This time next year



  • Just wondering where will I be next year at this time.

    Job wise

    Money wise

    Home wise

    & relationship wise.

    My thoughts:

    Job advancement with my current employer that will pay more that will also lead to me traveling out of town some.

    Home wise, same place

    Money wise, hopefully more due to job

    Relationship wise, not with me husband, possibly back with my former husband or just alone

    So how close am I to being right? Tell me where will I be next year at this time, please.

    Much thanks.



  • Dear cns143,

    Hello,

    Job wise you will take the advancement and do more traveling.

    Homewise, you will remain where you are at for around three more yrs and than move to a warmer state.

    Relationship wise: You will be more alone , I do not sense you returning to your former husband. Yes, you will keep in touch with him, but not return to him as that would not lead to your own personal gowth needed.You will find companionship in your travels and meet a very interesting man, but I feel the need to warn you he may be married , he has a J in his name. Never fear as you will meet a man closer to home and in a group setting as I feel you like to mingle among the people , He will make u laugh and feel really good about yourself. He is well educated and I see him reading a lot of books, He will be met in the Jolly season of Christmas.



  • Cns143, a successful and happy future doesn't just happen by itself. You must have a plan and, in order to have a plan, you must know what you want and what will make you happy. Do you know what you want and how to get it? Do you know what holds you back and how to get rid of it?



  • Thank you both he is packing up his stuff so he can move out tomorrow.

    Captain.....

    Good words!

    I am sure I will speak more later when I can think!



  • Do you?



  • Shuabby......?



  • Yes, Do you know what is holding you back and how to get rid of it? I was just wondering.

    Have a good evening



  • I thought thats what you meant!

    I believe part of what is holding me back is my brain is still attached somewhat to my ex husband. Somewhere I think deep down I am not sure that I will ever give up a hope no matter how big or little that one day we will get back together. Its funny though in the last few months I've really came into my own and now know who I am and more know what I want out of life. So in a way I don't even know why I care any more whether he will ever fit in it again or not.

    I know I want to be independent, go as far as I can in my job, get my house back in order, get my finances better and improve my car situation. I know I want my kids to be happy and I believe since I now feel better about myself.......I've always loved everyone else more then me.....maybe I am finally on the right track.

    I feel to improve some of those things my current husband needed to get out of the picture because there is no way I can hold both of us up. When he is around and the house is not in order and the finances are a mess I feel stuck in my old life. I think its time somehow I have to let go of the past, hold my head up, give myself a pat on the back and go forward.

    How exactly to do it all other then just setting my mind to it though, I'm not sure. Especially whenever it seems so hard to let go of the life that I have already led for 38 years. I know I want to live life and not have it live me and I know I have a lot of life that I lost that I want to make up for! That is why now I am trying harder then ever and living my life wide open and trying to live 2 days at once to catch up for the years I somehow missed working on me. 🙂

    Make sense?

    Do you have any other ideas how to help?

    THANK you!!



  • Have you discussed with your current employer your prospects for job advancement and a possible salary rise?



  • cns143,

    I feel that your first husband was your first love and you know we never forget them no matter what, now you have grown up and must leave first loves and things you have outgrown behind as hard as that is to do. Loving yourself first is wonderful for you to do and will help you to achive what you are looking for in friendship and than another love that will endure the test of time. Your children love you as I feel you are a very good mother, your car situation will change soon I sense in six months you will be driving a newer better condition car, I'm seeing the color red here. Good for you honey that your current husband is out of the house . You will feel much freedom now and the universe will hear your cry for help and send it in forms that you will just know that it was sent from above. The Captain advice about your current employer is something you really should consider also.



  • Thanks to you both!

    I have to share something really weird. Back in August I wrote about my husband leaving.....I'd moved him out then to and was wondering if anyone would ever come into my life and I received the following response from TheCaptain.

    "I feel that a man will live in that house with you but it is no one that you have met before (at least in this life). This is a brown haired very jolly and funny man you will meet probably in a bookstore or place of learning. His spirit is very close to yours. "

    I kept thinking I was crazy that this sounded familiar and went back thru my postings needless to say I am floored that 2 times within 3 months 2 of you said almost the same thing! How odd! I now am really wondering about this Jolly Bookstore Guy! Sounds interesting to say the least!!

    Now I guess on to your questions/suggestions!

    What do you think is the best way for me to approach my boss? We are always picking on each other, he has given me some leads expressing that they are looking for someone at sometime to run the east coast of the United States while they build up the west. Of course I was like ME!! But they know my car STINKS and I am not sure if this will be a problem? Not sure what's the best way to approach him other then hey I need the money & I've done an EXCELLENT job PLEASE can I have more money!! 🙂

    I do feel relieved now that the current husband is out of the house. I hate to feel this way, but I do.

    The first husband was my first love. I am starting to realize though I will "love" him in unique ways always that I am NOT "in love" with him anymore. Just I guess I thought I had it right and now that "I've grown up!!" REALLY I keep thinking man if this would have been this way then well......then again I know it holds me back! I only wanted to be married once & now I find myself wondering if I might get married a THIRD time!!!????? It's heart breaking because of the 5 marriages I went thru with my own mother but I guess it wouldn't be the worst thing that could ever happen to me again especially if he....maybe even Jolly....is the RIGHT one!

    One more confession told the daughter about all of this and let her read the two posting from you both describing this jolly guy and she said mom love it! Sounds good to me and I like him already!!

    LOL

    Thank you both!



  • Approach your boss by convincing him you are the best person for the job, not because you are desperate. Exude confidence and poise and prepare carefully and be organised - lay out all your strengths, what you can do for the company in this new position, and what you have already done for the company. That's all he wants to know - that you will make money for him. Sell yourself well and you will get the promotion. And stop picking on him - behave like a mature manager should.

    And ask yourself if you need to be married to be happy.



  • Thanks Captain! Ah the boss always gives me a hard time and he normally starts it! Guess that's why I give it back.

    I guess I don't NEED to be married to be happy but I guess I'd WANT to be married again one day. I guess being only 38 and thinking this could be just now me forever kinda stinks! I love to give someone attention and my father was a bachelor after my mother for YEARS and I just think it's a lonely life not to share it with someone. Being a "hermit" is not the life for me! Maybe I'm wrong I don't know. I guess to by nature I am a very traditional person especially when it comes to marriage and definitely intimacy. (blush!) Maybe I'm wrong I don't know. I do know next time I will think it out a LOT better before rushing in to it.



  • Isn't there any middle ground for you between the life of a loner and hermit, and being married? I would think being active and busy with hobbies and interests and travelling and having lots of friends sounds like a nice life, too.



  • That's true too. I can only pray that my life will now take that turn! I intend for it to! I remember thinking in between my 1st husband and 2nd husband I was just getting the hang of being me and enjoying it. Now that I am separated again I am already thinking this is why I loved living that part of my life! Meeting new people, making new friends, doing something for myself. Yes I love that part! The house has already well progressed! I love to be independent and make my own decisions. I love to travel! I guess that's my prayer enjoy things how they are and keep pushing forth praying that the job and the money will come for me to enjoy the things that I WANT to do!!

    Thank you so much!

    So much going on in my life right now, thanks for being an outlet and listening and responding. It is honestly appreciated!



  • You're very welcome. 🙂



  • Don't know what to do!

    The van I drive is DEAD, DEAD, DEAD!! I have no money, tried to ask my mom if I could borrow her car to get me to work and the kids to school and like normal its one excuse after the other!

    Any suggestions? I'm lost! Had some friends try to jump it off that's not the problem. The whole thing is falling apart. Sigh

    Any idea when might be a good time for me to ask the boss about the raise and promotion? Been thinking on that for days too.

    Thanks.



  • The Universe is using your dead car to tell you that the time to move on the promotion and/or raise is NOW.



  • So I've been preparing for my raise/promotion conversation and get it all ready. Then I look on the bosses facebook to find out hes going to the dentist and the foot doctor today. Sigh! Now I hate to ask him TODAY!!

    Oh well tomorrow is another day!!

    B~)

    Sigh because I get another 24 hours of waiting or smile because at least I now not to ask today!



  • So after all that my building had a leak in the warehouse today and I had to call my boss. In the middle of all that I told him I wanted to ask him about something, that I had been happy but then I found out he was going to the doctors today. And well by the end of the conversation I winded up asking him about a possible raise! He almost sounded like he expected me to ask! (he had a good tone!) I told him to think that I needed to get back to that leak. I just told him when I started I got a raise and promotion on day one (originally I was hired 10 hours part-time and the ex manager got fired so I was asked instead of starting as part-time to just take her job!) and since then I felt like he would agree I had done a very good job, that I would not leave the position or company and that I would do anything he needed for me to do. I've proved that before!!

    So prayerfully it will happen! It's out there now anyway! I may have not had the best tact today but I told him at least I got it off my chest and we could go from there!

    :~D


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