Somebody , Anybody Please help this scorpio !
Im a Scorpio female .This Cancer Man did something that was very hurtful ! I called him out on it and now he's treating me like I had no right to confront him about it ! Now he's doing the whole Ignoring/ Disappearing act etc... Is he mad because I caught him in a lie ? Is he embarrassed ? How long does it takes for them to bounce back? I have let the whole situation go on my end( He would know if he would answer the phone )
Anybody out there ever experience this type of behavior with a Cancer Man ? What should I do next ?
Our Birthdays are
What did he do - and how exactly did you react? No intuition, i ching, astrological, or tarot reading for now - just straight talk from one sister to another.
Im gonna give you a little background about us. We are childhood friends . I've known him since age 8 . This is what happened on Sept 19 .
Hey Peeps. Well as yall know the game was this weekend. I arrived at the game and me and my girlfriend started looking for him. we were prepared we even had binoculars ! I thought that he would be on the field , But I did not see him . Then when the game was over and everyone was leaving that's when I found him . We were sitting in the same section but he was in the 1st row and I was in the 38th row , He started walking up the steps , My girlfriend was the lookout , He does not know her . She had on her sunglasses , so she had a clear view of him . and he could not tell that she was staring at him . I had my back turned to him . He did not reconize me at all . We walked out of the alise and by that time he was DIRECTLY BEHIND ME !!! I started talking to my friend . He realized it was me by my voice . I was waiting to see if he was atleast going to speak . When he didnt I turned around only to see him cutting through another alise walking real fast ... ( Remember he does not know I saw him do this ) My girlfriend said She know he saw me because he looked right at the both of us , ( Remember my back was turned to him ) So he thinks I never saw him. My girlfriend said " Why didnt you stop him " I really flored . I could not believe he would do something like that. We continued to exit the stadium , while we were walking we ran into some of the football players who told us that it was a after party downtown ( Oh they did win the game ) we exchanged numbers . After we left the stadium I was still upset . I wanted to call , but I know he wouldnt answer . My girlfriend said you know all the football players are gonna be at the after party so well catch him there . I told her that I didn't think he would come because he's not a club person . We go to the party and it was cool . My mind was still on him though. Right when we were getting ready to leave the players started showing up . We hung out with the one who told us about the party . Next thing I know His Brother/roomate walks in . Of course no sign of him though . We left , went back to the hotel . I could not sleep , I could not believe he would do that . OK ignoring phone calls/ text mess is one thing , but to just act like you never saw me ! That really hurt !!! The next day comes and were on the road going home . When I got home that's when I broke down . I decided enough is enough ! I was gonna just let the whole thing go and totally just stop speaking to him / cut all communication but I had to let him know that I saw what he did and it really hurt my feelings. I called him ( Of course no answer ) I could not leave a voice message because his mail box was full . so I sent him this Text - I was calling to let you know that I saw you at the game and I saw you dip out real quick.. Now I would have called your **** out at the stadium but it was your school/workplace, it was not the right time and I would never do anything to embarrass/jepordize your reputation at the school. Now if I have done anything to upset/ offend you I apologize, but what you did at the stadium was **** up. I thought we were better than that. Friends don't do each other like that . I would never carry you like you carried me. Now let me know what's going on . Let me know if I need to fallback . If I don't receive a responce it will really let me know what to do because actions do speak louder than word and that is what you displayed yesterday "
Sorry the story is so long
Oh I left out that before this incident I was in his town . We hung out , He wanted to have sex . I said no. I called trying to explain why I said no. ( No answer )
No problem about the length of the story. I think that what we have here is clearly a failure to communicate like adults, two extremely sensitive and perhaps quick to jump to conclusions people, and on top of it - some serious manipulation.
I'm not sure from the story why you had your girlfriend on the lookout with binoculars? But I can only imagine (my Moon is in Cancer), that if I caught anyone ogling me with binocs, I'd be weirded out. The fact that he heard your voice, and you tried to conceal yourself - just made him feel manipulated on top of spied on. Cancers are incredibly giving and loving; but also very guarded. They are quick to be hurt, and very sensitive. He was probably wondering what kind of friend acts like that? And if there is sexual tension/history there - you not saying hello to him, and acting dodgy would definitely hurt him; which means he will shut you out, at least emotionally.
I'm sorry to come off pointing out the "look what you did" because that's not what you want to hear, I know. And I'm not judging, because while I have bits and pieces of a story of one day/evening - I haven't got the entire viewpoint that you do.
Also, you came on very strong in reaction to his walking away. In stereotypical Scorpio fashion, you felt wronged by him, and not only let him know that your feelings were hurt; but rather, assassinated his character by saying things like "what kind of friend...", "...i would have called your shit out...", etcetera.
No one is a stereotype - so please don't misread this as me saying this is how Scorpios behave - all people can lash out when hurt (I know I can, and I am an Aquarius - I'm supposed to be cool and detached, ha!).
One sister to another - my advice to you is to take a good look at the situation objectively as possible - take a good look at your behavior. Is it possible he didn't hear/see you? Is it possible you were incredibly unkind to him? Is it possible that you could/should have said hello to him when you saw him, rather than hide? Once you consider these questions/answers - and any other angles/perspectives/issues at play - you might want to simply send him a letter acknowledging how you truly felt inside, how you really feel for and about him, and apologize.
After that, he will be receptive to you. Do not try calling/texting until you've reflected on your own part of this dance. It takes two to tango; and my guess is you'd rather have a nice slow dance with him...so wait until you can be gentle and loving.
All the best - and without any judgment (love is SO hard),
@ Wildplaces - Thank you for your honest advice. For the last month i've been thinkong about what I did. I know I could have handle it differently . I just wish he would give me a chance to explain . I called him last night ( no answer ) I told him to give me a call when he got a chance. I can't write him a letter I don't know where to send it. They only way I have to get to him is the phone.
I never saw the part about the booty-call...blecch. Now I think he's just a creep.
My advice is still valid as you need to learn from this experience about yourself - but I also think higher standards for yourself are in order. Stop calling him. Point blank - if he's not interested in your value, don't share it with him.
If you two cross paths someday and your gut tells you to be kind, even though that is contrary to convention - follow your gut. Sit down for coffee, make your amends if you want - shake his hand, and wish him well. You two may have a friendship in your future; but he doesn't deserve you. Not at this point. And you calling him only shows him that you can't see that. His not answering shows that he knows you don't value yourself.
Take time for yourself, be kind to yourself - do what makes you happy in life. It is SO hard to forget about those that have touched our souls and inspired our heart's imagination - but you need to put it on a shelf. You've got bigger fish to fry - like taking care of yourself.