Cancer Man ... how to communicate with him ?
As a Leo woman I'm really open to people and don't have any communicational problems. Still with that Cancer guy it is so hard. He has been hurt in the past by his ex and he doesn't think he'll fall in love ever again. Still I like him prett much, and I'm trying to get colser to him. Unfortunately, we both live in different places, so we mainly communicate via e-mails, and sometimes is hard to sustain some serious topic or conversation that way.
I went and visited him this weekend and we had the most amazing sex ever. He was akting so nice with me, and took care for me like neone before. Still, when it came to communication he was completely backoff ... he never asked me a personal question, as if he was afraid to get to know me. And at the same time he was holding my hand, kissing me, etc.
When I got back home he told me that he really enjoyed the time spent with me ... and we continued mailing each other, but he still just answers my questions withou giving me any in return. He always send me kissess and replies to my mails, but still i feel him somehow distant.
I really like him, but I think he might just enjoy having sex with me and nothing more. So i just want to go clean and ask him directly, still I'm afraid to not scare him away. Please don't judge me ... I'll reall appreciate if u give me some advice on how to proceed here. Should i just ask him and get the things clear, before anyone gets hurt ... or should I be more patiant with him ?!
I am a man and I can tell you from a man's point of view the guy is happy the way things are and I doubt he will want anything to change. This is a sexual relationship and nothing more.
In future maybe establish some sort of communication and know where you stand before sleeping with someone, otherwise it will just end up in disaster.
My 2 cents...
Don't wait for a man to tell you where you stand. You tell him what you want and if he can't oblige then set him loose. This guy is a dud..
Yeah Dangala ... I know u r right about that.
It's just the first time we met, I thought I would never see him again, so I decided to be impulsive and to act for the moment. I didn't expected him to write me back ever again and I defenitely was stoned when he invited me over his place. And then take so good care for me, and even met me with his friends.
I know what's the truth, but i somehow need to hear it from him, so i could continue with my life. otherwise I feel stuck
10x for you advise .. next time I'm definitely going with it
This post is deleted!
The cancers in my life: my mother, my husband, 2 sons, my boss. I'm writing this because I have a bit of cancer experience
You can't communicate with a cancer, whether male or female. They are pure "feeling" and can't translate their feelings into words.
They may love you intensely, but that doesn't mean they love you for what/who YOU are. They love what you do for THEM and their fragile ego. Their sensitivity for themselves is so great that they lack the ability to see that other people are sensitive also.
Cancer's main weapon against you is GUILT. Not theirs - YOURS!
They know how to make you feel guilty. For being you. For liking what you like. For not having enough intuition to know what they want/need/desire/feel - but they won't tell you, oh no....... they like your guilt. Nothing you ever do will make them happy, TRULY happy, you will always know that you fell short of perfection somehow.
Cancer's talent is to make you jump in many directions trying to find a way to "connect" with them. When you think you finally know how, they'll scurry back into their little shells.
When a cancer reads what I wrote above, the response will be: "but that's not true! It's all in your imagination! I just want the best for you!"
Conclusion: You can start feeling guilty again because your assessment was unfair.
My Ex- husband was a Cancerian and so is my youngest son.
My then husband was unable to express himself in words and if you confronted him demanding answers, you would not get them. It is my experience that you have to plant seeds and watch them grow over the next couple of days. (Also check his rising sign as that will have a mot to do with his behaviour).
I agree with Gajayu about the guilt. He will instinctively know your weakest spot and use that as a weapon.
Of course, being a Leo, you are wanting the attention, reassurance, loyalty etc and your own insecurities are demanding it now. Patience is not a Leo's strong point.
Ask yourself why you are chasing after someone who is not responding to you the way you desire. Is it you being "needly" - in which case take some time to work on your own insecurities and feelings of self- worth.
I would walk away from this and actively find other things to concentrate on. Don't contact him for a week and see if he then starts chasing you.
My experience of cancerian is "It's my way or the highway" - total control freaks and very manipulative (that's the negative) but very loving and sensitive when they feel safe.
For the record - I could never trust my ex-husband. He had numerous affairs throughout our marriage of which I never knew about.
hi leo power,i understand you...now when we leos fall we fall with our heart &soul...but its not the same for evrybody specially not the cancer males...they will woo you with soft spoken words..take care of you...remember all the dates...been through all that...Dont wait for this loser to come around....trust me u r better off without him..dont prolong your misery thinking 'what if ',ask him if theres a future with u or not..if he says no then move on ..ignore him completely.....&try 7engage yourself in something creative that you like to do...the only person who is going to get hurt in all of this is you......&if he says no then tell him what exactly you think of him...trust me "your words are going to haunt him for the rest of his life"
p.s-if he feels you are the one the very first qs hes gonna ask you if abt having a family...&if hes silent then he has somebody lined up listening to his sob stories about his ex....trust your instincts...they will never betray you!all the best