Is it meant to be?



  • I'm 6/12/92...he is a 22/1/89... ive known him for over 2 years. we were close mates, i know him through my ex as they're good mates. the thing is, we did keep seeing each other but then it would stop. then it would carry on at some point. He tells me he wants to be with me, but not yet because he wants to be ready for me. this confuses me because we would still be very close etc. but then we would stop speaking, then he would act a bit arsey with me because he is with my ex. the other day he told me he doesn't no longer want anything to do with me. he accused me of never believing anything he says, and that i always assume things that are not even happening. the thing is, he never believes anything i say and he is the one assuming things. and for him to not want any contact with me has made me feel really down, me and him were so close and really good mates. what do i do?



  • All I can tell you is time and space, give your mate both of those things, if it is meant to be it will be, if it is not, it will not. Time and space.



  • Hi, Sounds to me like he has another love interest. If he has made you feel this badly, maybe time to re-think and move on. I have found that usually when you are accused ( without merit), it's a guilty conscious (meaning his).



  • Sometimes close mates have a strong attraction for each other but it doesn't necessarily turn to love...you're both young, think of him still as a "mate" and give him space to live his life and you live yours. At 17....start to enjoy being "young,free & single"....you never know but your paths may cross when you both are a lot older and wiser and you may find love with each other ...but until then ...have fun!



  • OK - a Pisces - another Internet connection - met via a Unity site so it gives him a certain credence with me. Very quickly hot and romantic.........and deep and long conversations. THEN........he backed away from a physical meeting. Still good 'friends' but I thought more possibly. My gift or my loss? We're both over 50 so it isn't like we're amateurs at this. Is it destined to be just a special friendship? Tell me of Pisces men.



  • Go out and have a load of fun with your girlfriends....men there's just no knowing what they want, They scare easy, if ythey like you too much too quickly they back off. If you take the initiative they say 'needy@ crickey I have been alone for 7 years without a man to answer to so I'm certainly not needy. Sod 'em that's what I say. Go have fun, stop wasting your thoughts on him, he'll figure it out one day



  • Hi Rawrr16,

    I'm sorry he treats you like this , it's so unfair.

    Unfortunately though, he sounds to me like he needs to live some more before committing himself to a full time relationship. Men of that age are often less mature than females.

    (i know that's not all of them but that's what i feel to be true in this case) 🙂

    If it were me, i'd just go with the flow for now and don't allow him to come and go as he pleases, because you will feel used. If you can't give him the freedom he needs right now without feeling hurt and rejected then you need to let him go for your own self esteem and reputation.

    You'll soon discover if it's meant to be.

    Good luck whatever you decide and if it doesn't work out, be kind to yourself.

    Verdana 🙂



  • I don't like the feeling that I get when I read your post. It doesn't seem to sit right. What I mean is that this man is holding you at arm's length, basically asking you to wait for him, but in the meantime is telling you that he will not commit to you right now. He's not telling you everything. I really think he is being deceitful or dishonest. Like Dalia says, I think he has another love interest that he likes more than he likes you. BUT he also does like you and is keeping you on reserve or 'in the wings' just in case things with his 'preferred person' doesn't work out. That's just wrong. By all means, see about developing this relationship if that is what your heart is telling you to do, but don't every wait for him. You are not together, so be single. Don't every hold yourself back because he wants you to. If he loves you enough, then he will do what it takes to make sure he doesn't lose you. I could be wrong, BUT it sounds like you are his 'second choice'. In love, I'm nobody's 'second choice', and I don't believe anyone else ever should be either. It's either love, or it's not. If it was love, he wouldn't be hesitating.

    ...with that said, sometimes things that don't start out that way can grow into love. So who knows? Does that make you sufficiently confused enough?

    In recap, by all means, explore this relationship but don't ever spend any time waiting. I think there's more going on in his head or his life than he's telling you.



  • I agree with the last post. He wants his cake and eat it too. I been there done that one and what I have learned is that this man who doesn't want to committ is taking up space in my life for someone who is serious about me to enter. Clear him out of your life and if it was meant to be then he will come back a new man ready to give you what you want.