    walls. If God meant anything to us, this would have

    been a different place altogether. Go do your work;

    what business have you with God? Do not waste your


    But the people would not leave him: "Today is a

    holiday, please do come."

    Said the fakir: "So that is it: Now I understand.

    Because today is a holiday, you have time to spare for

    God. Man cannot sit without work, so when he has

    nothing to do, be thinks of God, and he tells his

    beads. So today is a holiday? Alright I shall come. But

    what will I tell you about God? For nothing could ever

    be said about God up to now. Those who said, made a

    mistake. Those who know, remained silent. I would be

    foolish if I said anything, for that will prove that I

    do not know. And you insist that I go with you? All

    right I will."

    They went to the Masjid. There was a big crowd there.

    Crowds create illusions. It appeared as if people were

    eager to know about God. So the fakir said, "Since so

    many of you are eager to know about God, may I ask you:

    Do you believe in God? Does God exist?" All the people

    lifted their hands in acquiescence -- they knew God is

    and believed in Him.

    "Then the matter ends there," said the fakir. "Since

    you are convinced that God is, there is no need for me

    to say anything. I must go back." And he left.

    The people were nonplussed. They did not know what to

    do! Since they had raised their hands in favour of His

    existence they could not possibly turn round and deny

    Him. And who knows? Do you? But if anyone asks, you too

    will raise your hands.

    This act is a lie! Truth cannot descend by any means

    into the life of a man who thus lies before God. And

    when a man gives false evidence of God's existence,

    when he has not the slightest idea of His whereabouts,

    he closes all doors of life to let him in. Then no ray

    of the eternal spirit descends in him. No light of the

    Supreme Reality will ever burn within him; no prayer v

    ill ever flow from within him; no flowers of divinity

    will ever bloom within him -- and yet he is convinced

    of God's existence! For this man does not take the

    trouble to look within himself and realize that he is

    uttering an atrocious lie; that he knows nothing


    And thus fathers prevaricate untruths to sons, and

    gurus to their disciples, and religious heads to their

    followers. None of them know of the existence of God.

    If you ask for clarification, they are shaken and their

    God-concepts crumble to bits, for no voice from within

    will corroborate their statement. Perhaps as he tells

    you that God exists, a voice within him reprimands him:

    "What is this you say? You do not know at all!"

    The fakir said: "Since you already know that God is,

    the matter is finished. But it surprises me that a

    village where so many people believe in God should be

    no different from any other village It is just the


    The village folk were now worried. What should they

    do? The next Friday they went to him again with the

    same request. The fakir said: "Last time you said you

    know God is. Now there is nothing left to say."

    "Those were different people. We do not know God.

    Please come and enlighten us," they said.

    The fakir exclaimed: "Oh wonderful Lord! These are

    the same people, I recognize their faces -- but they

    have changed!" The fact is, it does not take long for a

    religious man to change. A more dishonest person than

    he, would be hard to find: he is a different man in his

    shop and quite another in the church: and no sooner he

    leaves the church he is a completely different person.

    The fakir said: "Praise be to the Lord! How these

    people have changed! Never mind, if you are different

    people, I shall go." He went to the Masjid and said:

    "Friends, I ask the same question again, for today I am

    told there are different people, though many faces look

    familiar. 'Is there God?'"

    The people replied in one voice: "No, God is not. We

    do not believe in Him, now you explain."

    The fakir said: "Then the matter is over. When there

    is no God, where is the need to talk about Him? When He

    does not exist, then to what does your question relate?

    Is it in connection with that which is not? Which God,

    What kind of God, do you ask about?"

    The people were floundered. It was difficult to get

    anywhere with this man. He told them: "Go back home.

    Why do you come at all in search of that which is not?

    What is your quest when you have found out He does not

    exist? Forgive me now and let me go."

    The wise men of the village were now all the more

    anxious to hear him for they were convinced he held a

    secret. He was no ordinary fakir -- for an ordinary

    person is always eager to talk; give him a chance and

    he will speak. But this man turns down all occasions to

    speak! There is a mystery about this man.

    On the third Friday they went to him again and put

    the same request, "But I have already been twice and

    the matter is ended," the fakir said.

    The people said: "Today it is quite a different

    affair. Please come, for this time we shall give quite

    a different answer.

    To this the fakir said: "He who comes prepared, his

    answers are always untrue. It only shows that you do

    not know the answer. He who knows, needs no

    preparation. Only he who does not, needs to be


    Remember, all the answers you have come armed with,

    are false. Answers that "come" are the correct answers

    in life. All others are false. Truth is never prepared.

    Truth comes; untruth is always fabricated. Whatever the

    compound, is false; whatever comes, is the Truth. Truth

    is never provided, therefore whatever man prepares is

    anything but Truth. That is why all scriptures and

    doctrines and sects of the world are false, for man has

    made them. Man is not capable of creating Truth. Truth

    comes when this illusion falls that he can produce

    Truth. When man leaves all the man made tenets, Truth

    descends into him.

    The fakir said: "I can tell you without your telling

    me, that your answers are false. But still, I shall go

    with you."

    He went for the third time. Perhaps the village

    pundit thought they were very clever. They little knew

    that cleverness does not pay in the realm of Truth.

    But the wise men of the village were confident. They

    were bent upon pinning the fakir down today. But they

    did not know that the very word fakir meant one who has

    broken all bridges that ensnare. They also did not know

    that when a man tries to ensnare another he gets

    trapped himself.

    The fakir, however, went to the masjid. He addressed

    the gathering: "Friends, for the third time, the same

    question again. 'Does God exist or does He not?'"

    Half the congregation raised their hands and said

    "God is" and the other half raised their hands and said

    "God is not." And on this they requested the fakir to

    speak. The fakir folded his hand and looked up at the

    sky: "Lord, this village is very entertaining!" Then he

    turned to the crowd: "You fools, since half of you know

    and half of you don't, why don't those of you who know

    tell the others who don't? Why do you drag me in

    between? You decide among yourselves." And he left.

    Then the village pundits did not go a fourth time.

    They tried very hard to coin the fourth answer but they

    could not. The fact is, there are only three answers --

    yes, no, or both.

    The fakir tarried long in the village, hoping they

    would come again but they did not. When someone asked

    him why he still stayed on, he said: "I am waiting for

    them. They might come for the fourth time, but they

    have not come."

    "How can they?" the man asked. "What answer they

    could give you for the fourth time, they do not know."

    The fakir, said, "If I were to tell you, my answer

    would also become useless, because for you, it will

    again become a ready-made reply."

    The fakir then writes in his autobiography: "I waited

    for them to come and take me once more to the temple;

    and if they gave no reply when I asked the question,

    and if they waited in silence, I would have had to

    speak -- for their silence would have proved the

    sincerity of their quest."

  • dear hans

    thank you for your responses

    I have another question, I am thinking of asking jer to share a meal with us all on christmas day - should I do this and do you think he will accept


  • Ultrablondbird,

    should I do this: yes.

    and do you think he will accept: no.


    the moment you understand that this is something absurd, drop it. Transformation is not needed. And transformation is not possible either, because guilt is not a real thing. It is just an idea enforced in your mind. It is like a person who by mistake has learned that two plus two are five. Now, do you think some transformation is needed? All that is needed is to tell that person: “Two plus two are not five but only four.” Just put four chairs before him – two chairs on this side, two chairs on this side – bring them together and tell him to count, whether they are five or four. And do you think he will have much difficulty in dropping the idea of five? There is no question. The moment he sees that two plus two is four, the five is finished.

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